The last few years I’ve been throwing a lot of my private life and thoughts in the open (online). I don’t really have that many secrets anymore, because I spilled it all on my blog. Not a too bad a thing, but I figured I should leave something to the imagination. Most of you out there don’t need to know everything about all assets of me. Beside that, I love to be able to read back in diary’s and journals, something that is all me, in which I was totally honest about how I felt, no matter how silly, and of which only I know. I also think it’s good to have something where I can spill all without having to think of phrasing and who might read it. It’s got nothing to do with whoever is reading. It has all to do with me wanting to regain some privacy, and with allowing myself to let off steam whenever I need to. I think it’s a good thing.
I also see my new diary effort as a study of who I am. I planned to fill the diary with information about my research to my identity and origin. I think it would make an interesting work for me in the future. I’m already looking forward to rereading about my search.
I’ve been rereading old diaries. Some go back to my early childhood (from 8 to 15 or something). And then some diaries that mark my coming off age. It’s nice to have those memories written down and illustrated; it really takes me back to what was. I can see my development. I get embarrassed, or pleased. It’s funny.
A few times I’ve been kind of worrying about how I will look at the younger me when I’m rereading when I’m turning 40 or 50. I’m afraid I will find theories childish or stupid. Things I’ve thought out and I truly believe in now. It makes me feel stupid now. I’m not the smartest person in the world, but I’m definitely not the stupidest person in the world either. It’s inevitable I will find theories stupid in the future.
Not really to worry about, but still I do. I’m going to leave it all to fate and future. We will see, I’m not afraid.
Here we go.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Old Practice, New Period
All the positivity stuff and all the stuff of happiness I already knew. The reason I never aired them, or even reacted on Jason’s blogs was, because it was all so obvious to me, I didn’t realize the rest of the world was only finding out or coming back around. I must admit I had a little forgotten about it too. Well, not really forgotten, it was filed somewhere in the back of my brains. Every time somebody brought it up, I remembered.
My initial reactions to Jason’s public epiphanies were: “I already knew that. He’s finding it out only now? Poor guy, that’s kind of sad.”
And my initial reaction to people having trouble practicing positivity and gratitude was: “There’s something wrong with your attitude.”
Like I said, I didn’t realize not everybody had The epiphany. So, not everybody believes in the good of practicing positivity. Also, a lot of people don’t even realize how much they got. They don’t realize there’s a very fair chance they would have been dead already if they got born 2 centuries ago, or on another continent. Our healthcare knowledge is incredible. The safety on the streets is so much better than it used to be. And I’m not only talking about people with guns and knives, but also about the hygiene. Realizing that, knowing that, there’s nothing else I can do than be grateful.
Sure our lives know obstacles and hurdles. Some you can take, others are too high. People have to realize they can achieve way more than they think. People also have to learn to draw the line on a personal level. Carrying on caring for other people and forgetting about your own needs isn’t going to help anyone in the end, and certainly not you. Often help and tools are present. Often we tend to think too hard and too complicated to solve problems. Try and make it as easy as possible for yourselves without breaking down opportunities and other people’s feelings. A few rules I try to follow.
1. Accept your limitations and celebrate your talents. Accept limitations in a situation and celebrate the possibilities.
2. Nothing gets solved without effort. If you want to achieve something, or change something, you are the one to make it happen. Put in your part of effort.
3. Make it as easy as possible and is acceptable. Being lazy can also be a virtue.
4. Together you can achieve more; it’s not a shame to ask for help. Remember:
a. You can’t change people, but you can change some of their behaviour. Inspire them.
b. You can’t change people, but you can accept their shortcomings.
c. You can change, but you have to do it yourselves.
My initial reactions to Jason’s public epiphanies were: “I already knew that. He’s finding it out only now? Poor guy, that’s kind of sad.”
And my initial reaction to people having trouble practicing positivity and gratitude was: “There’s something wrong with your attitude.”
Like I said, I didn’t realize not everybody had The epiphany. So, not everybody believes in the good of practicing positivity. Also, a lot of people don’t even realize how much they got. They don’t realize there’s a very fair chance they would have been dead already if they got born 2 centuries ago, or on another continent. Our healthcare knowledge is incredible. The safety on the streets is so much better than it used to be. And I’m not only talking about people with guns and knives, but also about the hygiene. Realizing that, knowing that, there’s nothing else I can do than be grateful.
Sure our lives know obstacles and hurdles. Some you can take, others are too high. People have to realize they can achieve way more than they think. People also have to learn to draw the line on a personal level. Carrying on caring for other people and forgetting about your own needs isn’t going to help anyone in the end, and certainly not you. Often help and tools are present. Often we tend to think too hard and too complicated to solve problems. Try and make it as easy as possible for yourselves without breaking down opportunities and other people’s feelings. A few rules I try to follow.
1. Accept your limitations and celebrate your talents. Accept limitations in a situation and celebrate the possibilities.
2. Nothing gets solved without effort. If you want to achieve something, or change something, you are the one to make it happen. Put in your part of effort.
3. Make it as easy as possible and is acceptable. Being lazy can also be a virtue.
4. Together you can achieve more; it’s not a shame to ask for help. Remember:
a. You can’t change people, but you can change some of their behaviour. Inspire them.
b. You can’t change people, but you can accept their shortcomings.
c. You can change, but you have to do it yourselves.
Headlong into the Future
Recently I embraced an old theory, because everybody kept saying it. Also, because after thinking about it, I could not disagree anymore.
Everybody is always searching for happiness. What is happiness? What are we all searching for? Is it a state of mind? Is it a feeling? Is it a way of life? Did we think about the definition of ‘happiness’ at all? Do we even understand what we’re asking for? Is it possible we’re searching for something we already have?
Lately, I’ve been told not to search for ‘happiness’ but for ‘peace of mind’. I was told to think about how I felt about my current situation. I was told to think about the things I thought made me unhappy and to think about how to make the situation go away or to accept it. Then back to thinking of happiness.
I found out I actually was happy. Maybe not with certain situations, but that could be fixed or accepted. Take it or leave it. I could choose happiness or gloom. I could choose to stay where I am or move on. I choose to move on. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is a state of mind, even a way of life. So I stopped searching for happiness, I choose happiness. I am searching for peace of mind.
Realizing it was knowing what I needed to do to completely feel contented, or to get ready for the next phase. Life is an ongoing battle, and it’s up to you if you’re conquering or perishing. If you put your mind to it, you can achieve way more than you think. If you accept certain limitations you will be contented easier and feel good about yourselves quicker. In both cases you will grow faster than you would ever dream you would.
Everybody is always searching for happiness. What is happiness? What are we all searching for? Is it a state of mind? Is it a feeling? Is it a way of life? Did we think about the definition of ‘happiness’ at all? Do we even understand what we’re asking for? Is it possible we’re searching for something we already have?
Lately, I’ve been told not to search for ‘happiness’ but for ‘peace of mind’. I was told to think about how I felt about my current situation. I was told to think about the things I thought made me unhappy and to think about how to make the situation go away or to accept it. Then back to thinking of happiness.
I found out I actually was happy. Maybe not with certain situations, but that could be fixed or accepted. Take it or leave it. I could choose happiness or gloom. I could choose to stay where I am or move on. I choose to move on. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is a state of mind, even a way of life. So I stopped searching for happiness, I choose happiness. I am searching for peace of mind.
Realizing it was knowing what I needed to do to completely feel contented, or to get ready for the next phase. Life is an ongoing battle, and it’s up to you if you’re conquering or perishing. If you put your mind to it, you can achieve way more than you think. If you accept certain limitations you will be contented easier and feel good about yourselves quicker. In both cases you will grow faster than you would ever dream you would.
Monday, February 22, 2010
On My Mind
Arriving at an age where I’m leaving my childhood forever, I’m looking back to see and confirm that an important part of my history is unknown by me. It never really felt like missing, because, so I told myself and the world around me, I know what I did and I know who I am. That I still know, and my curiosity is more to seeing where it came from, to recognize and confirm that certain things I do, or the way I think about things is not something that was brainwashed into me, but something I was born with. I think what I am looking for is people who think and function the same way I do; recognition.
More and more I’m starting to see how a part of my identity was made up by whom I came from. More and more I’m starting to believe I’m missing more information than I thought. So now, my mind keeps telling me that I really should start my research. Also, there’s no good reason for procrastinating, since I only have to make a few calls and put some information through. I can pretty much live on till the moment I hear some news back. Thing is, I don’t think my mom gave me the adoption papers. She did give me her scrapbooks and photo albums about the whole trip, but not the adoption papers. In those papers my biological mom’s name was mentioned. That is what I need for my research. I should go and take a look in the attic.
It’s not really been bothering me. It’s just every time I watch these programs where people are searching for lost family members, or documentaries about Indonesia. That’s when I think I really want to go there, but only on the condition I will do some research before or during travelling there. And like I said before, more and more I believe it’s necessary for shaping the rest of my life to find out who I am and why.
I’m losing my interest in my musical buddies. I’m moving on. Lately I’ve been drawn to more mature stuff with YouTube the river I fish from. I’ve been watching a lot of Frasier episodes and checking out who David Hyde Pierce is. That’s period seems to be gone already. In the passed few weeks I’ve been researching the whereabouts of Jonathan Pryce, an old favourite of mine. Turns out he’s done more and is recognized and appreciated more than I realized. Certainly my admiration for the man’s work has grown.
Still though, the subject of positivity, gratitude and politeness is still on my mind. It’s all tied up in the other subjects and running interference from time to time. Life’s questions compared to Darwin, Plato, religion and Jason Mraz. Call it a weird comparison, but that is how it came into my living room. It’s interesting because neither of them aren’t saying much I already thought of or heard of. I got stuck somewhere along the way and I lost sight of what I was doing or where I wanted to go. Or maybe my life’s wishes have changed. Maybe I have changed and I am now searching for something else; undefined.
This keeps creeping up on me as well: Don’t search for happiness, search for peace of mind. And I realized, I am happy, but my mind is now boiling with question marks and unsolved personal mysteries. That’s where I’m going, headlong into my future. Whatever it will bring me, I know I’ll come out stronger ready for my next quest.
More and more I’m starting to see how a part of my identity was made up by whom I came from. More and more I’m starting to believe I’m missing more information than I thought. So now, my mind keeps telling me that I really should start my research. Also, there’s no good reason for procrastinating, since I only have to make a few calls and put some information through. I can pretty much live on till the moment I hear some news back. Thing is, I don’t think my mom gave me the adoption papers. She did give me her scrapbooks and photo albums about the whole trip, but not the adoption papers. In those papers my biological mom’s name was mentioned. That is what I need for my research. I should go and take a look in the attic.
It’s not really been bothering me. It’s just every time I watch these programs where people are searching for lost family members, or documentaries about Indonesia. That’s when I think I really want to go there, but only on the condition I will do some research before or during travelling there. And like I said before, more and more I believe it’s necessary for shaping the rest of my life to find out who I am and why.
I’m losing my interest in my musical buddies. I’m moving on. Lately I’ve been drawn to more mature stuff with YouTube the river I fish from. I’ve been watching a lot of Frasier episodes and checking out who David Hyde Pierce is. That’s period seems to be gone already. In the passed few weeks I’ve been researching the whereabouts of Jonathan Pryce, an old favourite of mine. Turns out he’s done more and is recognized and appreciated more than I realized. Certainly my admiration for the man’s work has grown.
Still though, the subject of positivity, gratitude and politeness is still on my mind. It’s all tied up in the other subjects and running interference from time to time. Life’s questions compared to Darwin, Plato, religion and Jason Mraz. Call it a weird comparison, but that is how it came into my living room. It’s interesting because neither of them aren’t saying much I already thought of or heard of. I got stuck somewhere along the way and I lost sight of what I was doing or where I wanted to go. Or maybe my life’s wishes have changed. Maybe I have changed and I am now searching for something else; undefined.
This keeps creeping up on me as well: Don’t search for happiness, search for peace of mind. And I realized, I am happy, but my mind is now boiling with question marks and unsolved personal mysteries. That’s where I’m going, headlong into my future. Whatever it will bring me, I know I’ll come out stronger ready for my next quest.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Wear I live, Wear I love
Like always, everything seems to come together in one big emotion burito.
I wrote this years ago, or actualy about one year after my dad died. A lot of it is still true. I never finished that story though. Right now, I don't want to finish it. Maybe one day I will.
Looking back, I realized, a lot of my life the past 10 years, I lived online. That was pretty much where it started. This is still wear I live and wear I love. I need a daddy t-shirt.
www.blendapparel.com
"Ooh dear," Brooke thought as she took a look in her books. She knew it already but was totally convinced when she checked. Sometimes I hate the Uni, she thought. It was a lot to study and she knew she wouldn't know it by tomorrow. Started too late again. She knew she had to start earlier if she wanted to pass her exams, now there was no hope left. After a quick run through her books and papers she decided which things to learn and what too leave. She flicked quickly through the pages wishing she wasn't so lazy.
Brian grinned a bit: "Started too late?" "Yeah," she answered softly. "I told you, but once again you didn't listen." Brooke looked up annoyed: "Look Brian, I'm not a little child anymore and I'll pass." "You think? And if you're not a child anymore, then don't
behave like one." "Fuck off." Brian only shrugged, he only wanted to help her, but she was so stubborn. Brian glanced to John who sat there grinning: "Hey, I can't help it." Brian sighed and left the room. Brooke was still looking in her papers, trying to figure out what it was all about. John watched her patiently, he knew he'd better be quiet. Brooke was very touchy, even more when Cyb tossed milk into her bag with papers. With a furious blush on her face she had tried to ignore Cyb. Cyb also hadn't said anything, she had only mumbled an apology. Brooke had acted like she hadn't heard it. John shook his head despairingly, watching Brooke struggling through the papers and softly swearing. Finally John stood up and took Brooke in his arms: "Come on baby, you need some rest." His arms were warm and Brooke felt safe. She hid her face into his pull-over. "Let's go out," he said. It sounded like a fab plan.
Brooke sat quietly behind a table on a terrace. She dreamed slightly away, thinking about her own father and thinking of John as a father. She wished he was her father, she wished she could feel his arms around her. The missing of her own father had caused these dreams. The missing warmth of his arms, the love he gave when he held her close, his heart beating in her ear. Brooke couldn't help tears were coming into her eyes, and she couldn't stop them from falling down her cheeks. That was what she missed so much, the father, the strong man, his strong arms. Brooke had felt it more clearly since she was in London, mostly since her poster arrived with a few piccies of Brian and best of all, some piccies from John. John with sunglasses on, he looked so cool, he looked so happy. His fingers in his ears, sunglasses on his nose and a cheeky smile. Whenever Brooke looked at John's arms, she wished, she dreamt and she cried, longing for the warmth and strength of these arms. She wanted to play with the hair on his arms, stroking it softly playing with it. She wanted to hear his heartbeat, her ear on his chest, giggling, maybe playing nurse.
She remembered the moments when she crept up on her father's chest. He grabbing her and pulling her up to his warmth and his heartbeat. Laying there was peaceful and safe, warm and lovely.
"Miss, are you alright?" Brooke woke up with a shock. She looked up at a waiter who bent concerned over her. "I'm alright," she spoke rapidly wiping her tears away. She felt embarrassed, smiled lightly and decided to leave. As she walked she noticed nothing. It became clear a few nights ago.
John wrapped his arms around her, Brooke crept inside his arms. "Warm," she sighed contented. He smiled pleasantly, contented as well. He held her close, sniffing in her hair and stroking her back. It was nothing of a love-affair, it was just love. It was safe, stronger than anything, stronger than the love Brooke had felt for a boy, years ago, back at home. After laying there for a while she shifted a little, looking up at the face of someone so close to her, yet so far away. "Daddy," she whispered.
Since the death of her father the relationship between her mother became strange. Brooke didn't feel the relationship, it died a bit. Her mother actually felt it very strong, and she clung to it almost hysterically. Brooke had felt as if she couldn't breath anymore and she had to leave. Remembering that made her long to her father even more.
* * *
When Cyb came home Brooke sat on her bed watching some photo's of her father. Cyb looked at her face, she could see Brooke had cried. Still she didn't want to say anything to Brooke, even though it felt so cold. Cyb had lost her father as well, and she knew how much pain something like that could cause. "Hey, you're alright?" she asked finally. Brooke looked, not used to any contact with Cyb anymore. The only thing she could do was nodding. She was far too sad to be mad with Cyb. After a moment consideration Cyb started talking. "It's hard isn't it? It sucks, losing your father. I know how it feels, I lost him too, 3 years ago now." Cyb studied Brooke carefully, she tried to find out what Brooke was thinking. Cyb didn't feel like having another preach from Brooke and she didn't want to fight neither. Brooke was collecting some courage to speak, breathing deeply. Cyb watched, waited for what was coming. Brooke had finally the courage and she lifted her face, her eyes meeting Cyb's, she opened her mouth to speak.
I wrote this years ago, or actualy about one year after my dad died. A lot of it is still true. I never finished that story though. Right now, I don't want to finish it. Maybe one day I will.
Looking back, I realized, a lot of my life the past 10 years, I lived online. That was pretty much where it started. This is still wear I live and wear I love. I need a daddy t-shirt.
www.blendapparel.com
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
the Spectator and his Expectations
It's not that I'm disappointed with Jason's reaction to his Grammy wins. It's not even because Jason seemed somewhat uninterested in what was going on that evening. It's because I experienced that lack of reaction before from other people.
The first one that springs to mind is my mom's reaction on an achievement of mine. I didn't put much meaning behind it, so I even can't remember what the achievement was. What I do remember is telling my mom and my mom reaction kind of not meeting my expectations. To me, she didn't seem as happy or excited about my achievement; I expected more. I thought about it and came to the conclusion I wasn't expecting her to jump up and down in happiness; that would have been weird. How she should have reacted, I couldn't tell so I let it go.
A few weeks back John Mayer visited our little country for the first concert of his 2010 tour. It was all very exciting. Everybody was excited and the fans showed it by making both planned shows go sold out within the presale. The day John was in the country he visited a Dutch tv-show to play a song. To his surprise he also was to receive a golden record for the amount of copies sold of his latest album Battle Studies. He showed his gratitude, but it kind of felt like a formality; saying thank you because he had to. He didn't seem that excited. Once again, I was expecting a little more, but due to the circumstances (me not knowing him and me not knowing anything of his situation at that moment) I let it go.
The same lack of reaction seemed to have plagued Jason. As for Jason's reaction on his Grammy wins: All I heard was "Wow, I won?" and then he just went back to his (not even funny) bro'in joke. He seemed a little uninterested, like he didn't even know who the other nominees in his categories were. I bet he was happy with the wins. Maybe he was just processing the information and the real reaction came out of sight of camera's. But he not even reacted on the presenter's comments and questions about his wins. Even the presenter was expecting more. I conclude that from his comment that Jason's face looked like he just woke up from a nap after hearing he won both Grammy's. I mean who's expecting that?
Check somewhere around 2:10.
I can't say I'm disappointed, because I'm convinced my mom loves me and is proud of me. And I do believe that both John and Jason are grateful for the support of their fans and the acknowledgements they get all around the globe. Sometimes I believe it's in their nature to keep their feelings in control and to themselves. Sometimes I think the information just has to bleed through. Still, sometimes it's nice to get a little more.
Like the reply I got from blend apparel after sending them an e-mail asking if it was possible for me to pay through paypal instead of credit card. I had only asked a question and got a bucket full of sweet words and love back as a reply. That was not what I was asking for, but nice to receive. I suppose I kind of hoped to get that from my mom, John and Jason even though it seemed a bit much.
The received reaction never seems to measure up to the expectations.
The first one that springs to mind is my mom's reaction on an achievement of mine. I didn't put much meaning behind it, so I even can't remember what the achievement was. What I do remember is telling my mom and my mom reaction kind of not meeting my expectations. To me, she didn't seem as happy or excited about my achievement; I expected more. I thought about it and came to the conclusion I wasn't expecting her to jump up and down in happiness; that would have been weird. How she should have reacted, I couldn't tell so I let it go.
A few weeks back John Mayer visited our little country for the first concert of his 2010 tour. It was all very exciting. Everybody was excited and the fans showed it by making both planned shows go sold out within the presale. The day John was in the country he visited a Dutch tv-show to play a song. To his surprise he also was to receive a golden record for the amount of copies sold of his latest album Battle Studies. He showed his gratitude, but it kind of felt like a formality; saying thank you because he had to. He didn't seem that excited. Once again, I was expecting a little more, but due to the circumstances (me not knowing him and me not knowing anything of his situation at that moment) I let it go.
The same lack of reaction seemed to have plagued Jason. As for Jason's reaction on his Grammy wins: All I heard was "Wow, I won?" and then he just went back to his (not even funny) bro'in joke. He seemed a little uninterested, like he didn't even know who the other nominees in his categories were. I bet he was happy with the wins. Maybe he was just processing the information and the real reaction came out of sight of camera's. But he not even reacted on the presenter's comments and questions about his wins. Even the presenter was expecting more. I conclude that from his comment that Jason's face looked like he just woke up from a nap after hearing he won both Grammy's. I mean who's expecting that?
Check somewhere around 2:10.
I can't say I'm disappointed, because I'm convinced my mom loves me and is proud of me. And I do believe that both John and Jason are grateful for the support of their fans and the acknowledgements they get all around the globe. Sometimes I believe it's in their nature to keep their feelings in control and to themselves. Sometimes I think the information just has to bleed through. Still, sometimes it's nice to get a little more.
Like the reply I got from blend apparel after sending them an e-mail asking if it was possible for me to pay through paypal instead of credit card. I had only asked a question and got a bucket full of sweet words and love back as a reply. That was not what I was asking for, but nice to receive. I suppose I kind of hoped to get that from my mom, John and Jason even though it seemed a bit much.
The received reaction never seems to measure up to the expectations.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Credits Where Credits Are Due
Bill Silva message (not quite a blog, but we accept the apollogies):
Those are valid reasons. And I was once again proved, the Grammy's organization is NUTS!
And as of now, I am starting the tradition of posting my boy(s) suit pictures for the event.
Looking good this year, Mr.A-Z.
His choice of shoes keeps baffling me. His hair on the other hand, is fascinating.
We are so excited for Jason to be acknowledged by the music community with Grammy Awards in the categories of Best Male Pop Vocal for "Make it Mine" and Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals where he was honored along with Colbie Caillat for "Lucky." Both categories are typically announced during the broadcast of the Grammy show, and we believed they would be part of the broadcast this year until we departed for the show and got a text on the way saying that the show's running order had changed. The final run through of performance rehearsals dictated the need for more time for performances and less time for awards, and it was then that we learned that both categories were to be awarded in the pre-telecast. We had made some press commitments prior and had no way to change them, but hoped we would be finished in time to have Jason in attendance for the second half of the awards. It didn't work out. I'm disappointed that Jason wasn't able to be seen thanking his fans and friends for all of their support over the years leading up to the acknowledgment by the Recording Academy. I got to watch his dad tear up with joy when we got word that Jason had won both, and it made the moment ever so precious.
Those are valid reasons. And I was once again proved, the Grammy's organization is NUTS!
And as of now, I am starting the tradition of posting my boy(s) suit pictures for the event.
Looking good this year, Mr.A-Z.
His choice of shoes keeps baffling me. His hair on the other hand, is fascinating.
Grammy for Rant - edition 2010
Why did I reply in a topic on RKOP? Probably because there was another non-discussion going on and retreating into ‘yay’ and ‘nay’ saying. Or maybe I was unpleasantly surprised by Jason’s absence when he did win his Grammy’s.
Where the hell was he? Apparently, on the red carpet having his picture taken in his eco-friendly suit and ‘peeking’ at other celebs. Weird. Wasn’t he a bit curious to know if he won or not? Especially concerning the Grammy’s an artist is completely at the mercy of a big group of people who have to appreciate your product (be it a song, an album, or vocals, or just the artist him/her/itself) more than the product of your fellow nominees. So when you do win, it does mean something, even though the Grammy crowd do tend to make weird choices. Wouldn’t it only be polite to accept your award and say thank you?
Don’t get me wrong, I think he deserved to win and I still think the Grammy’s are bogus, but it does deserve some level of appreciation from the artist.
What baffles me the most is the fact it was this time Jason Mraz, Mr. Gratitude, who decided something else deserved his presence more than the award giving part of the Grammy organization. It makes me wonder what was more special and more deserving. In my mind, I can’t think of anything that could happen on the red carpet that deserves more attention from Jason than the crowd who found him worthy of receiving an award and with that public recognition. Not on that red carpet, not that precise evening.
I can only think of reasons that will sound selfish and/or arrogant to the incidental passerby.
Jason choose showing off his eco-friendly suit on the red carpet over saying thank you for receiving an award and showing his suit off there.
Jason choose peeking at his fave celebs over saying thank you for receiving an award.
Jason preferred to talk himself up to the outside press, instead of being humble to the inside Grammy crowd.
Jason preferred his own enjoyment over that of a big crowd who were trying to honour him.
Only this one is kind of positive:
Jason choose to talk his environmental speech to the outside press, instead of practising gratitude and telling inside his environmental speech.
Still, even the last one won’t stand, cause he would probably spend more time on the red carpet than on the stage accepting anyway, so enough time to have done both.
To be honest, I’m scared he’s not going to provide an explanation and will completely overlook the crowd who thought him to be worthy of receiving those Grammy’s.
You will see, the day after I post this, Jason will post a blog explaining, apologizing and thanking everyone including the Grammy crowd.
Where the hell was he? Apparently, on the red carpet having his picture taken in his eco-friendly suit and ‘peeking’ at other celebs. Weird. Wasn’t he a bit curious to know if he won or not? Especially concerning the Grammy’s an artist is completely at the mercy of a big group of people who have to appreciate your product (be it a song, an album, or vocals, or just the artist him/her/itself) more than the product of your fellow nominees. So when you do win, it does mean something, even though the Grammy crowd do tend to make weird choices. Wouldn’t it only be polite to accept your award and say thank you?
Don’t get me wrong, I think he deserved to win and I still think the Grammy’s are bogus, but it does deserve some level of appreciation from the artist.
What baffles me the most is the fact it was this time Jason Mraz, Mr. Gratitude, who decided something else deserved his presence more than the award giving part of the Grammy organization. It makes me wonder what was more special and more deserving. In my mind, I can’t think of anything that could happen on the red carpet that deserves more attention from Jason than the crowd who found him worthy of receiving an award and with that public recognition. Not on that red carpet, not that precise evening.
I can only think of reasons that will sound selfish and/or arrogant to the incidental passerby.
Jason choose showing off his eco-friendly suit on the red carpet over saying thank you for receiving an award and showing his suit off there.
Jason choose peeking at his fave celebs over saying thank you for receiving an award.
Jason preferred to talk himself up to the outside press, instead of being humble to the inside Grammy crowd.
Jason preferred his own enjoyment over that of a big crowd who were trying to honour him.
Only this one is kind of positive:
Jason choose to talk his environmental speech to the outside press, instead of practising gratitude and telling inside his environmental speech.
Still, even the last one won’t stand, cause he would probably spend more time on the red carpet than on the stage accepting anyway, so enough time to have done both.
To be honest, I’m scared he’s not going to provide an explanation and will completely overlook the crowd who thought him to be worthy of receiving those Grammy’s.
You will see, the day after I post this, Jason will post a blog explaining, apologizing and thanking everyone including the Grammy crowd.
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