Make a plan
Look around
Define your goals
Decide a strategy
Claim your tools and resources
Here we go
That’s basically what you need to do when you start on a new project. I can’t remember why I wrote it down. I vagelue remember it having something to do with my personal business development and with trying to write a new blog. Yes, even for writing a blog these steps can be useful.
I’m sure I wrote this before, but I’m going to tell you again, if only to make myself feel good about me.
I’m working on two major projects at work. For both projects several technical connections need to be made. For both projects the information streams can’t be put in standard templates with standard solutions. What I’ve been doing this week, and mainly today, is trying to find the right form and trying to fit the connections in standard solutions. It’s interesting and confusing. But bit by bit we’re building up and improving an organization for information sharing.
I’m so in the moment!
Good thing Christmas holidays are on its way. I’m tired. Hopefully 2014 will start of bright. Hopefully, the winter won’t last as long coming year. 2014 scares me, more than any other years have done. Hmm, I’m not sure that’s true. I feel mildly uncomfortable about 2014. Big things are on the horizon and I’m trying to fit them within the cramped confines of human abilities.
Other than that, I’m really looking forward to being two weeks off.
With this post I reached my quotum. I’m not sure if this will be my last post, but in case it will be:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
+1
Only two more posts to go and I will have posted just enough posts to rival the most posts in December I ever posted. One more, and this year’s will be the most. Problem is, I don’t know anything to write about.
Did you also notice how I stopped posting pictures? Well, almost.
Some of my posts I write these days are so short, I might just as well try tweeting instead. Most of the time, I end up deleting them alltogether.
There’s one more study I’m sort of working on. Why doesn’t Brent Spiner get more roles? And why doesn’t he ever play the leading character? He only did once, and that was ages ago. Well, okay, decades ago. Still, most things we see him in are small parts, usually the nerdy scientist guy.
So, that’s a bit longer than 140 characters.
+1
Did you also notice how I stopped posting pictures? Well, almost.
Some of my posts I write these days are so short, I might just as well try tweeting instead. Most of the time, I end up deleting them alltogether.
There’s one more study I’m sort of working on. Why doesn’t Brent Spiner get more roles? And why doesn’t he ever play the leading character? He only did once, and that was ages ago. Well, okay, decades ago. Still, most things we see him in are small parts, usually the nerdy scientist guy.
So, that’s a bit longer than 140 characters.
+1
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Great Minds...
My mind was just a little greater....or I saw it earlier and he aped me...Hey, oh wait....funny...
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
OMG, She Was Melora!!!!
A Whovian has been woken:
OMG, SHE WAS MELORA!!!
In 1996, Daphne Ashbrook was cast as Dr Grace Holloway in the Paul McGann TV Movie of Doctor Who. A few weeks before the film debuted, BBC2 premiered an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine called Melora in which Daphne starred as the eponymous Melora Pazlar.
Source
I watched this episode recently and didn't realize.
OMG, SHE WAS MELORA!!!
Daphne Ashbrook
In 1996, Daphne Ashbrook was cast as Dr Grace Holloway in the Paul McGann TV Movie of Doctor Who. A few weeks before the film debuted, BBC2 premiered an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine called Melora in which Daphne starred as the eponymous Melora Pazlar.
Source
I watched this episode recently and didn't realize.
Office Notes
Yesterday I described how I work. Maybe I should have described how I don’t work. Right now, for instance, my brain is in such state, it can’t comprehend much. I just don’t feel able to construct any meaningful work related sentences. On my blog I can blabber as much as I want (within certain limits, because big Brother is always watching you).
It’s easier for me to start on something new, because I can create chaos first. A fine complete chaos with loose ideas, half formed sentences, starts of structure and notes about things I shouldn’t forget. That’s what I’m best at, coming up with the idea of a new product. I’m fairly good at the execution, the description and definition part of it, but it takes more effort on my part. Designing something completely, practical and functional is awefully difficult. That reminds me of an episode of Star Trek TNG. At the start Worf is testing torpedoes he designed. One torpedo completely misses its goal and spirals off into space to Worf’s great annoyance. Captain Picard and Data have to go after it to retrieve it. Worf spends the rest of the episode, till his transfiguration into something more primitive, grumbling about his flawed design.
I shrugged at it, because I know how hard it is to design something and have it work propperly at the first go. At least he was still in the testing fase.
Anyway….
My brains seem to have turned to mush. I was also very late in work. This evening is the Christmas party from work, so it’s going to be a very short working day. I wonder when I’m supposed to catch up on the lost time.
They’ve been doing air quality tests in the office; a lot of people had been complaining about dry eyes, etc. The shape of the office completely throws the air flow which causes drastic temperature differences on the floors. Also the air is much too dry. For me it has been all right. I remember the first year working here was worse; I left almost every evening with a headache which would disappear after I left the building. Go figure.
It’s easier for me to start on something new, because I can create chaos first. A fine complete chaos with loose ideas, half formed sentences, starts of structure and notes about things I shouldn’t forget. That’s what I’m best at, coming up with the idea of a new product. I’m fairly good at the execution, the description and definition part of it, but it takes more effort on my part. Designing something completely, practical and functional is awefully difficult. That reminds me of an episode of Star Trek TNG. At the start Worf is testing torpedoes he designed. One torpedo completely misses its goal and spirals off into space to Worf’s great annoyance. Captain Picard and Data have to go after it to retrieve it. Worf spends the rest of the episode, till his transfiguration into something more primitive, grumbling about his flawed design.
I shrugged at it, because I know how hard it is to design something and have it work propperly at the first go. At least he was still in the testing fase.
Anyway….
My brains seem to have turned to mush. I was also very late in work. This evening is the Christmas party from work, so it’s going to be a very short working day. I wonder when I’m supposed to catch up on the lost time.
They’ve been doing air quality tests in the office; a lot of people had been complaining about dry eyes, etc. The shape of the office completely throws the air flow which causes drastic temperature differences on the floors. Also the air is much too dry. For me it has been all right. I remember the first year working here was worse; I left almost every evening with a headache which would disappear after I left the building. Go figure.
2013
As expected, my blogging frenzy has decreased. Just like the leaves on the trees, (Or should I say the leaves off the trees?) my inspiration for blog posts has dried up. I don’t really want to whine about my autumn depression again and there’s only so much I can say about Star Trek and even Doctor Who without being repetitive. Funny, 50th anniversary. Hardly notice anything of it. Fortunately, we still have Bigfinish. I can’t believe it’s already behind us.
Next year seems empty and low on excitement. Star Trek 50 years is still two years away. Not that I care as much as I did for DW, but it’s something at least.
It seems I’ve been reading more books this year, my hunger for new stories has been bigger. It was an interesting year with all kind of things happening. Also still not used to having a King. The royal family waved at us, obligatory. I waved back without realizing it was them. To me it only made clear how ridiculous being royalty can be.
We had a hot summer after a very long and cold winter. I had several swims in the lake which I enjoyed immensely. I missed the last opportunity because I had a cold. I don’t as much regret it as much as being disappointed about that missed swim. Ah well, hopefully it will be nice coming year.
Overall, I liked this year. A lot was happening. I’ve been learning a lot too and I have been entertained plenty as well. After 2010-2012, it was a welcome change.
Next year seems empty and low on excitement. Star Trek 50 years is still two years away. Not that I care as much as I did for DW, but it’s something at least.
It seems I’ve been reading more books this year, my hunger for new stories has been bigger. It was an interesting year with all kind of things happening. Also still not used to having a King. The royal family waved at us, obligatory. I waved back without realizing it was them. To me it only made clear how ridiculous being royalty can be.
We had a hot summer after a very long and cold winter. I had several swims in the lake which I enjoyed immensely. I missed the last opportunity because I had a cold. I don’t as much regret it as much as being disappointed about that missed swim. Ah well, hopefully it will be nice coming year.
Overall, I liked this year. A lot was happening. I’ve been learning a lot too and I have been entertained plenty as well. After 2010-2012, it was a welcome change.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Things
From experience I know I won’t be fit and awake in the morning, yet still most likely to do my greatest load of work. So I always plan the heavy, thinky stuff in the morning, like writing designs or analysis. In the afternoon, just after lunch, I’ll do a little more work, usually stuff I already thought up in the morning but didn’t get around to. Then around 2pm I don’t feel like working anymore so my work pace slows. Often this is the time to start making models. Even though drawing the models I need for my work requires thinking, the fact I’m drawing makes it look like less of an effort. When I finished my model, I’m completely tired of work. That’s usually the time to start doing some personal work related stuff, like registering hours and figuring out how many and when holidays to take.
…or writing blogs…though I often write these around lunch time too.
It’s December. In December I never seem to have much inspiration to write. I’m too busy counting down the days. January always seems so much brighter to me. I miss the light. I miss the warmth. I miss swimming in the lake.
My mind has been wandering back to Alexander. What’s there left to say? Nothing much.
I took therapy, or counseling, a few times. I was told I was not a depressed person, just a bit down.
I have to find the things that give me energy. I have to find the things I like doing, cause they give me energy. Problem is, I’m a naturally lazy person. But sitting down doing nothing does nothing to elevate my energy levels, so I take trips on my bike to the supermarket or a walk around the lake. At work, doing nothing is even worse, so I take up all kind of things to do, just to keep myself occupied. Apparently, I’m active enough, and succesful enough, people trust me in doing all that needs doing. That’s good.
So, that’s nearly 2013 done. I’m counting down. What’s for 2014?
Today I read an article on LinkedIn. The readers were challenged to come up with three highlights for 2014. I could only think of two for myself:
1) Designing and having developed an application for extra distribution functionalities;
2) Promotion to senior level.
I couldn’t think of a third one. Maybe I’ll come up with something for the women movement at work.
This is as much I could think of to write about.
Current status:
- Rewatching Next Generation;
- Watching DS9;
- Buying all 50th anniversary DW related stuff;
- Watching my finances turning to goo;
- Work is busy and good.
…or writing blogs…though I often write these around lunch time too.
It’s December. In December I never seem to have much inspiration to write. I’m too busy counting down the days. January always seems so much brighter to me. I miss the light. I miss the warmth. I miss swimming in the lake.
My mind has been wandering back to Alexander. What’s there left to say? Nothing much.
I took therapy, or counseling, a few times. I was told I was not a depressed person, just a bit down.
I have to find the things that give me energy. I have to find the things I like doing, cause they give me energy. Problem is, I’m a naturally lazy person. But sitting down doing nothing does nothing to elevate my energy levels, so I take trips on my bike to the supermarket or a walk around the lake. At work, doing nothing is even worse, so I take up all kind of things to do, just to keep myself occupied. Apparently, I’m active enough, and succesful enough, people trust me in doing all that needs doing. That’s good.
So, that’s nearly 2013 done. I’m counting down. What’s for 2014?
Today I read an article on LinkedIn. The readers were challenged to come up with three highlights for 2014. I could only think of two for myself:
1) Designing and having developed an application for extra distribution functionalities;
2) Promotion to senior level.
I couldn’t think of a third one. Maybe I’ll come up with something for the women movement at work.
This is as much I could think of to write about.
Current status:
- Rewatching Next Generation;
- Watching DS9;
- Buying all 50th anniversary DW related stuff;
- Watching my finances turning to goo;
- Work is busy and good.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Business Oppertunities
Quite a while back, actually, a long time ago, back when I was still a student, a friend and I were thinking up what we could do together as a job. We came up with an ideas shop. We could come up with the ideas and sell them to people who would like to execute them. Of course, nothing came of it.
Since I was looking for my first job I'm signed up to several sites ranging from vacancy sites to professionel (IT) sites. This means I get newsletters about what's going on out there on the market jobwise and development wise. Today I had one from LinkedIn. I smelled another business oppertunity I'm not going to act upon:
Connecting People
It's like starting a dating site for people with ideas. Connect the right people and see how ideas develop and get executed. It sounds like a regular dating site and job hunters agency. It is not.
Obviously, the idea is not explored enough to make it really interesting. Neither do I really have the time to work it all out. Maybe I'll revisit this idea one day.
Since I was looking for my first job I'm signed up to several sites ranging from vacancy sites to professionel (IT) sites. This means I get newsletters about what's going on out there on the market jobwise and development wise. Today I had one from LinkedIn. I smelled another business oppertunity I'm not going to act upon:
Connecting People
It's like starting a dating site for people with ideas. Connect the right people and see how ideas develop and get executed. It sounds like a regular dating site and job hunters agency. It is not.
Obviously, the idea is not explored enough to make it really interesting. Neither do I really have the time to work it all out. Maybe I'll revisit this idea one day.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
the Day of the Doctor - As Introduced by David Tennant
I promise, no spoilers:
Blogger's buggering again, so click it: http://youtu.be/rEmm6UP5G88
Blogger's buggering again, so click it: http://youtu.be/rEmm6UP5G88
Things that Currently Make Me Happy
Things that make me happy: Queen, Doctor Who, Brent…I’m still not cured. Every time I think I can hear him sing in Sunday, it puts a big smile on my face. I would love to see Brent in a musical, or should I say “to hear Brent in a musical”? No, it’s see, cause that implies just that little bit more I’ll go to see him.
Not sure what to think of 1776. It’s about the independy of America and about John Adams. It isn’t my history. As a matter of fact, anything like this usually makes me feel nausious. Thing is, Brent sounds really good in it. Or he grabbed me, once again. He really has a tendency…
I downloaded three songs of which two are Brent related and one Doctor Who.
On youtube, someone once posted a video celebrating 48 years of Doctor Who set to One Republic’s Marching On. It’s very apt and a great song. It just started playing on my phone; it put a smile on my face.
Also, only 4 days till the Day of the Doctor!!!
Not sure what to think of 1776. It’s about the independy of America and about John Adams. It isn’t my history. As a matter of fact, anything like this usually makes me feel nausious. Thing is, Brent sounds really good in it. Or he grabbed me, once again. He really has a tendency…
I downloaded three songs of which two are Brent related and one Doctor Who.
On youtube, someone once posted a video celebrating 48 years of Doctor Who set to One Republic’s Marching On. It’s very apt and a great song. It just started playing on my phone; it put a smile on my face.
Also, only 4 days till the Day of the Doctor!!!
Brent in Rent Control
Last Saturday I watched “Rent Control”, a movie from ‘81/’84, with Brent in the lead. The movie is not very good, the lead character not very likeable and the writing didn’t help Brent at all. What didn’t help either is his looks in the movie. He has something that can only be described as a 70’s porn moustache. *Shudder* and his beautiful eyes are constantly hidden behind awful glasses. He’s also awefully skinny, but that shouldn’t have been a turn off. It normally isn’t. He’s still quite skinny, for a man his age.
It’s quite clear I didn’t think much of the movie. However, I enjoyed myself, since it was Saturday, or actually Sunday very early in the morning (around 1.00 am), it seemed appropriate. Back when I was still living with my mum I watched many movies on Sunday mornings at that hour, and some with that quality. And it helped it had Dutch subtitles. That took me back. That was the only reason, after I clicked it accidentally, to leave it on and watch it. I’m glad to say I survived it.
What a waste of talent that was.
I was searching for some pictures to go with this post and I inadvertently started to play a part of the movie again. I watched a few seconds and concluded that in that scene (him walking in the park with a girl) he was actually sort of cute.
Oh well, here are the pictures.
It’s quite clear I didn’t think much of the movie. However, I enjoyed myself, since it was Saturday, or actually Sunday very early in the morning (around 1.00 am), it seemed appropriate. Back when I was still living with my mum I watched many movies on Sunday mornings at that hour, and some with that quality. And it helped it had Dutch subtitles. That took me back. That was the only reason, after I clicked it accidentally, to leave it on and watch it. I’m glad to say I survived it.
What a waste of talent that was.
I was searching for some pictures to go with this post and I inadvertently started to play a part of the movie again. I watched a few seconds and concluded that in that scene (him walking in the park with a girl) he was actually sort of cute.
Oh well, here are the pictures.
 |
| Sort of cute here |
 |
| But still, not quite it |
Monday, November 18, 2013
Bring the 8th Back
What happened last Thursday (in the Whoniverse) is all over the Internet, so I don't need to tell you the 8th Doctor has finally, though shortly, returned to our screens in a minisode:
We want more...obviously. So sign this petition to bring back Paul McGann as the Doctor: http://www.change.org/petitions/steven-moffat-paul-mcgann-create-a-series-of-live-action-eighth-doctor-adventures?share_id=JGzkQYCetc&utm_campaign=autopublish&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition#share
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Cleaning Up and Blowing My Own Horn?
These I found in my blog-test-and-edit document. Don't think it's too bad, but nowhere near completion. Just choice bits of characterisations and thoughts. I don't expect you to make it to the end. If you will, cue baffled silence, and: "Don't you have anything useful to do?"
Noah (one of my favourite self made up characters)
Secrets lay in his eyes. A gentle smile plays around his lips. I know well he knows me well. Softly spoken and yet so audible. He speaks my heart and calms my nerves. Like a rain coat in a storm. I hide around him.
Women Rule the World
Not much has changed; the dandy’s are still circling around a choice kiddie girl trying to get into her pants. Maybe a few things have changed around here; the women no longer wear skirts and suspenders to match and the dandy’s don’t take off their hats anymore. Not much has changed though. People are still fooled to think money and power is all they need. Love is equal to sex and visa versa. And since Robin Hood is no more no-one raises a hand for us poor buggers. The only thing they’d do to help themselves is offer their body up for sale. Education is overrated; love wears blusher, eyeliner and too tight jeans. And somehow we always seem to be out of money.
Between Good and Right Interests flew right over her head. Surely, it couldn’t be so incomprehensible.
Cleo stared out of the window at the dark blue sky. The evening had fallen sooner than she expected or hoped for. She needed the light. In silence she cursed the year for breaking into autumn once again. It was too cold for her mood and with autumn progressing into winter Cleo felt like her own light was fading too. She couldn’t wait for the new year and for spring to come again. That sounded as much a distant future as retiring did.
Her eyes stared dead into the dark void while she mused about what to cook. The only thing she really wanted to do was curl up in a warm bed and watch TV; mindless entertainment to put her thoughts off things.
The sky is grey; it reminds me of the day before running through the pouring rain. Even though it only took 5 minutes to run from the bus stop to the entrance of my building, I was soaking wet and cold to the bone when I opened my front door. The house was dark and empty; a situation that set in about one year prior. The silence inside reminds me of the strange year that lay almost behind me. It reminded me of the year to come. This melancholy feeling follows me around a lot, especially when at work. I try to spread my work and the moments of quiet contemplation over eight hours. The balance between the two has been absent for the last year. There were days we could hardly have a break and take a breath. Though, most of the days I spent leaning with my elbows on the table and googling several subjects from how to sort words in an excel sheet to the going on’s of my favourite artists.
It’s been like this for nearly a year. A strange year, to say the least. A year in which I started to understand how my broken social contacts from the past have their roots in even a further past. A past I hardly know anything about.
In the past I used to be very positive about adoption, to some extent. I do remember saying once I wasn’t sure it really worked out.
When All Falls Through
“I’m not gonna wait with you, my bus is coming,” he says. Hesitantly he looks at the lonely figure hugging herself to stay warm.
She answers: “Yeah,” while an involuntary shiver ragged her body. Her hat scarcely covered the tears. Her shawl hid only just her trembling lips. Why did she have to fall for a married man?
He knows too. He’s still standing there staring at her. There’s no way he was going to take her in his arms. He should walk away, now.
I love him so much it makes me want to punch his face in, but then again…. I hate myself for loving him so much and for thinking about him way too much. I am drowning in my own inability to stop the floods. I should have stepped up years ago, but what did I know?
Auburn August
She had auburn hair and the ability to make you forget. Though I never forgot about those eyes, shaped like she was forever squinting and hazel or something of green. The most I knew about her was her waving hair.
She stood tall and wise; almost unforgivably beautiful.
What a Male (About or inspired by Alan Rickman)
He is one of these people you’re unconsciously staring at in awe. It’s not that he’s that pretty; he’s not ugly, but his face wouldn’t end up in the classic pretty faces book. He has a more secretive beauty about him. His attractiveness comes from something different than his face. Even at age 64, he’s intriguingly attractive.
He usually sits quietly in a corner watching everybody being too loud. You hardly notice him till he makes his sarcastic, funny remark. Everybody laughs, you included. You think you’re the only one who notices him. That’s not true, because the poppy chick is talking to him too. She’s laughing way too loud, because he’s so smart and funny and the boss likes him a lot. You see him squirm a little; he’s trying to get away. He seems genuinely scared of her and you feel for him. In spite of all his awkwardness he’s strangely attractive.
He’s squinting at his screen, it makes you laugh. He chats up all the girls in office and goes around smoothly. He’s cheerful and hopeful and genuinely sweet. He’s the guy you try to get eye contact with, but he’s busy averting his eyes or guiltily smiling at someone else. He’s so easy to have a flirtatious chat with and then walk away. He’s too smug for you and yet so attractive in a geeky way.
Oh, how I can stare in those eyes. How I can watch him dance, move or just walk for that matter. He moves with elegance and a flexibility that far outdoes mine. He’s most definitely one of the most beautiful non-professional or trained dancers I have ever seen.
And then that voice.
He got me silent and in awe. I always kind of knew I liked him, that I was sort of mesmerized with him. I always knew I’d watch anything with him in it and that I would pay attention. I would even make an effort to catch any opportunity to see him work. Why I never made an effort to memorize his name, I honestly don’t know.
The thought of things and him, the things that make butterflies emerge in my stomach, makes me feel weird and awkward and embarrassed. I don’t think I can shed one word about my dreams and my fantasies. If I would try, it would probably eat me and reduce me to hide in a dark corner trying to get those images out of my head. Bad girl. Bad stupid girl for tying that man up in situations you should not be thinking of.
Yesterday I spend a good deal of my time staring at several AR-pictures. From young to older; I really don’t want to call him old, because I don’t think he’s really old yet. In my opinion you’re only old when you’re 90, and he’s not that yet.
Screaming like hell!!! Yes, at my screen. Yes at my screen. Like I laugh out loud at jokes written on a forum. Yes, I did scream silently inside.
It’s funny to see how the communities take over the allergies of their idols. It’s also funny how many communities have pet names for their idols. Makes it hard to take them seriously, but seriously, being a fangirl is hard work.
It only takes a few words, or an acknowledgement, or just only a commitment. You can love a man for only that, even when he’s abusive.
I’m trying to put his definition in words. I still have to learn to leave it. I haven’t found any word fitting him, and I keep failing in constructing the sentence that explains him. He’s so much more than that gentle voice and those sweet words. He’s more than the hand gestures telling you to sit down and calm. His depth is spinning around in contradiction. He’s a paradox there to confuse you, or help you for that matter.
P-IC
That’s my title for my satirical comedy show. It stands for Politically InCorrect. In it I will challenge people to think by taking current problems, like cuts every single country seems to be dealing with, and explaining it in such way it becomes questionable. Most of the explanations will take on an absurd turn. Maybe doesn’t sound too exciting since a lot of the reasoning behind political decisions are questionable and often do lead to absurdity. It’s not even an idea, rather something I want to see. You know, something like an after diner with ‘the Day Today’ and ‘Brass Eye’ as the main course.
What’s smart about the title is that when you pronounce it as an acronym, it will say ‘P, I see’. I don’t know what the ‘P’ would stand for, maybe simply ‘Politics’. So my show would be named ‘Politics, I see’. Sort of a cue for people to run away while they still can.
Politically I
Evolution and politics don’t seem to go together very well.
Revolution seems to mean turning from Mother Nature’s laws to make up our own.
Why are we so hot on being weird, or normal for that matter? Why doesn’t everybody just try to be the best they can, be it being weird or normal?
I don’t agree: http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130324141810-1714080-why-weirdos-outperform-normals?ref=email
What’s the matter with people in general? Or is it just me?
Here’s a little piece I wrote yesterday in bed:
Life seemed to have really started. My quarter life crisis or my last chance of youth has now really evaporated. We're all slowly coming to terms with life.
In 2000 we started to walk, we tried to run and then fell flat on our face. We are now getting back up, straightening or backs, broken bones and blue spots representing or failures, mistakes, lessons learned and some life experience.
We are ready now, to take over the weight.
Dedicated to my own generation; to my "heroes", or fellow sufferers.
Now I have to do it all on my own and I turn out to be weaker than I thought. I’m not doing bad, but I’m not doing as well as I thought it would do, or actually, I had no clue about how heavy it would weigh on me. I never thought of how I would deal with it, I would see whenever the situation was there. Now the situation is there and I need to do certain things. Some of them I don’t, because I’m an idiot, and others I did do or do, because it’s really necessary to survive or because it’s simple and I know how to deal with it.
The house still stands. It’s even fairly clean. The cats are still alive and fairly happy and healthy. I’m still alive and not stumbling too badly. Still, I know I can do better. You may ask, why not start already? Well, 1) because I’m lazy, 2) because I’m too shy and scared of people to ask for help. That’s pretty much it.
This is not a complaint, not really. It’s just something that I found out and bugs me a little.
In an article a man explained he couldn’t understand why people would want to work less than 40 hours a week. He extracted his identity from his work, his usefulness and purpose.
This morning in a paper I saw a young lady saying she wasn’t alive to be a wall flower. She’s a tv-presenter who’s battling a chronic illness.
They’re both doing things to fullfill a certain purpose, or so they say.
It’s a form of running away. Or it’s a form of denial. I’m denying real life, with real responsibilities, with real people and with real decisions to be taken. I’m running away from the daily humdrum, frantically, or should that be fanatically?
That is what fandom is to me; a safe haven. I know fandom like the inside of my pockets (some route descriptions to restaurants and business centres and 5 strepsils and a lighter). It doesn’t even matter on what or who fandom focuses, I have hung my hat there.
For some reason I’m more often than not, utterly confused why a certain person fascinates me? It started with Jake; attractive, not the smartest person, not the most talented person either and not my type. What the hell!? Feel a bit the same about Brent Spiner, though I never thought he was attractive, except for the easter egg that now has been removed from Youtube, in which he performs Shakespeare dressed as Data. I was disarmed by his boyish charm and shameless flirting. However, when I hear him talk, nnnot so much, except when he’s playing Data. What happens when he plays Lore? I love Data and I know why. When he’s playing Lore, Data’s older evil android brother, the fascination returns. It’s something about him that keeps me captivated and I hate it.
Fandom Should be a Wild Goose Chase
The spice of Fandom lies in what you can get, in who you can annoy and in how many times you can get arrested for stalking. The excitement lies in the chase, a wild goose chase, if you like.
I think I can call myself an expert in this particular subject. I have quite a bit of experience in different fields. I’ve done the chase for autographs, rare items and rare signed items. I’ve done annoying people with my extensive knowledge of my victims. I’ve been fighting for my right to stalk and pulled many a newb down with me. I’ve been kicking against shins and trodding on toes challenging the fan establishment for a place on the ranks among the best of fan mongers. I am proud of what I achieved.
Therefore, I suggest you listen to what I have to say about fandom.
Of course I could keep yapping on about Brent Spiner, as I will, like I’ve done with Jake, Alexander and Jason. I did say that I wanted to bring more variety to my blog, and if I keep yapping on about Spiner, the variety soon disappears. There’s a lot to say about Spiner, but in the end only so much.
I already pointed you towards his website and his album. There is one more album and a collection of Star Trek clips in which he sings. Go google or youtube yourself.
If only he was not that and could not that, I could move on.
The sky is a dark blue with black marks. I can see it through my barred window. Or it is the ceiling or floor, I’m not sure.
Would it finally happen, my interest in politics?
I’ve never been very interested in politics. I always found it exhausting and disappointing, let alone boring. Especially the last couple of years. I do recognize how politics and society go together, influence each other. I understand how both are the writers of history.
I’m starting to understand more and more how traits of one person can have such a great influence on history, or how the lack of power can also break one person down.
Noah (one of my favourite self made up characters)
Secrets lay in his eyes. A gentle smile plays around his lips. I know well he knows me well. Softly spoken and yet so audible. He speaks my heart and calms my nerves. Like a rain coat in a storm. I hide around him.
Women Rule the World
Not much has changed; the dandy’s are still circling around a choice kiddie girl trying to get into her pants. Maybe a few things have changed around here; the women no longer wear skirts and suspenders to match and the dandy’s don’t take off their hats anymore. Not much has changed though. People are still fooled to think money and power is all they need. Love is equal to sex and visa versa. And since Robin Hood is no more no-one raises a hand for us poor buggers. The only thing they’d do to help themselves is offer their body up for sale. Education is overrated; love wears blusher, eyeliner and too tight jeans. And somehow we always seem to be out of money.
Between Good and Right Interests flew right over her head. Surely, it couldn’t be so incomprehensible.
Cleo stared out of the window at the dark blue sky. The evening had fallen sooner than she expected or hoped for. She needed the light. In silence she cursed the year for breaking into autumn once again. It was too cold for her mood and with autumn progressing into winter Cleo felt like her own light was fading too. She couldn’t wait for the new year and for spring to come again. That sounded as much a distant future as retiring did.
Her eyes stared dead into the dark void while she mused about what to cook. The only thing she really wanted to do was curl up in a warm bed and watch TV; mindless entertainment to put her thoughts off things.
The sky is grey; it reminds me of the day before running through the pouring rain. Even though it only took 5 minutes to run from the bus stop to the entrance of my building, I was soaking wet and cold to the bone when I opened my front door. The house was dark and empty; a situation that set in about one year prior. The silence inside reminds me of the strange year that lay almost behind me. It reminded me of the year to come. This melancholy feeling follows me around a lot, especially when at work. I try to spread my work and the moments of quiet contemplation over eight hours. The balance between the two has been absent for the last year. There were days we could hardly have a break and take a breath. Though, most of the days I spent leaning with my elbows on the table and googling several subjects from how to sort words in an excel sheet to the going on’s of my favourite artists.
It’s been like this for nearly a year. A strange year, to say the least. A year in which I started to understand how my broken social contacts from the past have their roots in even a further past. A past I hardly know anything about.
In the past I used to be very positive about adoption, to some extent. I do remember saying once I wasn’t sure it really worked out.
When All Falls Through
“I’m not gonna wait with you, my bus is coming,” he says. Hesitantly he looks at the lonely figure hugging herself to stay warm.
She answers: “Yeah,” while an involuntary shiver ragged her body. Her hat scarcely covered the tears. Her shawl hid only just her trembling lips. Why did she have to fall for a married man?
He knows too. He’s still standing there staring at her. There’s no way he was going to take her in his arms. He should walk away, now.
I love him so much it makes me want to punch his face in, but then again…. I hate myself for loving him so much and for thinking about him way too much. I am drowning in my own inability to stop the floods. I should have stepped up years ago, but what did I know?
Auburn August
She had auburn hair and the ability to make you forget. Though I never forgot about those eyes, shaped like she was forever squinting and hazel or something of green. The most I knew about her was her waving hair.
She stood tall and wise; almost unforgivably beautiful.
What a Male (About or inspired by Alan Rickman)
He is one of these people you’re unconsciously staring at in awe. It’s not that he’s that pretty; he’s not ugly, but his face wouldn’t end up in the classic pretty faces book. He has a more secretive beauty about him. His attractiveness comes from something different than his face. Even at age 64, he’s intriguingly attractive.
He usually sits quietly in a corner watching everybody being too loud. You hardly notice him till he makes his sarcastic, funny remark. Everybody laughs, you included. You think you’re the only one who notices him. That’s not true, because the poppy chick is talking to him too. She’s laughing way too loud, because he’s so smart and funny and the boss likes him a lot. You see him squirm a little; he’s trying to get away. He seems genuinely scared of her and you feel for him. In spite of all his awkwardness he’s strangely attractive.
He’s squinting at his screen, it makes you laugh. He chats up all the girls in office and goes around smoothly. He’s cheerful and hopeful and genuinely sweet. He’s the guy you try to get eye contact with, but he’s busy averting his eyes or guiltily smiling at someone else. He’s so easy to have a flirtatious chat with and then walk away. He’s too smug for you and yet so attractive in a geeky way.
Oh, how I can stare in those eyes. How I can watch him dance, move or just walk for that matter. He moves with elegance and a flexibility that far outdoes mine. He’s most definitely one of the most beautiful non-professional or trained dancers I have ever seen.
And then that voice.
He got me silent and in awe. I always kind of knew I liked him, that I was sort of mesmerized with him. I always knew I’d watch anything with him in it and that I would pay attention. I would even make an effort to catch any opportunity to see him work. Why I never made an effort to memorize his name, I honestly don’t know.
The thought of things and him, the things that make butterflies emerge in my stomach, makes me feel weird and awkward and embarrassed. I don’t think I can shed one word about my dreams and my fantasies. If I would try, it would probably eat me and reduce me to hide in a dark corner trying to get those images out of my head. Bad girl. Bad stupid girl for tying that man up in situations you should not be thinking of.
Yesterday I spend a good deal of my time staring at several AR-pictures. From young to older; I really don’t want to call him old, because I don’t think he’s really old yet. In my opinion you’re only old when you’re 90, and he’s not that yet.
Screaming like hell!!! Yes, at my screen. Yes at my screen. Like I laugh out loud at jokes written on a forum. Yes, I did scream silently inside.
It’s funny to see how the communities take over the allergies of their idols. It’s also funny how many communities have pet names for their idols. Makes it hard to take them seriously, but seriously, being a fangirl is hard work.
It only takes a few words, or an acknowledgement, or just only a commitment. You can love a man for only that, even when he’s abusive.
I’m trying to put his definition in words. I still have to learn to leave it. I haven’t found any word fitting him, and I keep failing in constructing the sentence that explains him. He’s so much more than that gentle voice and those sweet words. He’s more than the hand gestures telling you to sit down and calm. His depth is spinning around in contradiction. He’s a paradox there to confuse you, or help you for that matter.
P-IC
That’s my title for my satirical comedy show. It stands for Politically InCorrect. In it I will challenge people to think by taking current problems, like cuts every single country seems to be dealing with, and explaining it in such way it becomes questionable. Most of the explanations will take on an absurd turn. Maybe doesn’t sound too exciting since a lot of the reasoning behind political decisions are questionable and often do lead to absurdity. It’s not even an idea, rather something I want to see. You know, something like an after diner with ‘the Day Today’ and ‘Brass Eye’ as the main course.
What’s smart about the title is that when you pronounce it as an acronym, it will say ‘P, I see’. I don’t know what the ‘P’ would stand for, maybe simply ‘Politics’. So my show would be named ‘Politics, I see’. Sort of a cue for people to run away while they still can.
Politically I
Evolution and politics don’t seem to go together very well.
Revolution seems to mean turning from Mother Nature’s laws to make up our own.
Why are we so hot on being weird, or normal for that matter? Why doesn’t everybody just try to be the best they can, be it being weird or normal?
I don’t agree: http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130324141810-1714080-why-weirdos-outperform-normals?ref=email
What’s the matter with people in general? Or is it just me?
Here’s a little piece I wrote yesterday in bed:
Life seemed to have really started. My quarter life crisis or my last chance of youth has now really evaporated. We're all slowly coming to terms with life.
In 2000 we started to walk, we tried to run and then fell flat on our face. We are now getting back up, straightening or backs, broken bones and blue spots representing or failures, mistakes, lessons learned and some life experience.
We are ready now, to take over the weight.
Dedicated to my own generation; to my "heroes", or fellow sufferers.
Quite obviously, I’m not spelling- or grammar police. However, writing words double, in the wrong order or not at all can confuse me utterly.
It turns out, I’m not as strong as I always thought I was. I suppose what I could do was being flexible with situations. What did I know? I was brought into the situation and then grew into it. It wasn’t a big deal, not for me. Probably also because it wasn’t me who carried the load on my shoulders, my mom was. I never had financial problems, my mom did and we knew better than expecting the most expensive stuff.
Now I have to do it all on my own and I turn out to be weaker than I thought. I’m not doing bad, but I’m not doing as well as I thought it would do, or actually, I had no clue about how heavy it would weigh on me. I never thought of how I would deal with it, I would see whenever the situation was there. Now the situation is there and I need to do certain things. Some of them I don’t, because I’m an idiot, and others I did do or do, because it’s really necessary to survive or because it’s simple and I know how to deal with it.
The house still stands. It’s even fairly clean. The cats are still alive and fairly happy and healthy. I’m still alive and not stumbling too badly. Still, I know I can do better. You may ask, why not start already? Well, 1) because I’m lazy, 2) because I’m too shy and scared of people to ask for help. That’s pretty much it.
This is not a complaint, not really. It’s just something that I found out and bugs me a little.
This morning in a paper I saw a young lady saying she wasn’t alive to be a wall flower. She’s a tv-presenter who’s battling a chronic illness.
They’re both doing things to fullfill a certain purpose, or so they say.
It’s a form of running away. Or it’s a form of denial. I’m denying real life, with real responsibilities, with real people and with real decisions to be taken. I’m running away from the daily humdrum, frantically, or should that be fanatically?
That is what fandom is to me; a safe haven. I know fandom like the inside of my pockets (some route descriptions to restaurants and business centres and 5 strepsils and a lighter). It doesn’t even matter on what or who fandom focuses, I have hung my hat there.
For some reason I’m more often than not, utterly confused why a certain person fascinates me? It started with Jake; attractive, not the smartest person, not the most talented person either and not my type. What the hell!? Feel a bit the same about Brent Spiner, though I never thought he was attractive, except for the easter egg that now has been removed from Youtube, in which he performs Shakespeare dressed as Data. I was disarmed by his boyish charm and shameless flirting. However, when I hear him talk, nnnot so much, except when he’s playing Data. What happens when he plays Lore? I love Data and I know why. When he’s playing Lore, Data’s older evil android brother, the fascination returns. It’s something about him that keeps me captivated and I hate it.
Fandom Should be a Wild Goose Chase
The spice of Fandom lies in what you can get, in who you can annoy and in how many times you can get arrested for stalking. The excitement lies in the chase, a wild goose chase, if you like.
I think I can call myself an expert in this particular subject. I have quite a bit of experience in different fields. I’ve done the chase for autographs, rare items and rare signed items. I’ve done annoying people with my extensive knowledge of my victims. I’ve been fighting for my right to stalk and pulled many a newb down with me. I’ve been kicking against shins and trodding on toes challenging the fan establishment for a place on the ranks among the best of fan mongers. I am proud of what I achieved.
Therefore, I suggest you listen to what I have to say about fandom.
Of course I could keep yapping on about Brent Spiner, as I will, like I’ve done with Jake, Alexander and Jason. I did say that I wanted to bring more variety to my blog, and if I keep yapping on about Spiner, the variety soon disappears. There’s a lot to say about Spiner, but in the end only so much.
I already pointed you towards his website and his album. There is one more album and a collection of Star Trek clips in which he sings. Go google or youtube yourself.
If only he was not that and could not that, I could move on.
The sky is a dark blue with black marks. I can see it through my barred window. Or it is the ceiling or floor, I’m not sure.
Would it finally happen, my interest in politics?
I’ve never been very interested in politics. I always found it exhausting and disappointing, let alone boring. Especially the last couple of years. I do recognize how politics and society go together, influence each other. I understand how both are the writers of history.
I’m starting to understand more and more how traits of one person can have such a great influence on history, or how the lack of power can also break one person down.
Anja and America's Gun Problem
I was stupid enough to read some arguments for and against guns. Now I feel the need to join the discussion.
First of, let me make my position clear first: “I’m against guns, but I do understand why certain people feel the need to have one…Though in some cases, I’m not sure it’s justified.”
Here’s the source that got me going: http://gunssavelives.net/blog/sci-fi...l-on-twitter/#
First of all, it’s not the guns that save lifes, it’s the people and usually, not the people who are holding the guns. I do understand a gun can help to keep a situation under control. The point is the gun is used when that control fades or when the person holding the gun thinks the control fades. In other words, the gun is controlled by a human who might make an interpretation error. And when the error is made and the trigger is pulled and the victim is hit, there’s no way back. That’s why it’s scary. Anything can set off a horrifying scene.
A Tweet from Adam Baldwin (@AdamBaldwin):
So, what do you mean, “…the gun is the greatest tool of peace ever inventented.”?
I see the gun problem partly as a tool problem and partly as a social and maybe even cultural problem. You can’t solve that by banning guns, you can’t solve it by not banning guns. What’s needed, I think, is a change of culture, a change of social behaviour and a change of heart. That takes time. The first step would be a first, mild regulation of gun owning. Over time the regulations should become stricter as people get used to the new situation. In the meantime reasons for owning a gun should be reduced, remedied, or taken the edge of. Also that will take a lot of time. But let’s start with not granting gunners the attention for their destructive behaviour.
Not too long ago, when there was a shoutout in Germany, experts were asked what to do to reduce the chances of repeat dramas. The answer was: “First of all, the press should not make it that big a deal. The shooters are discussed like heroes. After all, negative attention is still attention.”
So, the attention should go out to them, because there’s something terribly wrong in their life. Screaming and yelling at them won’t help. Shutting them out won’t help. I’m no expert, but I do know that negative behaviour causes negative reactions while positive behaviour is more likely being met with a positive and friendly response. In that vein, when you’re holding a gun you’re more likely to get a negative reaction (and very possibly being shot at) then when you’re holding flowers.
There is just no reason big and fullfilling enough that convinces me owning a gun is a good thing.
So what would I do if someone points a gun at me? I would not pull my own gun for two reasons: 1) I don’t have a gun and 2) The gunner would probably shoot me before I can shoot him. And even if I manage to shoot him, what does that solve? He’s dead and I will go to jail. Great! (Yeah, I know, it was self-defense, but who says my judge will have a good day? And there’s also something called my conscience.)
And…Why is he holding me at gun point? Because he’s trying to mug me? Why is he trying to mug me? Because he wants my phone? Why does he want my phone? Because he wants to make easy money? Why doesn’t he earn his money like any honest-to-good people? Because it’s slow and tedious? So? I’m doing it? Because he’s a mug who wants his friends to think he’s cool? What’s so cool about being a selfish ass? And who’s fault is that? Ah, parents and society.
Let’s start at the start for a change.
I’m sure I’m forgetting about some mindblowing reason to own a gun, if such thing exists, but please feel free to point it out…or agree for that matter.
First of, let me make my position clear first: “I’m against guns, but I do understand why certain people feel the need to have one…Though in some cases, I’m not sure it’s justified.”
Here’s the source that got me going: http://gunssavelives.net/blog/sci-fi...l-on-twitter/#
First of all, it’s not the guns that save lifes, it’s the people and usually, not the people who are holding the guns. I do understand a gun can help to keep a situation under control. The point is the gun is used when that control fades or when the person holding the gun thinks the control fades. In other words, the gun is controlled by a human who might make an interpretation error. And when the error is made and the trigger is pulled and the victim is hit, there’s no way back. That’s why it’s scary. Anything can set off a horrifying scene.
A Tweet from Adam Baldwin (@AdamBaldwin):
“Hi @BrentSpiner: In fact, the gun is the greatest tool of peace ever inventented.It is the great equalizer between individual Liberty & Tyranny.”I really don’t see how that works. Let me give you the definition of peace first:
“Peace is a sign of harmony characterized by the lack of violence, conflict behaviors and the freedom from fear of violence.”See, a gun usually results in the opposite. Presence of a gun means a bigger potential for violence and a certain conflict in behaviors. It also limits the freedom of the person who the gun is pointed at or even when the gun is in its holster and people know. Also, the apparent need gun owners say they’re feeling indicates fear. And obviously, the none gun owners feel fear too since so many shoot outs are happening lately.
So, what do you mean, “…the gun is the greatest tool of peace ever inventented.”?
I see the gun problem partly as a tool problem and partly as a social and maybe even cultural problem. You can’t solve that by banning guns, you can’t solve it by not banning guns. What’s needed, I think, is a change of culture, a change of social behaviour and a change of heart. That takes time. The first step would be a first, mild regulation of gun owning. Over time the regulations should become stricter as people get used to the new situation. In the meantime reasons for owning a gun should be reduced, remedied, or taken the edge of. Also that will take a lot of time. But let’s start with not granting gunners the attention for their destructive behaviour.
Not too long ago, when there was a shoutout in Germany, experts were asked what to do to reduce the chances of repeat dramas. The answer was: “First of all, the press should not make it that big a deal. The shooters are discussed like heroes. After all, negative attention is still attention.”
So, the attention should go out to them, because there’s something terribly wrong in their life. Screaming and yelling at them won’t help. Shutting them out won’t help. I’m no expert, but I do know that negative behaviour causes negative reactions while positive behaviour is more likely being met with a positive and friendly response. In that vein, when you’re holding a gun you’re more likely to get a negative reaction (and very possibly being shot at) then when you’re holding flowers.
There is just no reason big and fullfilling enough that convinces me owning a gun is a good thing.
So what would I do if someone points a gun at me? I would not pull my own gun for two reasons: 1) I don’t have a gun and 2) The gunner would probably shoot me before I can shoot him. And even if I manage to shoot him, what does that solve? He’s dead and I will go to jail. Great! (Yeah, I know, it was self-defense, but who says my judge will have a good day? And there’s also something called my conscience.)
And…Why is he holding me at gun point? Because he’s trying to mug me? Why is he trying to mug me? Because he wants my phone? Why does he want my phone? Because he wants to make easy money? Why doesn’t he earn his money like any honest-to-good people? Because it’s slow and tedious? So? I’m doing it? Because he’s a mug who wants his friends to think he’s cool? What’s so cool about being a selfish ass? And who’s fault is that? Ah, parents and society.
Let’s start at the start for a change.
I’m sure I’m forgetting about some mindblowing reason to own a gun, if such thing exists, but please feel free to point it out…or agree for that matter.
Brent and America's Gun Problem
During this whole saga I kept from commenting, because 1) I'm not well enough informed to join the discussion, 2) I didn't want to comment about guns to Brent, mainly because I agree with him and 3) I do not want to discuss this subject on Twitter. In the end Brent used another functionality of Twitter (Twitlonger) to elaborate about his thoughts about gun owning and gun regulation. I wish he had done that in the first place instead of taking it to regular Twitter. You can not construct a sound and complete opinion on the guns problems in 140 characters, as Brent effectively demonstrated. He was attacked by pro-gunners, to some extend rightfully so, in the most absurd and scary ways. If he just wanted to bring out what is so scary about pro-gunners, he succeeded. So it was good for something...hopefully.
Anyway, I copied a piece of dialog from a forum about his debating skills. The reason is, this gives another rare inside into Brent.
Christmas Tree:
Housewives:
Source: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024014870
Here's Brent's thoughts on Twitlonger: http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rre9mn
Anyway, I copied a piece of dialog from a forum about his debating skills. The reason is, this gives another rare inside into Brent.
Christmas Tree:
“And the people “debating” with him-do they really want to do that? Chances are he’d wipe the floor clean with them. I remember hearing stories about him when I was a debater. TNG was on the air and everyone was talking about him. Turns out he’s a legend in the NFL. (National Forensics League)”Housewives:
“In the forensics league? I’ve never heard that. I have heard, and also surmised by what I have heard and read from the man himself, that he is extremely intelligent. He is also very progressive politically. Heard he used to be a big hippie back in the 60’s and protested Vietnam. I have no idea why I am rambling.”Christmas Tree:
“back in the day. Supposedly the man was a powerhouse of knowledge and had a golden tongue, though the event that he killed at nationals was actually DI. (dramatic interp) My coach said something about how, even though he was in events and not debate, he seemed extremely knowledgeable about the debate topics and seemed more than able to hold his own in extemp at the national level.”
Housewives:
“Thanks for sharing!! ”Christmas Tree (or xmas74):
“My coach remembered him because he was also competing in the same event. I think he said that was the same year Shelley Long was also at nationals but for a different event.”Housewives (or Tree-Hugger):
“I went all nerd and googled it. I found this:
http://www.pointloma.edu/experience/academics/schools-departments/department-communication-theatre/faculty/skip-rutledge/famous-folks-who-did-forensics
It says;
"Brent Mintz won Dramatic Interp with a selection from Elia Kazan's AMERICA, AMERICA competing for Bellaire High School in Houston, TX, in 1967. He went on to fame as Brent Spiner, a.k.a. "Data" on "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and numerous other TV and movie roles."
Pretty cool.”
Source: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024014870
Here's Brent's thoughts on Twitlonger: http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rre9mn
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Job Vacancy
With a certain android in mind, this vacancy is very interesting and a bit funny:
Dear Anja,
I'm helping my colleague Anonymous Recruiter look for a Data Consultant.
Desired skills:
- Data Governance
- Data Modelling
- Datamining
- Master Data Management
- Logical and dimensional modelling
- Meta Data
- Sharepoint
- Database Management
- Data Architecture
- Datawarehouse Architecture/ Business Intelligence
- Teradata
- Helicopter view
Start date: asap
Length of the project: minimum 3 months, with extension opportunities
Location: South Holland
Dear Anja,
I'm helping my colleague Anonymous Recruiter look for a Data Consultant.
Desired skills:
- Data Governance
- Data Modelling
- Datamining
- Master Data Management
- Logical and dimensional modelling
- Meta Data
- Sharepoint
- Database Management
- Data Architecture
- Datawarehouse Architecture/ Business Intelligence
- Teradata
- Helicopter view
Start date: asap
Length of the project: minimum 3 months, with extension opportunities
Location: South Holland
November Blues
There’s not much I want to say. Inspiration always seems to dry when the sun hides behind clouds and on the south side of the world. Still trying to meet my quotum; it shouldn’t take too much effort. Here are my efforts from last week. All separate pieces, not related, not even that interesting.
A while back, when I delved deeper into my Star Trek-dom, I noticed some of the actors started directing episodes. Being slightly curious I checked who did. I remember Patrick Stewart saying that Brent never had an interest in directing. Later I read the reason from the horses mouth. Brent said he never even thought of directing, because it takes a lot of energy to do that and he was only able to give small bursts of energy, only just enough for the acting. I understand that so well.
Today at work, a colleague who is the chairman of his own house owners union, was very tired because he had a meeting yesterday. He was telling us about the problems they were having. Then asked me if I was in the board of my union, to which I had to reply: “No”. The next question was: “Why not?” You can guess my answer.
If, in an impulsive action, I become a member of the board, I know how that’s going to go. I would put in the effort when sitting at the table. I would slouch when at home while I’m supposed to do things. I would do them at the last minute and I would do them only half. The intentions are there, the want nor the energy is however. Though I know I should. I know I don’t really have an excuse.
In this year of celebration, specifically Doctor Who 50th anniversary celebration, I have not said much about the good Doctor. I’ve been pacing myself. I feared I could not handle the suspension. I decided to not watch too much DW, because I might get impatient. It’s Whovember now, and I got impatient. Good news is, only two weeks wait till the Day of the Doctor.
For some reason, my colleagues are very sensitive to my well being…or something. In the last couple of weeks I’ve been asked several times if I’m all right. Sure, I have the yearly fall-exhaustion attack, but compared to other years, I feel pretty ok. It could have been worse.
Do I look so bad, lately? My energy levels have always alternated between average and low with the peek somewhere in early spring. I don’t think I’ve been behaving, nor looking that much worse, have I, do I? Yeah, sure, I assigned myself to a diet again and yes, I am doing some damage control in my private life. But still, it’s not that bad.
I think 2013 was out to confuse me, because I seem to be confused a lot this year. Confused about Jake at the start of the year. Confused about the royal family in the late 19th century. Confused about Star Trek and Brent in particular. Confused about my work, my private life, my colleagues and how my well being is perceived. Am I missing something?
What is next? I’m in the fade out period of my Brent interest. What will 2014 bring? I suspect interesting challenges and oppertunities on the job front and further failing of my private life.
What will 2014 bring?
A while back, when I delved deeper into my Star Trek-dom, I noticed some of the actors started directing episodes. Being slightly curious I checked who did. I remember Patrick Stewart saying that Brent never had an interest in directing. Later I read the reason from the horses mouth. Brent said he never even thought of directing, because it takes a lot of energy to do that and he was only able to give small bursts of energy, only just enough for the acting. I understand that so well.
Today at work, a colleague who is the chairman of his own house owners union, was very tired because he had a meeting yesterday. He was telling us about the problems they were having. Then asked me if I was in the board of my union, to which I had to reply: “No”. The next question was: “Why not?” You can guess my answer.
If, in an impulsive action, I become a member of the board, I know how that’s going to go. I would put in the effort when sitting at the table. I would slouch when at home while I’m supposed to do things. I would do them at the last minute and I would do them only half. The intentions are there, the want nor the energy is however. Though I know I should. I know I don’t really have an excuse.
In this year of celebration, specifically Doctor Who 50th anniversary celebration, I have not said much about the good Doctor. I’ve been pacing myself. I feared I could not handle the suspension. I decided to not watch too much DW, because I might get impatient. It’s Whovember now, and I got impatient. Good news is, only two weeks wait till the Day of the Doctor.
For some reason, my colleagues are very sensitive to my well being…or something. In the last couple of weeks I’ve been asked several times if I’m all right. Sure, I have the yearly fall-exhaustion attack, but compared to other years, I feel pretty ok. It could have been worse.
Do I look so bad, lately? My energy levels have always alternated between average and low with the peek somewhere in early spring. I don’t think I’ve been behaving, nor looking that much worse, have I, do I? Yeah, sure, I assigned myself to a diet again and yes, I am doing some damage control in my private life. But still, it’s not that bad.
I think 2013 was out to confuse me, because I seem to be confused a lot this year. Confused about Jake at the start of the year. Confused about the royal family in the late 19th century. Confused about Star Trek and Brent in particular. Confused about my work, my private life, my colleagues and how my well being is perceived. Am I missing something?
What is next? I’m in the fade out period of my Brent interest. What will 2014 bring? I suspect interesting challenges and oppertunities on the job front and further failing of my private life.
What will 2014 bring?
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Overhearing Conversation
You probably all agree how annoying it is to be forcefully a listening party in a telephone conversation in some public place. Public transport, where there's no way of escape, amplifies the irritation when some woman is shouting down her mobile and your ear. What's been happening in Britland between some famous figures I might have written about before, is very much like this: Calling all comedians: stop writing tetchy open letters to each other
I must admit, I too was thinking, why don't you do this in the privacy of your own email or paper? Or do it over the phone, preferably not in public transport, but in the warm and cosy comfort of your own house. It's like being forcefully a fly on the wall. And just like the fly, I want to get out!!!
This reminds me of Twitter: When reading my Twitter feed, or rather, conversation between famous people, I feel like a fly on the wall bored to tears. So I usually skip through my feed and then return to my own personal, more interesting, and also more demanding life.
Anyway, so far for irritation today.
I must admit, I too was thinking, why don't you do this in the privacy of your own email or paper? Or do it over the phone, preferably not in public transport, but in the warm and cosy comfort of your own house. It's like being forcefully a fly on the wall. And just like the fly, I want to get out!!!
This reminds me of Twitter: When reading my Twitter feed, or rather, conversation between famous people, I feel like a fly on the wall bored to tears. So I usually skip through my feed and then return to my own personal, more interesting, and also more demanding life.
Anyway, so far for irritation today.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Boring Piece 2
For some reason, my colleagues are very sensitive to my well being…or something. In the last couple of weeks I’ve been asked several times if I’m all right. Sure, I have the yearly fall-exhaustion attack, but compared to other years, I feel pretty ok. It could have been worse.
Do I look so bad, lately? My energy levels have always alternated between average and low with the peek somewhere in early spring. I don’t think I’ve been behaving, nor looking that much worse, have I, do I? Yeah, sure, I assigned myself to a diet again and yes, I am doing some damage control in my private life. But still, it’s not that bad.
I think 2013 was out to confuse me, because I seem to be confused a lot this year. Confused about Jake at the start of the year. Confused about the royal family in the late 19th century. Confused about Star Trek and Brent in particular. Confused about my work, my private life, my colleagues and how my well being is perceived. Am I missing something?
What is next? I’m in the fade out period of my Brent interest. What will 2014 bring? I suspect interesting challenges and oppertunities on the job front and further failing of my private life.
What will 2014 bring?
Do I look so bad, lately? My energy levels have always alternated between average and low with the peek somewhere in early spring. I don’t think I’ve been behaving, nor looking that much worse, have I, do I? Yeah, sure, I assigned myself to a diet again and yes, I am doing some damage control in my private life. But still, it’s not that bad.
I think 2013 was out to confuse me, because I seem to be confused a lot this year. Confused about Jake at the start of the year. Confused about the royal family in the late 19th century. Confused about Star Trek and Brent in particular. Confused about my work, my private life, my colleagues and how my well being is perceived. Am I missing something?
What is next? I’m in the fade out period of my Brent interest. What will 2014 bring? I suspect interesting challenges and oppertunities on the job front and further failing of my private life.
What will 2014 bring?
Boring Piece 1
As a young girl, I used to read a lot.
My mum made sure we started going to a library from a young age on. With young, I mean really young; our first trip to the library would come at age three or four, right before we learnt to read. I used to be an avid reader, my younger brother was not. I remember my bedtime routine. Me and my brother went to bed at the same time every evening, some time around half past seven. My brother was talked and rocked to sleep by my mum while I got my book out to read for an hour. I can’t remember how many books I read, probably about one per week.
Then, when I was growing up, my interest in the written word moved from reading to writing. I’m sure at one point in my life I wrote more than I read. As a matter of fact, I hardly read anything. Later when the Internet was unlimited available to me, I started to read more again, on the Internet rather than in books. Now I’m back to reading books again, though most of those books are sci-fi books.
My mum made sure we started going to a library from a young age on. With young, I mean really young; our first trip to the library would come at age three or four, right before we learnt to read. I used to be an avid reader, my younger brother was not. I remember my bedtime routine. Me and my brother went to bed at the same time every evening, some time around half past seven. My brother was talked and rocked to sleep by my mum while I got my book out to read for an hour. I can’t remember how many books I read, probably about one per week.
Then, when I was growing up, my interest in the written word moved from reading to writing. I’m sure at one point in my life I wrote more than I read. As a matter of fact, I hardly read anything. Later when the Internet was unlimited available to me, I started to read more again, on the Internet rather than in books. Now I’m back to reading books again, though most of those books are sci-fi books.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Where I Work, Star Trekkie-ish
By the amount you here the words Data (data) and Q (queue) in my department, it gives a very Star Trekkie-...ish feel. It's almost like living in a Star Trek episode, especially the episode "Deja Q".
That gives me a very Deja Vu-ish feeling.
That gives me a very Deja Vu-ish feeling.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Keep Your Priorities Straight
Most important about fandom are the fans. It's true, else it would've been called "idoldom". Just a heads up, sort of: Becky Heineke: http://thebchannel.blogspot.nl/2013/09/no-offense-intended-jake-fanz.html?showComment=1382714732298
Alan or Brent?
I'm sure I posted this before as well, but I don't care, cause this my freakin' blog:
Reason why:
This pits Alan (Rickman) versus Brent (Spiner...obviously). This idea never even occurred to me. When I found it about a month ago, I was flabbergasted.
We've got an 'A' and a 'B' now, let's see if we've got the alphabet complete by now:
'C' for Colin (Baker)...
'D' for .....hmmm....can't think of anyone starting with 'D'...
footnote: there's a Snape versus Data as well.
Reason why:
This pits Alan (Rickman) versus Brent (Spiner...obviously). This idea never even occurred to me. When I found it about a month ago, I was flabbergasted.
We've got an 'A' and a 'B' now, let's see if we've got the alphabet complete by now:
'C' for Colin (Baker)...
'D' for .....hmmm....can't think of anyone starting with 'D'...
footnote: there's a Snape versus Data as well.
Data and data
The title of this post is not completely applicable, it just sounded nice.
First "Data". We're about three or four months into this fandom and I start to understand my own position in it. I'm almost just a bystander. I'm looking in from a distance. I'm sure Brent's fans are nice and sane women, but when I read how they talk about him...welll, it's a bit too much for me. I'm past that station. Also, I found out that I absolutely love "Data", not "Brent". Data is all sweet and innocent, everything that Brent is not. Not a bad thing, just an observation.
I'm sure I dished this one out before, but this is pretty much it: A fan about Brent at a convention:
Paraphrased: "When you see him sitting there behind his table, you know you've got Lore, not Data."
Onto the "data". It's not exactly the "data", it's more the system integration. And when you're talking about system integration, at some point you get to talk about the "data". I considered writing "Data" in every document, instead of "data", because it amused me. When putting this in action, I found out I actually never write "data", but rather the Dutch equivalent "gegevens". So I abondoned that resolution.
Quite a few rather big projects have started in my team or are about to start. I'm involved in a few of them. Actually, when it comes to writing the required designs for these projects, I'm probably going to be involved in most of these projects. Anyway, there's definately one big project that has been loaded onto my plate. I actually took the effort of setting up a whole project to do it. Something I haven't done since my internships for college.
I'm sure I wrote before, since my colleague is slowly moving towards a different function, I'm taking all the projects he used to do. My manager's and his faith in me is still a little nerve racking. However, I'm going to approach this something like I did my internships, then I should be all right.
Such a shame my energy reserves are the lowest at this point of the year. I need to take a break, not only to refuel, but also because I have too many hours left to spend on sparetime. If I don't take them this year, I'll lose them completely. I'm also planning to take a prolongued Christmas break. All of that I still have to ask permission for.
Still not up to post count for the day of the month, but I think I bored you enough for today.
One bone I'd like to throw out to you; another Star Trek Next Gen / Doctor Who crossover. Data and the TARDIS. How would their relationship develop since they are both machines in essence, but with a clear mind of their own?
First "Data". We're about three or four months into this fandom and I start to understand my own position in it. I'm almost just a bystander. I'm looking in from a distance. I'm sure Brent's fans are nice and sane women, but when I read how they talk about him...welll, it's a bit too much for me. I'm past that station. Also, I found out that I absolutely love "Data", not "Brent". Data is all sweet and innocent, everything that Brent is not. Not a bad thing, just an observation.
I'm sure I dished this one out before, but this is pretty much it: A fan about Brent at a convention:
Paraphrased: "When you see him sitting there behind his table, you know you've got Lore, not Data."
Onto the "data". It's not exactly the "data", it's more the system integration. And when you're talking about system integration, at some point you get to talk about the "data". I considered writing "Data" in every document, instead of "data", because it amused me. When putting this in action, I found out I actually never write "data", but rather the Dutch equivalent "gegevens". So I abondoned that resolution.
Quite a few rather big projects have started in my team or are about to start. I'm involved in a few of them. Actually, when it comes to writing the required designs for these projects, I'm probably going to be involved in most of these projects. Anyway, there's definately one big project that has been loaded onto my plate. I actually took the effort of setting up a whole project to do it. Something I haven't done since my internships for college.
I'm sure I wrote before, since my colleague is slowly moving towards a different function, I'm taking all the projects he used to do. My manager's and his faith in me is still a little nerve racking. However, I'm going to approach this something like I did my internships, then I should be all right.
Such a shame my energy reserves are the lowest at this point of the year. I need to take a break, not only to refuel, but also because I have too many hours left to spend on sparetime. If I don't take them this year, I'll lose them completely. I'm also planning to take a prolongued Christmas break. All of that I still have to ask permission for.
Still not up to post count for the day of the month, but I think I bored you enough for today.
One bone I'd like to throw out to you; another Star Trek Next Gen / Doctor Who crossover. Data and the TARDIS. How would their relationship develop since they are both machines in essence, but with a clear mind of their own?
Move On
Sometimes you just need a push in the back. Sometimes you just need the right words uttered at you. And sometimes you just have to get off your lazy backside and do something.
I’m still leaning heavily on “Sunday in the Park with George”. Especially on the song “Move on”, because in that song are the words I need. Now I only need to get off my lazy backside and do something.
A few phrases:
Stop worrying if your vision
Is new
Let others make that decision-
They usually do
You keep moving on
...
Look at what you've done,
Then at what you want,
Not at where you are,
What you'll be
I need to move on. Keep learning, keep developing, keep trying new avenues. Do where my heart sings to, no matter if it's new or not. I knew that already...Sometimes you just need to be reminded....
I can only apologies to myself, because it's only me holding back and standing still. Nobody else really cares or knows what I should do...
Here goes...
I’m still leaning heavily on “Sunday in the Park with George”. Especially on the song “Move on”, because in that song are the words I need. Now I only need to get off my lazy backside and do something.
A few phrases:
Stop worrying if your vision
Is new
Let others make that decision-
They usually do
You keep moving on
...
Look at what you've done,
Then at what you want,
Not at where you are,
What you'll be
I need to move on. Keep learning, keep developing, keep trying new avenues. Do where my heart sings to, no matter if it's new or not. I knew that already...Sometimes you just need to be reminded....
I can only apologies to myself, because it's only me holding back and standing still. Nobody else really cares or knows what I should do...
Here goes...
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
Attempt Reading Brent Tweets
Got nearly halfway through, then gave up. Not funny, not even mildly interesting.
This post is not funny either. I don't care. Thought I should say something about those tweets. Now I did I can move on.
....
Moving on.....
This post is not funny either. I don't care. Thought I should say something about those tweets. Now I did I can move on.
....
Moving on.....
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Brent Tweets
Something I wanted to read for a long time now, but since I've seen how long it went on, I'm not so sure anymore.
Also, I'm only posting it here, because it seemed funnier than emailing myself to remind myself. That might be, however, a dreadful error in judgement, since I'm also getting drunk right now. Anyway, here goes:
Brent's story begins on March 28, 2009.
I'm thinking of going into rehab. I'm not addicted to anything, but I think it's good way to jumpstart an acting career.
5:40 PM Mar 28th
I'm now writing from the Betty White Clinic. Group session. We have to say what we think is wrong with us. I'm saying, "bad agent".
11:34 AM Mar 29th
Watched "Family Guy" in the rec room with the other prisoners...er, patients. They seem to think I'd get more work if I was a cartoon.
9:15 PM Mar 29th
Looks like I'm not the only one here with this idea. I saw James Woods playing ping-pong last night.
9:18 AM Mar 30th
Had my first solo therapy session in the Allen Ludden, "Password" room. Cute therapist. Couldn't decide whether to give or receive.
10:45 AM Mar 30th
Thankfully, that session ended before the "lightening round". I'm going to take a nap now.
12:24 PM Mar 30th
Refused to take my pills. They put me in a straight jacket. Am typing this with my nose. Feel so goooooooood.
9:09 PM Mar 30th
Woke up in a fog and realized...Hey, they don't give pills in rehab! And they don't put you in straight jackets! Where am I? Helllllppppp!!!
9:04 AM Mar 31st
Not in rehab. Must've been dreaming. Told I've had a breakdown. In institution. Okay, should be good enough to get me on Oprah or The View.
9:30 AM Mar 31st
Thanks for all your good wishes. Apparently, my entire life since "Nemesis" has been a dream. Family, friends, everything. Got to get out.
3:56 PM Mar 31st
It's clear to me now. Nothing here is as I thought it was. Well, James Woods is still here playing ping-pong.
4:04 PM Mar 31st
Woods asked if I wanted to play. I was going to, then he said he didn't like "Nemesis". Not speaking to him. Or anyone else for that matter.
5:09 PM Mar 31st
Movie night here. "Girl Interrupted". Woods says he used to be married to Angelina. I don't believe him.
8:26 PM Mar 31st
Spent the morning in Crafts. Made something out of paper mache. It's either a pig or a fish. Hey maybe I could do this when I get out.
7:42 AM Apr 1st
Doc says I may get out in the next day or so. Suggest another shock treatment. Kind of enjoyed the last one. If I remember correctly.
8:51 AM Apr 1st
While I was catatonic, Patrick, bless him, came to visit. He read a selection of sonnets for the inmates. When he left, they were catatonic
4:44 PM Apr 1st
Unless it was an April Fool's joke, the doc says I get out tomorrow. I'm watching TNG with my friends here. "Schizoid Man". Apropos.
9:35 PM Apr 1st
Woods now making everyone watch, "Once Upon a Time in America". The long version. Everyone asleep but me. Hid my pills under my tongue.
9:52 PM Apr 1st
Doc now says next week. No way. Bribing a guard to get me out. He's a ST fan. Autographed photo and original Galoob action figure should do.
10:22 AM Apr 2nd
I keep few Galoobs handy for emergencies. This may require one with a spotted face. Guard says there will be a key in my pudding tonight.
11:27 AM Apr 2nd
Never looked forward to dinner as much as I am right now. For one thing, I'm soon going to be outta here. For anthoer, I'm oddly hungry.
3:42 PM Apr 2nd
For those who keep asking, here's how it works. Click on my picture and read a few back posts. Geez, don't I have enough to deal with?
3:50 PM Apr 2nd
Great. The chef is on twitter. He's a company man. He's onto me. No pudding tonight. I hope the key's not in the mashed potatoes.
5:01 PM Apr 2nd
No more tweets till I'm free. I'm breaking out of this joint. I'll update you from the other side. Hopefully on Entertainment Tonight.
5:09 PM Apr 2nd
Dissolved my pill stash in the guard's late night Bosco. Switched clothes with him. Literally strolled out of the joint. Free at last...
9:22 PM Apr 3rd
Hitchhiked to a gas station in Flagstaff. Enjoying a Dr. Pepper and a Slim Jim. Best meal in seven years. Hollywood, here I come.
9:35 PM Apr 3rd
Feeling a little sad. Lonely for the Betty White. Miss some of my friends. Toothless Ted, Cowgirl Clara, Brittany, well, everyone but Woods.
10:00 AM Apr 4th
Almost home. A beautiful day! Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. Ahhhh. Today is the first Monday of the rest of my life!
11:20 AM Apr 4th
Foreclosure sign on my house? Thought I was well invested. Calling my financial investor, Bernie. If I can borrow a quarter.
11:52 AM Apr 4th
No pay phones? Had to use a neighbor's. Chad from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Long distance. Had to give him action figure. Running out.
2:35 PM Apr 4th
The bad news: The market crashed, Bernie's in jail, and I'm broke. The good news: My agent has dropped me. Breakdowns aren't marketable.
3:18 PM Apr 4th
Don't worry folks. I'm not down. If there's one thing I learned in rehab...well, I didn't learn anything there. But I'm an eternal optimist.
3:32 PM Apr 4th
Called my friend Dave. He lent me enough for a month's rent at a transient hotil in Hollywood. Same place I stayed when I first came here.
8:08 PM Apr 4th
They say the room next door was where Joplin OD'd. Sorry to drop the name,@ Greggreenburg, whoever the hell you are.
8:09 PM Apr 4th
Obviously meant hotel. Not a bad place. At least I have company. A charming spider who hovers just above my pillow.
8:18 PM Apr 4th
Well, as Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day". And what better day than Tuesday to go looking for a new agent!
9:25 PM Apr 4th
Hey, today is Sunday! Why didn't anyone tell me??? I'll look for an agent tomorrow. I'll start with the ones who are in walking distance.
9:52 AM Apr 5th
Again, please don't think I'm despondent. I know something great is going to happen this week. May has always been a lucky month for me.
10:33 AM Apr 5th
A friend tells me my breakdown happened at a ST con. Got confused and thought I was my character. Stopped using contractions. Now I am fine.
1:31 PM Apr 5th
Interesting crowd at this hotel. Some at the beginning of their careers and some at the end. I am sort of both.
4:44 PM Apr 5th
Had a nice chat with a young actress at the pool. She says they're making a new Star Trek movie! See, things are looking up already!
7:37 PM Apr 5th
Colored my hair dark brown. Have to stay competitive when I go see agents. I have to say, took at least three years off.
7:57 AM Apr 6th
Recharged with a bag of donut holes and a cup of Ovaltine. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Watch out world, here I come!
9:28 AM Apr 6th
Was held up at gun point as I walked to agents. No money. Took my shirt. Went to agent without a shirt. Don't think he was impressed.
8:12 PM Apr 6th
He did tell me the new ST movie is already in the can. Guess I'm not in it. Directed by a Mr. Abraham or something. Try again tomorrow.
8:17 PM Apr 6th
Agent called. Wanted to know if I'd do Sci-fi porn. A film called "Live from Uranis". I guess the shirtless thing worked. Considering it.
1:58 PM Apr 7th
Could use the cash, but despite your encouragement, I passed. Like Data, too old for this job. Do they do Senior's porn, anyway?
3:21 PM Apr 7th
Going to see my first agent Monty Gold in the morning. Better have more nourishing breakfast. Chocolate donut holes. Lots of anti-oxidents.
7:03 PM Apr 7th
T.V. doesn't work here. Said they'd fix it yesterday. A few books others have left. Think I'll read, "Day of the Locust". Love nature books
7:15 PM Apr 7th
Monty is semi- retired but keeps an office and one toe in the business. Says he might have something interesting for me. Very exited.
10:44 AM Apr 8th
Pardon my speling. I meant excited.
10:48 AM Apr 8th
The walls here are paper thin. People next door are listening to "The Knife Show". Wow, you can get a thousand knives for a hundred bucks.
10:56 AM Apr 8th
Monty called. Wants to pay me to march in his grandson's Bar Mitzvah made up as Data. I don't know, I'm thinking about it.
6:45 PM Apr 8th
Yelling and crying from next door. Two women. Interesting character studies, but I prefer sleep. Might have to talk to them.
6:50 AM Apr 9th
Told Monty I'd wear the make-up but no uniform. Agreed to tallis and yarmulke. Asked Mike Westmore to make me up. Hopefully, he remembers.
11:06 AM Apr 9th
Told Monty I'd wear the make-up but no uniform. Agreed to tallis and yarmulke. Asked Mike Westmore to make me up. Hopefully, he remembers.
11:06 AM Apr 9th
Can't sleep. Someone left a Hagadah, so I'm reading that. Four questions. Fifth, no noise next door last night? Till now. Lots of yelling.
5:16 AM Apr 10th
This will be a good Friday. Monty sent advance to buy a suit. Suggested place called Zindler's. A $100 for a coat and ten pairs of pants.
6:51 AM Apr 10th
UPS came with a package for the woman next door. Asked if I could give it to her when she returned. It's from the Knife show. Gulp.
11:30 AM Apr 10th
Opened package. Couldn't resist. Not a thousand knives, just one big one. Gulp again. Gotta find some tape. Her name is Amber. Nice.
12:00 PM Apr 10th
Delivered retaped box. She opened the door a crack, snatched it, muttered"thanks", then slammed it. Noticed a face like an ice cream sundae.
7:36 AM Apr 11th
Don't think Amber recognized me. That's good. Seemed like a Southern twang in her terse two words. Redhead. Make that sundae, strawberry.
10:37 AM Apr 11th
Bought suit at Zindler's. Charcoal. Ten pairs of pants. All colors. Only one fits. Fortunately, the gray. Should go well with Data make-up.
11:49 AM Apr 11th
Rode the bus home. Sat next to a woman with a parrot. It kept saying, "Meshugenah! Meshugenah!". Didn't know whether it meant me or her.
1:18 PM Apr 11th
Easter. Staying in bed all day. Don't feel like rising.
6:17 AM Apr 12th
Got up to go get a paper. Box of Peeps and a note at the door. "Sorry for being so rude." Amber.
7:52 AM Apr 12th
Was about to go properly introduce myself when I heard more screaming next door. The good kind. Sort of exciting. I love Easter.
7:56 AM Apr 12th
Quiet now knocked on door. Nothing. Left note. " Come by later. I'm serving Ding Dongs.
1:32 PM Apr 12th
Guess she's not into chocolate enveloped devil's food with a cream filling. Ate them all myself. Went into coma. Woke up with Ding Dong face
6:25 AM Apr 13th
Message light blinking. "Meet me at Yamashiro. Sevenish." Hmm, I thought there was a look in her eye as she slammed the door in my face.
7:57 AM Apr 13th from web
I'm definitely going. I'll wear my Bar Mitzvah jacket. Having trouble deciding which pair of pants. Maybe the chartreuse.
11:52 AM Apr 13th
I'm reminded of a Hitchcock quote. "If you see a gun in the first act, it's bound to go off by act three." I wonder if that goes for knives?
2:04 PM Apr 13th
Okay, okay, Chekov. But Hitchcok must've read it. Got another call from the porno agent. Now they're offering a three picture deal.
2:11 PM Apr 13th
"Amber Jordan, nice name". "My real name's Amber Hamburger but I changed it when I decided to be an actress." "Good choice."
6:07 AM Apr 14th
Another woman joined us, Bobbette. Amber's girlfriend. They're going through a rough patch. Bobbette"s been seeing her husband again.
6:19 AM Apr 14th
BTW, I passed on the porno. You have to supply your own wardrobe, and mine is woefully lacking.
6:20 AM Apr 14th
Drank too much last night. Bobette paid. Married to a rich dinosaur. Invited to his swankienda for lunch tomorrow. Interesting girls.
10:58 AM Apr 14th
FYI They loved my chartreuse pants. I'll wear the orange one's to lunch. They didn't recognize me. Told them my name is Norman Maine.
11:29 AM Apr 14th
Bob (that's what Amber calls her) sent a limo for us. Feels like the good ol days. Met the dino. About eighty. A zillionaire. Now I get it.
2:06 PM Apr 15th
Harry Boik (I think it's Berk,really) wore a plaid 50's bathing suit at lunch by the pool. Said my pants were absoid. Look who's talking.
3:36 PM Apr 15th
The girls ran off and left Harry and me alone. Smoked some huge Cuban's. Said he bought a couple million pre-embargo. Think I like this guy.
3:40 PM Apr 15th
"What kinda woik do you do, Norm?" "I'm between engagements". "I need a driver. Interested?" "I'll let you know, Mr. Boik." "Call me Harry".
4:42 PM Apr 15th
Harry Berg. Came here in '49 with $35. Won sixty thou in a poker game. Opened talent agency. Sold it for 60 million. Self made man. Me like.
8:57 AM Apr 16th
Tested to see if he knew who I really am. "Harry, what do you think of this Star Trek thing?" "Feh!" Could be the start of something big.
9:01 AM Apr 16th
Jason Gold becomes a man tomorrow. Confirmed with Mike to meet me at Temple. Probably wear a yellowish shirt in case the make-up gets on it.
10:33 AM Apr 16th
Started exercising again. Gotta look good for the next phase. Swam width of the pool. Well, halfway. Twenty feet is longer than it looks.
12:23 PM Apr 16th
Amber swam by. Very happy. Got her first gig. Deodorant commercial. Just underarms but a start. She looks great in a bikini. Bob's lucky.
12:34 PM Apr 16th
Going out to celebrate with Amber and Bob. Feel I'm betraying Harry, but their schtick is really none of my business. Besides, I eat better.
5:01 PM Apr 16th
Guy came to our table for my autograph. A&B asked why. Told them I look just like an actor on ST. They've never seen it. It's all ironic.
10:38 PM Apr 16th
Great night for all. The antics next door literally shook the entire building. And I got to listen. Sometimes it's the little things.
8:56 AM Apr 17th
Mike made me up in the bathroom. Very embarrassing. I looked in mirror. Oy. In my suit I look like Jimmy Stewart in Greatest Show On Earth.
7:33 PM Apr 17th
An old cocker came out of a stall. He looked at me with a very quizzical look."What's that on your face, egg?" "Exactly".
7:35 PM Apr 17th
Marched with Jason and seven of his buddies. Heard a man say, "Big deal, we had Solo from the original series at my kid's Bar Mitzvah."
8:21 PM Apr 17th
The rabbi is a big ST fan. Sermon was about how you can go wrong in life. Like the way we did when we killed Data in Nemesis. Sheesh.
8:23 PM Apr 17th
I am feeling strange again. I do not know what is happening. Hailing frequencies...out.
8:24 PM Apr 17th
Last night: Posed for pictures with the family. Uncle Shelly refused to stand next to me. Rabbi asked could I get him tix to the new movie.
9:31 AM Apr 18th
Split a piece of herring w/Monty. Introduced me to his mentor, Harry Berg. Gulp. Harry: "You remind me of someone...are you PeeWee Herman?"
9:33 AM Apr 18th
Spent the day in fetal position. Amber came by. Wanted to know what was wrong. Told her I was just having a Viet Nam flashback. Hugged me.
2:33 PM Apr 18th
Woke up next to Amber. Sweet. Don't know what happened but she was wearing my tallis. Hope she doesn't tell Bob. No more Bar Mitzvah's.
10:29 AM Apr 19th
Went to Denny's with A&B. Don't think Amber said anything to Bob re:last night. Maybe nothing happened. But Amber keeps looking at me funny.
8:43 PM Apr 19th
I can't believe everything is so foggy. I must've drunk too much Mogan David at the Bar Mitzvah. I've got to confront Amber...tomorrow.
8:53 PM Apr 19th
"Amber, I just don't remember what happened last night. I hope I didn't do anything I should be sorry..." "No." She smiled enigmatically.
9:24 AM Apr 20th
"Off to my first job, Norman. I'm not really looking forward to it". "Hey, it's a foot in the door, Amber". "Well, an armpit, really."
10:10 AM Apr 20th
Inspired by Amber. Sometimes we just have to work, like it or not. Called Harry. Agreed to be his driver. Start tomorrow. I'll wear a hat.
10:49 AM Apr 20th
Concerned about Amber. Excited about her first job, then depressed. Seemed to be into Bob, now me. I don't know, maybe it's all in my mind.
11:16 AM Apr 20th
Decided to get away from it all and go to a movie. Going to see a classic, "Double Indemnity". Boy, they don't make 'em like that anymore.
5:20 PM Apr 20th
Close call. Milk dud stuck in my throat. Fortunately, usher knew the Heimlich. A big fan. Autographed a box of Junior Mints for him.
9:42 PM Apr 20th
"Mr. Spiner, wake up, it's time to take your pills" "No, nurse, I..." AHHH! I woke up in a cold sweat. Dreamed I was in the clinic. Whew!
8:35 AM Apr 21st
After the Milk Dud episode, restricting myself to liquids. Go next door to use Amber's blender. Make a donut shake. Gotta keep strength up.
9:34 AM Apr 21st
No answer. Door ajar. Peeked in. "Amber...?" She wont mind me using her blender. Besides, now I can add breaking and entering to my resume.
10:19 AM Apr 21st
Guess it's not really B&E. More like unlawful entry or trespassing. Whatever, it's sure to impress casting agents. I'll leave a note.
10:35 AM Apr 21st
Found paper. Writing on it. 1.Dispose of knife. 2. Dispose of body. 3. Clean area thoroughly. 4.Get fuschia highlights. My head is spinning.
10:51 AM Apr 21st
Amber's note has me freaked. Maybe she's writing a novel or something. Maybe. Called Harry. Postponed job till tomorrow. Too dizzy to drive.
11:01 AM Apr 21st
In the fetal position again. In the dark. I thought she was attracted to me. Should I be scared? Let me answer that question. I already am.
12:17 PM Apr 21st
Monty called. Has audition for a new show. No lines. Possibly recurring. Great. The walls are shaking again. Safe for tonight...I think.
10:31 PM Apr 21st
"Monty, what's the no line character's name?" "Let's see...uh, DEAD BODY." "And it recurs?" "That's what it says. You're perfect for it."
8:41 AM Apr 22nd
Audition tomorrow. Today, real job. Went to Army Surplus. Bought military hat w/visor. Looks good. Bus to Harry's. Should be there by noon.
9:41 AM Apr 22nd
Made it to Harry's a little early. He told me to get familiar with the car. 1958 Mercedes. Beauty. I'll should look great behind the wheel.
11:42 AM Apr 22nd
Drove Harry to his club. " Norm, you think I'm too old for Bobbette? I'm 81, she's 28." "Nah, Harry. Anything under sixty years is fine."
12:13 PM Apr 22nd
Harry burst into tears. "She used to love the sex. Ever since that damn Amber came into our lives, nothing! I think they want to kill me!"
12:40 PM Apr 22nd
Harry whimpered through a round of golf. Took him home. "Say something to make me feel better, Norm". "Could I have the day off tomorrow?"
1:40 PM Apr 22nd
Quiet next door. Thank God. Lying in bed. Working on my audition.
8:38 PM Apr 22nd
Knock at door. Amber. "Norman, I'm scared. Someone's been in my apt. I found this. (paper with the list). Can I stay with you tonight?"
8:58 PM Apr 22nd
"Norman,who could've left this strange note in my room?" "I don't know...'clean thoroughly'...maybe it was housekeeping." "Hold me." "Okay."
9:27 PM Apr 22nd
Amber looks like an angel when she sleeps. Maybe she didn't write the note. Maybe it was the maid. Folks, I'm just as confused as you are.
9:03 AM Apr 23rd
Kissed her gently so I wouldn't wake her. Crept out of the room to go to my audition. Hope she's here when I get back. Wonder where Bob is?
9:56 AM Apr 23rd
On the floor in the audition. Pretended to be dead. Tried to clear my mind of all thought. Images of Amber. Became aroused. Not good.
11:13 AM Apr 23rd
Called Monty for audition feedback. "You didn't get the part. They said you were not believable. That you were wooden." I have to agree.
12:12 PM Apr 23rd
Trying not to get discouraged about acting career. But, gee, I got turned down for the part of a dead body. What's next, inanimate objects?
2:14 PM Apr 23rd
Took a nap. Knock on the door. My heart leapt. " Hey bab..." It was Bob. "Norman, can I talk to you? I think Amber's seeing someone else"!"
9:25 PM Apr 23rd
"Why do you say that, Bob?" "She didn't answer her phone last night. She's been distant. There's someone else." "Nooo, I don't think...". Oy
9:40 PM Apr 23rd
I was finally able to reassure her. Sometimes I'm a pretty good actor. And liar. From the sounds next door, all is well. For them.
9:55 PM Apr 23rd
Monty: " An offer. A producer who was at the Bar Mitzvah wants you to come to his grandson's Bris. No make-up. You're not a Mohel, are you"?
8:55 AM Apr 24th
Amber and Bob came with Harry's car. "Let's go to breakfast! You drive. And wear your hat." They giggled in the back the whole way there.
10:19 AM Apr 24th
Felt kind of sorry for myself, but sorrier for Harry. If A&B are thinking about him at all, it can't be good. At least I get free pancakes.
10:32 AM Apr 24th
" Norm, I need a scene partner for acting class. Wanna exercise your chops?" "What"s it from? "Carnal Knowledge". Our eyes met. She smiled.
11:25 AM Apr 24th
Dropped the girls and went to work. Harry wasn't feeling well. Stomach cramps. " I must've eaten a bad tongue sandwich. Come back tomorrow".
12:13 PM Apr 24th
" Anything I can do before I go, Harry?". "If you see Bobette, ask her where she got that sandwich. Farcacta thing is burning my kishka's".
3:11 PM Apr 24th
Knock knock . "Hi, Bob went home. Ready to rehearse our scene, Norm?" "Sure, did you bring the script?" "I thought we could just improvise."
11:03 PM Apr 24th
What a night. Amber and I spent better part of it doing "sense memory" exercises. She really is very talented. I want to know her better.
9:47 AM Apr 25th
She's really an All-American girl. From Chicago. Her father is in the meat packing business. Kinda funny. Mr. Hamburger makes hot dogs.
10:08 AM Apr 25th
Made a date for later. Off to Harry's to see if I can borrow the car for the evening. Starting to feel happy for the first time in years.
11:58 AM Apr 25th
Harry's. Surrounded by police cars, ambulance. Lights flashing. A stretcher was being carried from the house. Body covered with a blanket.
1:16 PM Apr 25th
I started to pull back the blanket. Cop:"Who are you?" "A friend". "Pretty gruesome. Knife wounds. You sure?" I nodded. Lifted blanket. Bob.
1:20 PM Apr 25th
In house. Harry in bed, tube in nose. " My baby goil is gone, Norman! Why? Why?!" "I'm so sorry, Harry". Poor Bob. Poor Harry... Poor me.
3:13 PM Apr 25th
"I'm Det. Martinez. No murder weapon. We'll find it. And the killer. Don't leave town, Mr. Maine. Hey...you know who you look like like?"
3:54 PM Apr 25th
"You rest, Harry. I'll come back tomorrow. If there's anything I can do...Uh, say...I don't suppose you'll be using your c...oh never mind".
4:03 PM Apr 25th
Does Amber know what's happened? She'll be devastated. Unless she...No. I don't want to believe it. But then...the note.
9:27 PM Apr 25th
No one home next door. Several hours pass. Amber said she was going to yoga. That was this morning. She must be really limber by now.
9:36 PM Apr 25th
I'm going to try to sleep. Feel uneasy. Put a chair against the door. And a refrigerator. I'll deal with this when I wake up...if I wake up.
9:58 PM Apr 25th
Morning. Whew! Slept in a fitful fetal. Dreamt about Bob. She was pointing at her head. Wonder what that means? Alev a shalom, Bob.
10:06 AM Apr 26th
Amber still not home. Such a sweet kid. Scared for her, worried for Harry,too. Better get over there pronto. As pronto as a city bus can go.
10:23 AM Apr 26th
Expected the nurse to answer the door, but Harry did. He looks different. Oh, his hair is kind of pink or red...fushcia. "Come in, Brent".
11:18 AM Apr 26th
"Nice dye job, Harry". "You're one to talk, kid." "What've you done with Amber?" A familiar voice. "Don't worry, Normie, I'm copacetic."
12:30 PM Apr 26th
"Amber...? "Haven't you hoid, kid, love is funny." His arm slid around her. She kissed his cheek. There was a spot of fuschia on her lips.
1:37 PM Apr 26th
"Why did you kill Bob?" "We had to. She'd have never let him go. She'd have taken all our...his money. Fortunately for us, you came along".
2:17 PM Apr 26th
"I knew who you were from the start, Brent. I saw all TNG movies twice. Except "Nemesis". That one sucked. And I knew you opened the box."
2:43 PM Apr 26th
"Your prints are all over that knife." "My prints aren't on file." "Don't matter, kid, they match the ones on my steering wheel. Run along".
3:19 PM Apr 26th
"You'll never get away with this." " Martinez finds that knife tomorrow." "There's just one thing I have to say... 'Nemesis' did not suck!"
3:26 PM Apr 26th
I ran. Fast as my legs would carry me. Which is slow. Back to the apt/hotel, gathered my few things and checked out. It was awful, but home.
8:25 PM Apr 26th
Into the night. Where to go? Wish I was back at the Betty White. 'Nemesis', good or bad? Who gives a shit!! Sorry...I'm a little strung out.
8:35 PM Apr 26th
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam M...
9:02 PM Apr 26th
Got a cheap room. The Taranchula Arms. Sink/toilet combo. Watching t.v. 'COPS'. Hey, maybe this show will be my return to series television.
9:11 AM Apr 27th
Watching 'Jerry Springer' now. Woman married to proctologist, cheating with circus clown. Makes me feel slightly better about my life.
9:30 AM Apr 27th
Bought wheels from a guy in a coffee shop. I think it used to be some kind of Toyota. Can sleep in it if I have to. If I can remove my legs.
4:22 PM Apr 27th
Call me crazy, but I miss Amber. Going to drive to the beach tonight. Nothing like a little salt air to clear the mind. What's left of it.
4:45 PM Apr 27th
The Pacific at night. A dark and inviting mistress. Perhaps I am Norman Maine. I removed my clothes and disappeared into the black abyss.
8:54 PM Apr 27th
OH MY GOD!! IT'S FREEEEZING!! Only got in as far as my knees. There's no way they shot that scene in L.A. Toweling off with my orange pants.
9:00 PM Apr 27th
In the Blanch DuBois suite. Wonder what Harry and Amber are doing? Wonder where the knife is? Wonder if I survive ? It's a Wonderful Life.
9:32 PM Apr 27th
"Monty, I need help." "Where are you? The hotel said you moved..." "I'm being framed for the murder of Harry's wife!" "You did it?" "No!!!"
9:12 AM Apr 28th
"They haven't found a murder weapon and the only suspect is his driver." "That's me." "Wh...?" "I'll explain when I see you." "Where?"
9:18 AM Apr 28th
" Pink's at noon." "Ok." "And if you get there before me, order me two chili dogs, all the way." "So, this mean you're not doing the Bris?"
9:23 AM Apr 28th
Watching Oprah. Always makes me cry. I'm a wuss. Hey, maybe if I survive this thing she'll have me on. Look what it did for Tom..oh, yeah.
10:20 AM Apr 28th
Drive past Pink's. Crawling with cops. Damn that Monty. He ratted me out. If you can't trust your agent who can you...What am I saying?
12:01 PM Apr 28th
Now what? Can't think, Can't think! Thank God I didn't tell Monty where I was living. Damnit, I'm furious. I really wanted those hot dogs!!!
12:34 PM Apr 28th
"Why Monty?" "For your own good. Meshugeh, turn yourself in." "What did Harry tell you?" "He's too upset to talk. It was his nurse, Amber".
3:16 PM Apr 28th
"She said you were a son to him. You fell for his cute little wife, she didn't respond, you stabbed her.""You think there a pilot in this?"
4:22 PM Apr 28th
"I'm ashamed of you. As a client and a Jew." "Oh for Crissakes, I didn't kill her! Harry and Amber did it! " "You're sick." "You're fired."
5:33 PM Apr 28th
She fooled Monty. Like she fooled me. Clever dame. If I don't stop them I'll be playcationing for life in the Big House. Whatever that is.
9:29 PM Apr 28th
New York Post. Headline: DATA DOOD IT! "... knife was found in the trunk of the car Spiner was driving...police suspect...subject at large.
9:25 AM Apr 29th
They must've matched the prints on the knife with those on the steering wheel. There's a lesson in this. Don't open other people's mail.
9:41 AM Apr 29th
Found a surgical supply. Pulled the brim low on my baseball cap and bought a mask. Put it on. With this swine flu thing, no one will ask.
10:18 AM Apr 29th
Looked in the mirror. Even with the mask, still looks like me. Can't go out again. Think of something else. No time to grow beard. I know..
3:59 PM Apr 29th
Shaved my head. Pretty smooth. A few nicks. I look like Mr. Clean on heroin. Scary. Some of the patients at the clinic would be so jealous.
4:29 PM Apr 29th
Tested new look. Went to Zankou Chicken for dinner. Had a shwarma plate. No one recognized me. Though, difficult to eat in a surgical mask.
9:07 PM Apr 29th
Still can't believe Amber didn't feel something for me. Her affection seemed so real. Particularly when she...well, you had to be there.
9:34 PM Apr 29th
Maybe I should see Martinez. Tell him everything. The truth will set you free. Maybe he'll believe me. It's always better to tell the...Nah.
8:29 AM Apr 30th
I'm jonesing for Amber. I have to see her. Talk to her. Running out of money. And time. I'm going back to the house. For what?... Who knows?
9:12 AM Apr 30th
Preparing myself. Did yoga. Chanted. Pressed my suit as best I could. Reshaved head. Must leave instructions should anything happen to me.
10:46 AM Apr 30th
I, Brent Spiner, of sound mnid and body, leave all my earthly possessions (one suit,6pr pants) to The Actor's Fund. Will get big$$ on ebay.
10:51 AM Apr 30th
Driving around LA. Reliving all of my past Adventures in LaLaLand. It all comes to a head tonight. I can feel it in my...well, in my head.
11:58 AM Apr 30th
Just had what I hope won't be my last Fatburger...my last anything. Got special sauce all over my mask. Good thing I bought a spare.
3:36 PM Apr 30th
Driving toward the hills, and Amber. Don't think she'll recognize me. Wearing my suit. With shaved head and mask I look hip and paranoid.
3:43 PM Apr 30th
Parked outside Harry's house. Don't know what I'll say or do. Can't go in till I stop shaking. Wish I'd saved some of my pills from clinic.
4:14 PM Apr 30th
The gate opened. A limo pulled out. Harry and Amber in the backseat. I have to follow. Going East on Sunset. Turning South to Melrose.
5:06 PM Apr 30th
I know this neighborhood well. The limo turning into Paramount Pictures. Oh my God...They're going to premiere of the new STAR TREK movie!
5:11 PM Apr 30th
Limo drove past guard gate into parking lot. What to do? What to do? Namyoho renge kyo, Namyoho renge kyo, Namyoho renge...Oh what the hell.
5:22 PM Apr 30th
Kip, the guard, I know him. Pulled my mask up. (ala Patrick Stewart) Hello, Kip!" " Evening Mr. Stewart. Enjoy the film" "Make it so!"
5:26 PM Apr 30th
Hiding in a bathroom stall till lights go down. I'll sneak in. This is the perfect place to be. There's a very good chance I might vomit.
5:41 PM Apr 30th
Lesson #2 : Remove mask before throwing up. I'll be going into the theater sans mask.
6:37 PM Apr 30th
Found seat in the back. Missed first five minutes. Spotted Harry and Amber. I've got to do something. But I think I'll watch movie first.
7:08 PM Apr 30th
Wow,great movie. Crowd goes wild. Director and cast come out on stage. Nimoy steps to the mike. Tumultuous applause. He begins to speak.
9:05 PM Apr 30th
But, at that moment I find myself standing up. "Ladies and gentlemen..." A gasp goes through the audience. I hear my name being whispered...
9:06 PM Apr 30th
" I know you've been heard some crazy things about me. If I may, I'd like to set the record straight. I didn't kill anyone I..." "STOP!"
9:13 PM Apr 30th
Martinez and crew with Kip."I knew it wasn't Mr. Stewart! His head has a much nicer shape." Martinez steps forward," Come with us, now."
9:17 PM Apr 30th
A voice. Leonard's. " Let him speak! Give the man his say." The crowd concurs. Martinez steps back. "Thanks, Leonard. Loved the movie."
9:25 PM Apr 30th
"Mr. Abraham, forgive me. This is your night. I'll continue with your kind permission." Abraham looked at me, nodded and smiled, "Engage".
9:27 PM Apr 30th
I pointed at Harry and Amber. "That elderly man and that...absolutely adorable creature sitting next to him killed his wife and framed me".
9:33 PM Apr 30th
Harry sputtered,"That's absoid! The man's crazy! Arrest him before he hurts someone else." He took Amber by the hand and stood to leave.
9:36 PM Apr 30th
"Harry, I understand. Love is a powerful thing. Makes you do things you never thought you were capable of. Amber, it's you. You caused this"
9:41 PM Apr 30th
" Bob loved you, and you killed her. I loved you, you framed me. And Harry, believe me, you're next. How could so much love lead to this?"
9:45 PM Apr 30th
"Amber, you'll regret this. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life." Amber and Harry stood frozen.
9:47 PM Apr 30th
The room was silent.Then, a man stood and raised his hand. "Mr. Spiner, do you think it was a mistake killing Data at the end of Nemesis?"
9:53 PM Apr 30th
Harry pulled a pistol from inside his coat."Someone's got to stop him before he kills again!" Several people screamed. Mostly women. And me.
9:59 PM Apr 30th
Martinez grabbed Harry's arm. Shots rang out. The crowd became hysterical. Absolute chaos. A cop grabbed me but some fans pushed him away.
10:04 PM Apr 30th
The room has gone mad. Like one of Tod Hackett's paintings in Day of the Locust. Bullets flying. Felt something burning hot graze my temple
10:08 PM Apr 30th
The room was spinning out of control. A black hole opened. I was sucked in...
10:09 PM Apr 30th
After drifting in space for several hours, regained consciousness in a jail cell in downtown LA. My head still aches. Bullets will do that.
8:32 AM May 1st
Wonder what's become of Harry and Amber. What a crazy night. The thing I keep remembering most about it? That new Uhura is sizzling hot!
8:38 AM May 1st
Martinez. "You're a lucky man. We traced the weapon to 'the knife show'. Ordered by one Amber Jordan." "Hamburger." "No, meatloaf today."
8:54 AM May 1st
"Harrry told us everything. You're free to go, sir." "Could I see her?" " He took me to Amber's cell. She looked looked cute in prison garb.
9:00 AM May 1st
"Baby, I love you. It was Harry. He.." "You killed Bob. Wouldn't call her a friend, but she was nice to me. You're taking the fall, sister."
9:05 AM May 1st
"But, I love you." " I love you,too. And when you get outta here in fifty years or so, I'll be waiting." "But, you'll be dead." " Oh yeah."
9:08 AM May 1st
Martinez walked me to my car. We shook hands. " Piece of advice, Mr. Spiner. If I were you, I leave town." "What, and quit show business?"
9:16 AM May 1st
I drove into the beautiful morning light. A perfect day in Lotus Land. Three blocks from the prison, my left front tire fell off. The end.
9:19 AM May 1st
Source: http://colddeadfish.blogspot.nl/2009/05/brent-spiners-twitter-story.html
Also, I'm only posting it here, because it seemed funnier than emailing myself to remind myself. That might be, however, a dreadful error in judgement, since I'm also getting drunk right now. Anyway, here goes:
Brent's story begins on March 28, 2009.
I'm thinking of going into rehab. I'm not addicted to anything, but I think it's good way to jumpstart an acting career.
5:40 PM Mar 28th
I'm now writing from the Betty White Clinic. Group session. We have to say what we think is wrong with us. I'm saying, "bad agent".
11:34 AM Mar 29th
Watched "Family Guy" in the rec room with the other prisoners...er, patients. They seem to think I'd get more work if I was a cartoon.
9:15 PM Mar 29th
Looks like I'm not the only one here with this idea. I saw James Woods playing ping-pong last night.
9:18 AM Mar 30th
Had my first solo therapy session in the Allen Ludden, "Password" room. Cute therapist. Couldn't decide whether to give or receive.
10:45 AM Mar 30th
Thankfully, that session ended before the "lightening round". I'm going to take a nap now.
12:24 PM Mar 30th
Refused to take my pills. They put me in a straight jacket. Am typing this with my nose. Feel so goooooooood.
9:09 PM Mar 30th
Woke up in a fog and realized...Hey, they don't give pills in rehab! And they don't put you in straight jackets! Where am I? Helllllppppp!!!
9:04 AM Mar 31st
Not in rehab. Must've been dreaming. Told I've had a breakdown. In institution. Okay, should be good enough to get me on Oprah or The View.
9:30 AM Mar 31st
Thanks for all your good wishes. Apparently, my entire life since "Nemesis" has been a dream. Family, friends, everything. Got to get out.
3:56 PM Mar 31st
It's clear to me now. Nothing here is as I thought it was. Well, James Woods is still here playing ping-pong.
4:04 PM Mar 31st
Woods asked if I wanted to play. I was going to, then he said he didn't like "Nemesis". Not speaking to him. Or anyone else for that matter.
5:09 PM Mar 31st
Movie night here. "Girl Interrupted". Woods says he used to be married to Angelina. I don't believe him.
8:26 PM Mar 31st
Spent the morning in Crafts. Made something out of paper mache. It's either a pig or a fish. Hey maybe I could do this when I get out.
7:42 AM Apr 1st
Doc says I may get out in the next day or so. Suggest another shock treatment. Kind of enjoyed the last one. If I remember correctly.
8:51 AM Apr 1st
While I was catatonic, Patrick, bless him, came to visit. He read a selection of sonnets for the inmates. When he left, they were catatonic
4:44 PM Apr 1st
Unless it was an April Fool's joke, the doc says I get out tomorrow. I'm watching TNG with my friends here. "Schizoid Man". Apropos.
9:35 PM Apr 1st
Woods now making everyone watch, "Once Upon a Time in America". The long version. Everyone asleep but me. Hid my pills under my tongue.
9:52 PM Apr 1st
Doc now says next week. No way. Bribing a guard to get me out. He's a ST fan. Autographed photo and original Galoob action figure should do.
10:22 AM Apr 2nd
I keep few Galoobs handy for emergencies. This may require one with a spotted face. Guard says there will be a key in my pudding tonight.
11:27 AM Apr 2nd
Never looked forward to dinner as much as I am right now. For one thing, I'm soon going to be outta here. For anthoer, I'm oddly hungry.
3:42 PM Apr 2nd
For those who keep asking, here's how it works. Click on my picture and read a few back posts. Geez, don't I have enough to deal with?
3:50 PM Apr 2nd
Great. The chef is on twitter. He's a company man. He's onto me. No pudding tonight. I hope the key's not in the mashed potatoes.
5:01 PM Apr 2nd
No more tweets till I'm free. I'm breaking out of this joint. I'll update you from the other side. Hopefully on Entertainment Tonight.
5:09 PM Apr 2nd
Dissolved my pill stash in the guard's late night Bosco. Switched clothes with him. Literally strolled out of the joint. Free at last...
9:22 PM Apr 3rd
Hitchhiked to a gas station in Flagstaff. Enjoying a Dr. Pepper and a Slim Jim. Best meal in seven years. Hollywood, here I come.
9:35 PM Apr 3rd
Feeling a little sad. Lonely for the Betty White. Miss some of my friends. Toothless Ted, Cowgirl Clara, Brittany, well, everyone but Woods.
10:00 AM Apr 4th
Almost home. A beautiful day! Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. Ahhhh. Today is the first Monday of the rest of my life!
11:20 AM Apr 4th
Foreclosure sign on my house? Thought I was well invested. Calling my financial investor, Bernie. If I can borrow a quarter.
11:52 AM Apr 4th
No pay phones? Had to use a neighbor's. Chad from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Long distance. Had to give him action figure. Running out.
2:35 PM Apr 4th
The bad news: The market crashed, Bernie's in jail, and I'm broke. The good news: My agent has dropped me. Breakdowns aren't marketable.
3:18 PM Apr 4th
Don't worry folks. I'm not down. If there's one thing I learned in rehab...well, I didn't learn anything there. But I'm an eternal optimist.
3:32 PM Apr 4th
Called my friend Dave. He lent me enough for a month's rent at a transient hotil in Hollywood. Same place I stayed when I first came here.
8:08 PM Apr 4th
They say the room next door was where Joplin OD'd. Sorry to drop the name,@ Greggreenburg, whoever the hell you are.
8:09 PM Apr 4th
Obviously meant hotel. Not a bad place. At least I have company. A charming spider who hovers just above my pillow.
8:18 PM Apr 4th
Well, as Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day". And what better day than Tuesday to go looking for a new agent!
9:25 PM Apr 4th
Hey, today is Sunday! Why didn't anyone tell me??? I'll look for an agent tomorrow. I'll start with the ones who are in walking distance.
9:52 AM Apr 5th
Again, please don't think I'm despondent. I know something great is going to happen this week. May has always been a lucky month for me.
10:33 AM Apr 5th
A friend tells me my breakdown happened at a ST con. Got confused and thought I was my character. Stopped using contractions. Now I am fine.
1:31 PM Apr 5th
Interesting crowd at this hotel. Some at the beginning of their careers and some at the end. I am sort of both.
4:44 PM Apr 5th
Had a nice chat with a young actress at the pool. She says they're making a new Star Trek movie! See, things are looking up already!
7:37 PM Apr 5th
Colored my hair dark brown. Have to stay competitive when I go see agents. I have to say, took at least three years off.
7:57 AM Apr 6th
Recharged with a bag of donut holes and a cup of Ovaltine. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Watch out world, here I come!
9:28 AM Apr 6th
Was held up at gun point as I walked to agents. No money. Took my shirt. Went to agent without a shirt. Don't think he was impressed.
8:12 PM Apr 6th
He did tell me the new ST movie is already in the can. Guess I'm not in it. Directed by a Mr. Abraham or something. Try again tomorrow.
8:17 PM Apr 6th
Agent called. Wanted to know if I'd do Sci-fi porn. A film called "Live from Uranis". I guess the shirtless thing worked. Considering it.
1:58 PM Apr 7th
Could use the cash, but despite your encouragement, I passed. Like Data, too old for this job. Do they do Senior's porn, anyway?
3:21 PM Apr 7th
Going to see my first agent Monty Gold in the morning. Better have more nourishing breakfast. Chocolate donut holes. Lots of anti-oxidents.
7:03 PM Apr 7th
T.V. doesn't work here. Said they'd fix it yesterday. A few books others have left. Think I'll read, "Day of the Locust". Love nature books
7:15 PM Apr 7th
Monty is semi- retired but keeps an office and one toe in the business. Says he might have something interesting for me. Very exited.
10:44 AM Apr 8th
Pardon my speling. I meant excited.
10:48 AM Apr 8th
The walls here are paper thin. People next door are listening to "The Knife Show". Wow, you can get a thousand knives for a hundred bucks.
10:56 AM Apr 8th
Monty called. Wants to pay me to march in his grandson's Bar Mitzvah made up as Data. I don't know, I'm thinking about it.
6:45 PM Apr 8th
Yelling and crying from next door. Two women. Interesting character studies, but I prefer sleep. Might have to talk to them.
6:50 AM Apr 9th
Told Monty I'd wear the make-up but no uniform. Agreed to tallis and yarmulke. Asked Mike Westmore to make me up. Hopefully, he remembers.
11:06 AM Apr 9th
Told Monty I'd wear the make-up but no uniform. Agreed to tallis and yarmulke. Asked Mike Westmore to make me up. Hopefully, he remembers.
11:06 AM Apr 9th
Can't sleep. Someone left a Hagadah, so I'm reading that. Four questions. Fifth, no noise next door last night? Till now. Lots of yelling.
5:16 AM Apr 10th
This will be a good Friday. Monty sent advance to buy a suit. Suggested place called Zindler's. A $100 for a coat and ten pairs of pants.
6:51 AM Apr 10th
UPS came with a package for the woman next door. Asked if I could give it to her when she returned. It's from the Knife show. Gulp.
11:30 AM Apr 10th
Opened package. Couldn't resist. Not a thousand knives, just one big one. Gulp again. Gotta find some tape. Her name is Amber. Nice.
12:00 PM Apr 10th
Delivered retaped box. She opened the door a crack, snatched it, muttered"thanks", then slammed it. Noticed a face like an ice cream sundae.
7:36 AM Apr 11th
Don't think Amber recognized me. That's good. Seemed like a Southern twang in her terse two words. Redhead. Make that sundae, strawberry.
10:37 AM Apr 11th
Bought suit at Zindler's. Charcoal. Ten pairs of pants. All colors. Only one fits. Fortunately, the gray. Should go well with Data make-up.
11:49 AM Apr 11th
Rode the bus home. Sat next to a woman with a parrot. It kept saying, "Meshugenah! Meshugenah!". Didn't know whether it meant me or her.
1:18 PM Apr 11th
Easter. Staying in bed all day. Don't feel like rising.
6:17 AM Apr 12th
Got up to go get a paper. Box of Peeps and a note at the door. "Sorry for being so rude." Amber.
7:52 AM Apr 12th
Was about to go properly introduce myself when I heard more screaming next door. The good kind. Sort of exciting. I love Easter.
7:56 AM Apr 12th
Quiet now knocked on door. Nothing. Left note. " Come by later. I'm serving Ding Dongs.
1:32 PM Apr 12th
Guess she's not into chocolate enveloped devil's food with a cream filling. Ate them all myself. Went into coma. Woke up with Ding Dong face
6:25 AM Apr 13th
Message light blinking. "Meet me at Yamashiro. Sevenish." Hmm, I thought there was a look in her eye as she slammed the door in my face.
7:57 AM Apr 13th from web
I'm definitely going. I'll wear my Bar Mitzvah jacket. Having trouble deciding which pair of pants. Maybe the chartreuse.
11:52 AM Apr 13th
I'm reminded of a Hitchcock quote. "If you see a gun in the first act, it's bound to go off by act three." I wonder if that goes for knives?
2:04 PM Apr 13th
Okay, okay, Chekov. But Hitchcok must've read it. Got another call from the porno agent. Now they're offering a three picture deal.
2:11 PM Apr 13th
"Amber Jordan, nice name". "My real name's Amber Hamburger but I changed it when I decided to be an actress." "Good choice."
6:07 AM Apr 14th
Another woman joined us, Bobbette. Amber's girlfriend. They're going through a rough patch. Bobbette"s been seeing her husband again.
6:19 AM Apr 14th
BTW, I passed on the porno. You have to supply your own wardrobe, and mine is woefully lacking.
6:20 AM Apr 14th
Drank too much last night. Bobette paid. Married to a rich dinosaur. Invited to his swankienda for lunch tomorrow. Interesting girls.
10:58 AM Apr 14th
FYI They loved my chartreuse pants. I'll wear the orange one's to lunch. They didn't recognize me. Told them my name is Norman Maine.
11:29 AM Apr 14th
Bob (that's what Amber calls her) sent a limo for us. Feels like the good ol days. Met the dino. About eighty. A zillionaire. Now I get it.
2:06 PM Apr 15th
Harry Boik (I think it's Berk,really) wore a plaid 50's bathing suit at lunch by the pool. Said my pants were absoid. Look who's talking.
3:36 PM Apr 15th
The girls ran off and left Harry and me alone. Smoked some huge Cuban's. Said he bought a couple million pre-embargo. Think I like this guy.
3:40 PM Apr 15th
"What kinda woik do you do, Norm?" "I'm between engagements". "I need a driver. Interested?" "I'll let you know, Mr. Boik." "Call me Harry".
4:42 PM Apr 15th
Harry Berg. Came here in '49 with $35. Won sixty thou in a poker game. Opened talent agency. Sold it for 60 million. Self made man. Me like.
8:57 AM Apr 16th
Tested to see if he knew who I really am. "Harry, what do you think of this Star Trek thing?" "Feh!" Could be the start of something big.
9:01 AM Apr 16th
Jason Gold becomes a man tomorrow. Confirmed with Mike to meet me at Temple. Probably wear a yellowish shirt in case the make-up gets on it.
10:33 AM Apr 16th
Started exercising again. Gotta look good for the next phase. Swam width of the pool. Well, halfway. Twenty feet is longer than it looks.
12:23 PM Apr 16th
Amber swam by. Very happy. Got her first gig. Deodorant commercial. Just underarms but a start. She looks great in a bikini. Bob's lucky.
12:34 PM Apr 16th
Going out to celebrate with Amber and Bob. Feel I'm betraying Harry, but their schtick is really none of my business. Besides, I eat better.
5:01 PM Apr 16th
Guy came to our table for my autograph. A&B asked why. Told them I look just like an actor on ST. They've never seen it. It's all ironic.
10:38 PM Apr 16th
Great night for all. The antics next door literally shook the entire building. And I got to listen. Sometimes it's the little things.
8:56 AM Apr 17th
Mike made me up in the bathroom. Very embarrassing. I looked in mirror. Oy. In my suit I look like Jimmy Stewart in Greatest Show On Earth.
7:33 PM Apr 17th
An old cocker came out of a stall. He looked at me with a very quizzical look."What's that on your face, egg?" "Exactly".
7:35 PM Apr 17th
Marched with Jason and seven of his buddies. Heard a man say, "Big deal, we had Solo from the original series at my kid's Bar Mitzvah."
8:21 PM Apr 17th
The rabbi is a big ST fan. Sermon was about how you can go wrong in life. Like the way we did when we killed Data in Nemesis. Sheesh.
8:23 PM Apr 17th
I am feeling strange again. I do not know what is happening. Hailing frequencies...out.
8:24 PM Apr 17th
Last night: Posed for pictures with the family. Uncle Shelly refused to stand next to me. Rabbi asked could I get him tix to the new movie.
9:31 AM Apr 18th
Split a piece of herring w/Monty. Introduced me to his mentor, Harry Berg. Gulp. Harry: "You remind me of someone...are you PeeWee Herman?"
9:33 AM Apr 18th
Spent the day in fetal position. Amber came by. Wanted to know what was wrong. Told her I was just having a Viet Nam flashback. Hugged me.
2:33 PM Apr 18th
Woke up next to Amber. Sweet. Don't know what happened but she was wearing my tallis. Hope she doesn't tell Bob. No more Bar Mitzvah's.
10:29 AM Apr 19th
Went to Denny's with A&B. Don't think Amber said anything to Bob re:last night. Maybe nothing happened. But Amber keeps looking at me funny.
8:43 PM Apr 19th
I can't believe everything is so foggy. I must've drunk too much Mogan David at the Bar Mitzvah. I've got to confront Amber...tomorrow.
8:53 PM Apr 19th
"Amber, I just don't remember what happened last night. I hope I didn't do anything I should be sorry..." "No." She smiled enigmatically.
9:24 AM Apr 20th
"Off to my first job, Norman. I'm not really looking forward to it". "Hey, it's a foot in the door, Amber". "Well, an armpit, really."
10:10 AM Apr 20th
Inspired by Amber. Sometimes we just have to work, like it or not. Called Harry. Agreed to be his driver. Start tomorrow. I'll wear a hat.
10:49 AM Apr 20th
Concerned about Amber. Excited about her first job, then depressed. Seemed to be into Bob, now me. I don't know, maybe it's all in my mind.
11:16 AM Apr 20th
Decided to get away from it all and go to a movie. Going to see a classic, "Double Indemnity". Boy, they don't make 'em like that anymore.
5:20 PM Apr 20th
Close call. Milk dud stuck in my throat. Fortunately, usher knew the Heimlich. A big fan. Autographed a box of Junior Mints for him.
9:42 PM Apr 20th
"Mr. Spiner, wake up, it's time to take your pills" "No, nurse, I..." AHHH! I woke up in a cold sweat. Dreamed I was in the clinic. Whew!
8:35 AM Apr 21st
After the Milk Dud episode, restricting myself to liquids. Go next door to use Amber's blender. Make a donut shake. Gotta keep strength up.
9:34 AM Apr 21st
No answer. Door ajar. Peeked in. "Amber...?" She wont mind me using her blender. Besides, now I can add breaking and entering to my resume.
10:19 AM Apr 21st
Guess it's not really B&E. More like unlawful entry or trespassing. Whatever, it's sure to impress casting agents. I'll leave a note.
10:35 AM Apr 21st
Found paper. Writing on it. 1.Dispose of knife. 2. Dispose of body. 3. Clean area thoroughly. 4.Get fuschia highlights. My head is spinning.
10:51 AM Apr 21st
Amber's note has me freaked. Maybe she's writing a novel or something. Maybe. Called Harry. Postponed job till tomorrow. Too dizzy to drive.
11:01 AM Apr 21st
In the fetal position again. In the dark. I thought she was attracted to me. Should I be scared? Let me answer that question. I already am.
12:17 PM Apr 21st
Monty called. Has audition for a new show. No lines. Possibly recurring. Great. The walls are shaking again. Safe for tonight...I think.
10:31 PM Apr 21st
"Monty, what's the no line character's name?" "Let's see...uh, DEAD BODY." "And it recurs?" "That's what it says. You're perfect for it."
8:41 AM Apr 22nd
Audition tomorrow. Today, real job. Went to Army Surplus. Bought military hat w/visor. Looks good. Bus to Harry's. Should be there by noon.
9:41 AM Apr 22nd
Made it to Harry's a little early. He told me to get familiar with the car. 1958 Mercedes. Beauty. I'll should look great behind the wheel.
11:42 AM Apr 22nd
Drove Harry to his club. " Norm, you think I'm too old for Bobbette? I'm 81, she's 28." "Nah, Harry. Anything under sixty years is fine."
12:13 PM Apr 22nd
Harry burst into tears. "She used to love the sex. Ever since that damn Amber came into our lives, nothing! I think they want to kill me!"
12:40 PM Apr 22nd
Harry whimpered through a round of golf. Took him home. "Say something to make me feel better, Norm". "Could I have the day off tomorrow?"
1:40 PM Apr 22nd
Quiet next door. Thank God. Lying in bed. Working on my audition.
8:38 PM Apr 22nd
Knock at door. Amber. "Norman, I'm scared. Someone's been in my apt. I found this. (paper with the list). Can I stay with you tonight?"
8:58 PM Apr 22nd
"Norman,who could've left this strange note in my room?" "I don't know...'clean thoroughly'...maybe it was housekeeping." "Hold me." "Okay."
9:27 PM Apr 22nd
Amber looks like an angel when she sleeps. Maybe she didn't write the note. Maybe it was the maid. Folks, I'm just as confused as you are.
9:03 AM Apr 23rd
Kissed her gently so I wouldn't wake her. Crept out of the room to go to my audition. Hope she's here when I get back. Wonder where Bob is?
9:56 AM Apr 23rd
On the floor in the audition. Pretended to be dead. Tried to clear my mind of all thought. Images of Amber. Became aroused. Not good.
11:13 AM Apr 23rd
Called Monty for audition feedback. "You didn't get the part. They said you were not believable. That you were wooden." I have to agree.
12:12 PM Apr 23rd
Trying not to get discouraged about acting career. But, gee, I got turned down for the part of a dead body. What's next, inanimate objects?
2:14 PM Apr 23rd
Took a nap. Knock on the door. My heart leapt. " Hey bab..." It was Bob. "Norman, can I talk to you? I think Amber's seeing someone else"!"
9:25 PM Apr 23rd
"Why do you say that, Bob?" "She didn't answer her phone last night. She's been distant. There's someone else." "Nooo, I don't think...". Oy
9:40 PM Apr 23rd
I was finally able to reassure her. Sometimes I'm a pretty good actor. And liar. From the sounds next door, all is well. For them.
9:55 PM Apr 23rd
Monty: " An offer. A producer who was at the Bar Mitzvah wants you to come to his grandson's Bris. No make-up. You're not a Mohel, are you"?
8:55 AM Apr 24th
Amber and Bob came with Harry's car. "Let's go to breakfast! You drive. And wear your hat." They giggled in the back the whole way there.
10:19 AM Apr 24th
Felt kind of sorry for myself, but sorrier for Harry. If A&B are thinking about him at all, it can't be good. At least I get free pancakes.
10:32 AM Apr 24th
" Norm, I need a scene partner for acting class. Wanna exercise your chops?" "What"s it from? "Carnal Knowledge". Our eyes met. She smiled.
11:25 AM Apr 24th
Dropped the girls and went to work. Harry wasn't feeling well. Stomach cramps. " I must've eaten a bad tongue sandwich. Come back tomorrow".
12:13 PM Apr 24th
" Anything I can do before I go, Harry?". "If you see Bobette, ask her where she got that sandwich. Farcacta thing is burning my kishka's".
3:11 PM Apr 24th
Knock knock . "Hi, Bob went home. Ready to rehearse our scene, Norm?" "Sure, did you bring the script?" "I thought we could just improvise."
11:03 PM Apr 24th
What a night. Amber and I spent better part of it doing "sense memory" exercises. She really is very talented. I want to know her better.
9:47 AM Apr 25th
She's really an All-American girl. From Chicago. Her father is in the meat packing business. Kinda funny. Mr. Hamburger makes hot dogs.
10:08 AM Apr 25th
Made a date for later. Off to Harry's to see if I can borrow the car for the evening. Starting to feel happy for the first time in years.
11:58 AM Apr 25th
Harry's. Surrounded by police cars, ambulance. Lights flashing. A stretcher was being carried from the house. Body covered with a blanket.
1:16 PM Apr 25th
I started to pull back the blanket. Cop:"Who are you?" "A friend". "Pretty gruesome. Knife wounds. You sure?" I nodded. Lifted blanket. Bob.
1:20 PM Apr 25th
In house. Harry in bed, tube in nose. " My baby goil is gone, Norman! Why? Why?!" "I'm so sorry, Harry". Poor Bob. Poor Harry... Poor me.
3:13 PM Apr 25th
"I'm Det. Martinez. No murder weapon. We'll find it. And the killer. Don't leave town, Mr. Maine. Hey...you know who you look like like?"
3:54 PM Apr 25th
"You rest, Harry. I'll come back tomorrow. If there's anything I can do...Uh, say...I don't suppose you'll be using your c...oh never mind".
4:03 PM Apr 25th
Does Amber know what's happened? She'll be devastated. Unless she...No. I don't want to believe it. But then...the note.
9:27 PM Apr 25th
No one home next door. Several hours pass. Amber said she was going to yoga. That was this morning. She must be really limber by now.
9:36 PM Apr 25th
I'm going to try to sleep. Feel uneasy. Put a chair against the door. And a refrigerator. I'll deal with this when I wake up...if I wake up.
9:58 PM Apr 25th
Morning. Whew! Slept in a fitful fetal. Dreamt about Bob. She was pointing at her head. Wonder what that means? Alev a shalom, Bob.
10:06 AM Apr 26th
Amber still not home. Such a sweet kid. Scared for her, worried for Harry,too. Better get over there pronto. As pronto as a city bus can go.
10:23 AM Apr 26th
Expected the nurse to answer the door, but Harry did. He looks different. Oh, his hair is kind of pink or red...fushcia. "Come in, Brent".
11:18 AM Apr 26th
"Nice dye job, Harry". "You're one to talk, kid." "What've you done with Amber?" A familiar voice. "Don't worry, Normie, I'm copacetic."
12:30 PM Apr 26th
"Amber...? "Haven't you hoid, kid, love is funny." His arm slid around her. She kissed his cheek. There was a spot of fuschia on her lips.
1:37 PM Apr 26th
"Why did you kill Bob?" "We had to. She'd have never let him go. She'd have taken all our...his money. Fortunately for us, you came along".
2:17 PM Apr 26th
"I knew who you were from the start, Brent. I saw all TNG movies twice. Except "Nemesis". That one sucked. And I knew you opened the box."
2:43 PM Apr 26th
"Your prints are all over that knife." "My prints aren't on file." "Don't matter, kid, they match the ones on my steering wheel. Run along".
3:19 PM Apr 26th
"You'll never get away with this." " Martinez finds that knife tomorrow." "There's just one thing I have to say... 'Nemesis' did not suck!"
3:26 PM Apr 26th
I ran. Fast as my legs would carry me. Which is slow. Back to the apt/hotel, gathered my few things and checked out. It was awful, but home.
8:25 PM Apr 26th
Into the night. Where to go? Wish I was back at the Betty White. 'Nemesis', good or bad? Who gives a shit!! Sorry...I'm a little strung out.
8:35 PM Apr 26th
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam M...
9:02 PM Apr 26th
Got a cheap room. The Taranchula Arms. Sink/toilet combo. Watching t.v. 'COPS'. Hey, maybe this show will be my return to series television.
9:11 AM Apr 27th
Watching 'Jerry Springer' now. Woman married to proctologist, cheating with circus clown. Makes me feel slightly better about my life.
9:30 AM Apr 27th
Bought wheels from a guy in a coffee shop. I think it used to be some kind of Toyota. Can sleep in it if I have to. If I can remove my legs.
4:22 PM Apr 27th
Call me crazy, but I miss Amber. Going to drive to the beach tonight. Nothing like a little salt air to clear the mind. What's left of it.
4:45 PM Apr 27th
The Pacific at night. A dark and inviting mistress. Perhaps I am Norman Maine. I removed my clothes and disappeared into the black abyss.
8:54 PM Apr 27th
OH MY GOD!! IT'S FREEEEZING!! Only got in as far as my knees. There's no way they shot that scene in L.A. Toweling off with my orange pants.
9:00 PM Apr 27th
In the Blanch DuBois suite. Wonder what Harry and Amber are doing? Wonder where the knife is? Wonder if I survive ? It's a Wonderful Life.
9:32 PM Apr 27th
"Monty, I need help." "Where are you? The hotel said you moved..." "I'm being framed for the murder of Harry's wife!" "You did it?" "No!!!"
9:12 AM Apr 28th
"They haven't found a murder weapon and the only suspect is his driver." "That's me." "Wh...?" "I'll explain when I see you." "Where?"
9:18 AM Apr 28th
" Pink's at noon." "Ok." "And if you get there before me, order me two chili dogs, all the way." "So, this mean you're not doing the Bris?"
9:23 AM Apr 28th
Watching Oprah. Always makes me cry. I'm a wuss. Hey, maybe if I survive this thing she'll have me on. Look what it did for Tom..oh, yeah.
10:20 AM Apr 28th
Drive past Pink's. Crawling with cops. Damn that Monty. He ratted me out. If you can't trust your agent who can you...What am I saying?
12:01 PM Apr 28th
Now what? Can't think, Can't think! Thank God I didn't tell Monty where I was living. Damnit, I'm furious. I really wanted those hot dogs!!!
12:34 PM Apr 28th
"Why Monty?" "For your own good. Meshugeh, turn yourself in." "What did Harry tell you?" "He's too upset to talk. It was his nurse, Amber".
3:16 PM Apr 28th
"She said you were a son to him. You fell for his cute little wife, she didn't respond, you stabbed her.""You think there a pilot in this?"
4:22 PM Apr 28th
"I'm ashamed of you. As a client and a Jew." "Oh for Crissakes, I didn't kill her! Harry and Amber did it! " "You're sick." "You're fired."
5:33 PM Apr 28th
She fooled Monty. Like she fooled me. Clever dame. If I don't stop them I'll be playcationing for life in the Big House. Whatever that is.
9:29 PM Apr 28th
New York Post. Headline: DATA DOOD IT! "... knife was found in the trunk of the car Spiner was driving...police suspect...subject at large.
9:25 AM Apr 29th
They must've matched the prints on the knife with those on the steering wheel. There's a lesson in this. Don't open other people's mail.
9:41 AM Apr 29th
Found a surgical supply. Pulled the brim low on my baseball cap and bought a mask. Put it on. With this swine flu thing, no one will ask.
10:18 AM Apr 29th
Looked in the mirror. Even with the mask, still looks like me. Can't go out again. Think of something else. No time to grow beard. I know..
3:59 PM Apr 29th
Shaved my head. Pretty smooth. A few nicks. I look like Mr. Clean on heroin. Scary. Some of the patients at the clinic would be so jealous.
4:29 PM Apr 29th
Tested new look. Went to Zankou Chicken for dinner. Had a shwarma plate. No one recognized me. Though, difficult to eat in a surgical mask.
9:07 PM Apr 29th
Still can't believe Amber didn't feel something for me. Her affection seemed so real. Particularly when she...well, you had to be there.
9:34 PM Apr 29th
Maybe I should see Martinez. Tell him everything. The truth will set you free. Maybe he'll believe me. It's always better to tell the...Nah.
8:29 AM Apr 30th
I'm jonesing for Amber. I have to see her. Talk to her. Running out of money. And time. I'm going back to the house. For what?... Who knows?
9:12 AM Apr 30th
Preparing myself. Did yoga. Chanted. Pressed my suit as best I could. Reshaved head. Must leave instructions should anything happen to me.
10:46 AM Apr 30th
I, Brent Spiner, of sound mnid and body, leave all my earthly possessions (one suit,6pr pants) to The Actor's Fund. Will get big$$ on ebay.
10:51 AM Apr 30th
Driving around LA. Reliving all of my past Adventures in LaLaLand. It all comes to a head tonight. I can feel it in my...well, in my head.
11:58 AM Apr 30th
Just had what I hope won't be my last Fatburger...my last anything. Got special sauce all over my mask. Good thing I bought a spare.
3:36 PM Apr 30th
Driving toward the hills, and Amber. Don't think she'll recognize me. Wearing my suit. With shaved head and mask I look hip and paranoid.
3:43 PM Apr 30th
Parked outside Harry's house. Don't know what I'll say or do. Can't go in till I stop shaking. Wish I'd saved some of my pills from clinic.
4:14 PM Apr 30th
The gate opened. A limo pulled out. Harry and Amber in the backseat. I have to follow. Going East on Sunset. Turning South to Melrose.
5:06 PM Apr 30th
I know this neighborhood well. The limo turning into Paramount Pictures. Oh my God...They're going to premiere of the new STAR TREK movie!
5:11 PM Apr 30th
Limo drove past guard gate into parking lot. What to do? What to do? Namyoho renge kyo, Namyoho renge kyo, Namyoho renge...Oh what the hell.
5:22 PM Apr 30th
Kip, the guard, I know him. Pulled my mask up. (ala Patrick Stewart) Hello, Kip!" " Evening Mr. Stewart. Enjoy the film" "Make it so!"
5:26 PM Apr 30th
Hiding in a bathroom stall till lights go down. I'll sneak in. This is the perfect place to be. There's a very good chance I might vomit.
5:41 PM Apr 30th
Lesson #2 : Remove mask before throwing up. I'll be going into the theater sans mask.
6:37 PM Apr 30th
Found seat in the back. Missed first five minutes. Spotted Harry and Amber. I've got to do something. But I think I'll watch movie first.
7:08 PM Apr 30th
Wow,great movie. Crowd goes wild. Director and cast come out on stage. Nimoy steps to the mike. Tumultuous applause. He begins to speak.
9:05 PM Apr 30th
But, at that moment I find myself standing up. "Ladies and gentlemen..." A gasp goes through the audience. I hear my name being whispered...
9:06 PM Apr 30th
" I know you've been heard some crazy things about me. If I may, I'd like to set the record straight. I didn't kill anyone I..." "STOP!"
9:13 PM Apr 30th
Martinez and crew with Kip."I knew it wasn't Mr. Stewart! His head has a much nicer shape." Martinez steps forward," Come with us, now."
9:17 PM Apr 30th
A voice. Leonard's. " Let him speak! Give the man his say." The crowd concurs. Martinez steps back. "Thanks, Leonard. Loved the movie."
9:25 PM Apr 30th
"Mr. Abraham, forgive me. This is your night. I'll continue with your kind permission." Abraham looked at me, nodded and smiled, "Engage".
9:27 PM Apr 30th
I pointed at Harry and Amber. "That elderly man and that...absolutely adorable creature sitting next to him killed his wife and framed me".
9:33 PM Apr 30th
Harry sputtered,"That's absoid! The man's crazy! Arrest him before he hurts someone else." He took Amber by the hand and stood to leave.
9:36 PM Apr 30th
"Harry, I understand. Love is a powerful thing. Makes you do things you never thought you were capable of. Amber, it's you. You caused this"
9:41 PM Apr 30th
" Bob loved you, and you killed her. I loved you, you framed me. And Harry, believe me, you're next. How could so much love lead to this?"
9:45 PM Apr 30th
"Amber, you'll regret this. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life." Amber and Harry stood frozen.
9:47 PM Apr 30th
The room was silent.Then, a man stood and raised his hand. "Mr. Spiner, do you think it was a mistake killing Data at the end of Nemesis?"
9:53 PM Apr 30th
Harry pulled a pistol from inside his coat."Someone's got to stop him before he kills again!" Several people screamed. Mostly women. And me.
9:59 PM Apr 30th
Martinez grabbed Harry's arm. Shots rang out. The crowd became hysterical. Absolute chaos. A cop grabbed me but some fans pushed him away.
10:04 PM Apr 30th
The room has gone mad. Like one of Tod Hackett's paintings in Day of the Locust. Bullets flying. Felt something burning hot graze my temple
10:08 PM Apr 30th
The room was spinning out of control. A black hole opened. I was sucked in...
10:09 PM Apr 30th
After drifting in space for several hours, regained consciousness in a jail cell in downtown LA. My head still aches. Bullets will do that.
8:32 AM May 1st
Wonder what's become of Harry and Amber. What a crazy night. The thing I keep remembering most about it? That new Uhura is sizzling hot!
8:38 AM May 1st
Martinez. "You're a lucky man. We traced the weapon to 'the knife show'. Ordered by one Amber Jordan." "Hamburger." "No, meatloaf today."
8:54 AM May 1st
"Harrry told us everything. You're free to go, sir." "Could I see her?" " He took me to Amber's cell. She looked looked cute in prison garb.
9:00 AM May 1st
"Baby, I love you. It was Harry. He.." "You killed Bob. Wouldn't call her a friend, but she was nice to me. You're taking the fall, sister."
9:05 AM May 1st
"But, I love you." " I love you,too. And when you get outta here in fifty years or so, I'll be waiting." "But, you'll be dead." " Oh yeah."
9:08 AM May 1st
Martinez walked me to my car. We shook hands. " Piece of advice, Mr. Spiner. If I were you, I leave town." "What, and quit show business?"
9:16 AM May 1st
I drove into the beautiful morning light. A perfect day in Lotus Land. Three blocks from the prison, my left front tire fell off. The end.
9:19 AM May 1st
Source: http://colddeadfish.blogspot.nl/2009/05/brent-spiners-twitter-story.html
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