Monday, July 21, 2008

I Noticed Some Patterns

I looked around the office this afternoon and noticed how dull it is. And then I'm sitting in a smaller space; the bigger space is even worse. I also noticed that, people who spend too much time in these spaces, start looking like how intelligent the walls look, with drool dripping lips and all. I am stuck there too, so now I busy myself with trying to look smart while I type away stupid little blogs like these.

Today I took another look at one of the forums I frequent. I know that when I'm bored, with or without my work, I start posting compulsively. I came across this message of someone who was completely oblivious to the exsistence of JTM-fanfiction, let alone JTM slash fanfiction. That, in itself, was ok, but the reactions it generated, not so much. It's weird how easy people make senseless assumptions. And since I was bored and annoyed, and slightly offended, I replied about that subject in three different topics, but within the same section.

I also took a listen to the latest JTM show. I noticed that JTM's bassist plays the same solo during every show, and that JTM doesn't try to variate either. It used to be different. When the world was still small and settled in the front garden of San Diego, JTM would play often, and often not the same as the show from one evening ago, or like the evening a week ago. Even his pattern has got stuck into the same old trick. Just as dull as my office walls.

I hardly dare to check out outside. It's been rainy all day. It feels like autumn in summer. It glooms even harder than the walls or JTM's shows. If only it was one day, like one evening of JTM, it wouldn't be that bad. But both seem to be on repeat, not shuffle.

I love the occasional flower blooming out of nothing and then dying just as quickly as soon the rain sets in again and drowns all that's too low to the ground.

I don't wanna do the same dance again. I don't wanna sing the same song again, or drive the same old road to work again. I don't wanna do again, but I keep falling back into patterns. I'm just as stuck as walls, or JTM's shows, or the weather.