My mom comes to us this Christmas instead of us going to her. It's a new development, which is good.
Christmas has been a bit shaky at our place the passed 7 years. It started being shaky in the year my father died.
My father had MS and his condition went bad real quick in 2000. He never made it to Christmas.
All the years before 2000 it was tradition that my grandparents came on Christmas day. My mom would cook way too much. My grandpa told us to pray with our hands lowered to chest height. Funny memories. After dinner, which lasted from 12.00pm to 2.00pm, we would go outside to see some Christmas markets and such. It was as simple as that.
First my grandpa died, I belief in 1995, but that was no show stopper concerning Christmas. Then in 2000 my dad died and my grandma was suffering from Alzheimer. The first Christmas without dad, we spent in a holiday chalet far away from home. My mother hadn't been away from home with Christmas for as long as I remember. It was a lot of fun, and it took some pressure from the missing of my dad. Still, my mum told us she didn't like being away from home with Christmas.
The following years were distressful. My mum wanted to cook way too much. My brother wanted to go to the Christmas session in the village and I wanted to watch Christmas films while my mum wanted to spend a quiet Christmas day with us. It was just the three of us, and after 2.00pm, the two of us. I could feel the tension hanging in the air, and it caused a Christmas defect in my Christmas feeling. That was when I started to dread Christmas; the obligations I couldn't really live up to.
Previous year it started to change. I moved out of the house (kinda) and had a boyfriend. My brother, who had a girlfriend, wouldn't be there with Christmas. Me and my boyfriend decided to spend the Christmas with my ma, since she would be alone and my bf's boyfriend didn't really care. We tried to drag her along to Maastricht for some Christmas sight-seeing, but she didn't want to. Bullocks!
This year my mum has a manfriend (ah, c'mon, you can't call it a boyfriend!!!) and my brother won't be inlands this year again. We had to change something, battle the Christmas demons, so I decided to invite her and her manfriend to our house. We just have to figure out what we will do. We didn't quite plan anything yet, but I've got good hopes things will start to look better from now on. No more Novembers filled with dreading Decembers.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
C'est Une Belle Journée - Part II
I don't really have that much to say. I must say tho, that my heart sings, since the sentence is firmly stampeded into my head. Yes, I'm still in the Lovely Day status. It's just, it sounds so loverly from his mouth. Makes me wanna swallow; I can feel his voice inside my throat singing away: C'est Une Belle Journée. While he's long done singing it, I am still in that mode. Not that I really mean it, it's just, it sounds so sweet.
Times before Christmas are always kind of frantic. A lot has to be done before the year closes and the books will follow shortly. It's always dark and cold and tiresome. Don't spend your days in office, or do, if you can't handle the same amount of sun inside and outside the office. I am awaiting after Christmas, when the new year has begun. Simply cause we can start anew and take on new adventures. I don't want to think about how I screwed up in the same way as the year before. For that the year's too new and too filled with hope. It's just so sweet.
I always feel it's much lighter after Christmas. Fact is, it's just as dark, tho the shortest day has passed already by then. That's a good feeling. It's also the path to spring. I still prefer spring over fall. I don't like falling. Funnily, fall always makes me aware of the seasons, and I really like the fact that seasons exist. I like the changing, not the season itself persé. It divides the year, and that's how I live and work. Always longing to something new.
The seasons may come and go and will be back again each year. Years, however, disappear forever.
Nice!
Times before Christmas are always kind of frantic. A lot has to be done before the year closes and the books will follow shortly. It's always dark and cold and tiresome. Don't spend your days in office, or do, if you can't handle the same amount of sun inside and outside the office. I am awaiting after Christmas, when the new year has begun. Simply cause we can start anew and take on new adventures. I don't want to think about how I screwed up in the same way as the year before. For that the year's too new and too filled with hope. It's just so sweet.
I always feel it's much lighter after Christmas. Fact is, it's just as dark, tho the shortest day has passed already by then. That's a good feeling. It's also the path to spring. I still prefer spring over fall. I don't like falling. Funnily, fall always makes me aware of the seasons, and I really like the fact that seasons exist. I like the changing, not the season itself persé. It divides the year, and that's how I live and work. Always longing to something new.
The seasons may come and go and will be back again each year. Years, however, disappear forever.
Nice!
Monday, November 26, 2007
C'est Une Belle Journée
I hear it ringing in my head over and over again. I hear clear tones against foul words. The contradiction makes me laugh. C'est Une Belle Journée. The words ring so clear, they make the foul words not so bad. And if you keep hearing it over and over again (preferably in the sweet voice I'm hearing it in) you start to belief in it. C'est Une Belle Journée.
[url=http://www.blogotheque.net/article.php3?id_article=3664]C'est Une Belle Journée[/url]
When I watch that video, I only half belief it; c'est une belle journée. It's something about his being; the way he acts and the way he doesn't seem to be completely there. I've got the feeling that he really is a far away, somewhere we can't reach him. It makes him mysterious, and that makes me even more curios and it draws me even closer to him. It's fascinating. Especially since he stirs something in me, or the songs he recently wrote. I don't think I've been ever so eager to hear a new album. It's in the making.
C'est une belle journée.
There's good weather on the horizon. I can see him perking up as the promo starts again. He knows it'll leave him exhausted, but at least he will be out again. That's when the words starting ringing true. For it might stir something in my soul, I'm quite sure it stirs more than one heart, and maybe even his own. That would be nice. It might take a few years before he can really appreciate the meanings of the words or the notes set to them. I don't know. I'm just guessing. I just hope he will be free some day.
[url=http://www.blogotheque.net/article.php3?id_article=3664]C'est Une Belle Journée[/url]
When I watch that video, I only half belief it; c'est une belle journée. It's something about his being; the way he acts and the way he doesn't seem to be completely there. I've got the feeling that he really is a far away, somewhere we can't reach him. It makes him mysterious, and that makes me even more curios and it draws me even closer to him. It's fascinating. Especially since he stirs something in me, or the songs he recently wrote. I don't think I've been ever so eager to hear a new album. It's in the making.
C'est une belle journée.
There's good weather on the horizon. I can see him perking up as the promo starts again. He knows it'll leave him exhausted, but at least he will be out again. That's when the words starting ringing true. For it might stir something in my soul, I'm quite sure it stirs more than one heart, and maybe even his own. That would be nice. It might take a few years before he can really appreciate the meanings of the words or the notes set to them. I don't know. I'm just guessing. I just hope he will be free some day.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
It's a Fruit!
I am still amazed about how we still judge others on the differences between each other while no one is the same to any other person on this planet. Almost no one has the right face and what is 'right' anyway? Just think! All the minorities together make the majority in this world which makes the majority (the 'normal' people) the minority. We compare black to white (and scale all that's not white enough to black). We compare male to female (and forget about the people who happen to fall inbetween). We compare poor to rich (while most people fall right inbetween). We compare abled to disabled (and scale, once again, all that's not abled enough to disabled). We compare ordered to disordered (while a lot of the so-called disordered happen to be not that disordered). We compare smart to dumb (while the smart people are often not always that smart). And so on...
And still we tell each other not to compare apples to peers. Yeah, you know what, it's all fruit! It doesn't make the apple better than the peer or the other way around. It just makes another kind of fruit with their own taste, feel and look to it.
I just don't understand.
And still we tell each other not to compare apples to peers. Yeah, you know what, it's all fruit! It doesn't make the apple better than the peer or the other way around. It just makes another kind of fruit with their own taste, feel and look to it.
I just don't understand.
Friday, November 16, 2007
the 15th
I don't write this because it's the 15th tho I tried to write something on the 15th, but I decided I wasn't inspired at all....No, that's a lie. I tried today and decided I wasn't inspired at all, but I wanted the title 'the 15th' match the numbers of days we ventured into November, only in reality we already reached the 16th day. Bugger, or should I say blogger. Beside that, I finally admitted to the RKOP folks that I blog. So lo-'n-b'hold, here's my 15th blog.
Actually, it's not even my 15th blog. I blogged way more, just in other places. I switch places so many times that I usually never get my blog count higher than 15. So, from now on it's gonna be exciting to see if something new will sprout from my brains unto the screen stuck to the page with the url http://www.wiwipedia.blogger.com/.
That was my ramble about the 15th.
Actually, it's not even my 15th blog. I blogged way more, just in other places. I switch places so many times that I usually never get my blog count higher than 15. So, from now on it's gonna be exciting to see if something new will sprout from my brains unto the screen stuck to the page with the url http://www.wiwipedia.blogger.com/.
That was my ramble about the 15th.
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