I had a bit of a weird afternoon.
Okay, I have a confession to make. I do laugh when watching “That Look” (you know which look). Not a loud laugh, rather an endearing laugh. It amuses me in an endearing kind of way. I’m still confused though.
I just googled Numberwang and I’m none the wiser. I did watch and read a piece about Numberwang’s history and the shows it developed in around the world. This particular piece made me laugh, even though the content remained incomprehensible.
“...It is on Austrailian TV, New Zealand TV and even American TV where instead of saying "Thats NumberWang!!" they say "Yes, That is a number..."
Source: Urban Dictionary
Paraphrased sketch:
American contestant: 22.
American host: Yes, that’s a number!
I’m not sure what “Numberwang” is, but I do know what ”a number” is so my example of a piece of the sketch can be counted as correct.
I was also reading this: "Mitchell looks like a penguin..."
and then thinking: "Oooh, that might be why I like him so much..."
That's not numberwang. Yes, I am using that term to define judgement about certain things and it's just as random as the original game.
Then I stumbled on a blog called "Why they're hot.." in which was described why David Mitchell is hot. I don't exactly agree with most of the points and if I ever walk into both Mitchell & Webb together I'll make sure to keep a distance if only to hide my embarrasment. It was particularly the last point that took me 15 minutes to read, cause I was 1) wondering if we were still talking about the same David Mitchell or 2) fiercely frowning or 3) rolling my eyes or 4) looking away in embarrasment and finally 5) coming to terms with the fact that I was trying to overcome a heat explosion. I also scratched my head a few times, humpfed a few times and laughed a bit.
Odd piece.
On my part, not numberwang at all.
Source: Why They're Hot...
And then I came across a very disturbing topic in which was asked if people thought David looks like Hitler. It is a completely useless, pointless and disturbing question in itself, but then the answers were even more disturbing. One someone said: "Nah, David Mitchell always had his doubts about the Nazis." He only had doubts? Just doubts? I'm not sure that was meant funny. I didn't think it was funny. I thought that was definately not numberwang.
I'm very unnumberwang today. I feel like I'm failing.
Now I come to think of it: when something or someone is Numberwang, it's winning. Above mentioned were rather disturbing and therefore not winning thus not numberwang. I hope I can let this go now, cause I hate sorting everything into numberwang or not. I'd rather compare fruits!!!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's Numberwang!!!!!!!
This weekend I checked out some more Mitchell & Webb. I watched some episodes of “That Mitchell & Webb Look”. I found myself mainly exclaiming: “Jesus!” and “Fuuuck!”, cause a lot of the sketches I found gross, weird and/or incomprehensible. Especially the Numberwang special left me confused. Though somehow they must have done something right, because when I was taking a bath and trying to pleasure myself it was still bouncing around in my head: “Thaaaaaaat’s Numberwang!!!” I don’t even know what it means and if it’s good or bad.
Yesterday I decided to check out Peepshow. I planned to start at the start. Even though I enjoyed that more, it left me feeling awkwardly foolish loser like. It’s not exactly that I can relate; I’m not as socially awkward as Mark is and I’m not such a slob like Jeremy. What made it uncomfortable to me is that it reminded me of my current situation. It’s not satisfactory, my situation, and in a way I am living both Mark’s and Jeremy’s life. Not quite, but somewhat. I do like the start of every episode in the first series at least; it immediately puts across the awkwardness of the following 30 minutes.
The weirdest thing of it all is that I seem to lose my idea of who David Mitchell is. Not that I have a clue, but I do have an idea. Watching him being Mark or any other character in his sketch show throws me off. Let’s start at the beginning; the beginning of me discovering David Mitchell:
Finally getting round to checking out Mr. Alan Rickman, I surfed YouTube to catch as many clips as I could. (That reminds me, I need to check back in p394) One clip was a QI clip in which Alan was discussed shortly and in which John Sessions did some excellent AR impressions. David was there too making a (funny) comment. I had no clue who he was and I could easily step over his presence in that video. I did to be honest, though I wanted him to be remarkable if only for those few seconds. He didn’t seem to fit in the environment at first sight and I, because partly of that reason, wanted him to succeed. It’s something I always have, when someone seems not quite right in the environment I want them to succeed. And when they do, those are the people I love most. Now I come to think of it, the description of his looks as looking like an accountant is very apt. He seemed a nice guy to me; a little quiet and nice and unremarkable like an accountant.
The format of the show really spoke to me and I decided to watch some more QI’s (I suspect all QI episodes ever broadcast are on YouTube). I noticed how the same people seem to come back all the time. At some point I was even cheering after finding out it was another episode with David in it. He was hilarious and managed to put his point across at the same time. Valid points which were well thought through. I was impressed. At that point I was wondering (out loud): “Who the hell is that guy!?” So I YouTubed him. What I found was mind blowing. What I found out was that Mr. Mitchell is an excellent ranter. Trying to blog about this is impossible, because I can’t even think of what I want to write about it, I’d rather put on one of those collection video’s of his rants.
It wasn’t love at the first sight; it took me a week or so to learn to really appreciate his contributions. Now I’m terribly in love with him. I’m trying to find and catch every little tidbit about him and with him in it. And now I have a clue of who he is. I have an idea of what I can expect from him and there I seem to go wrong. At first I mainly watched quiz shows he took part in. That’s as close as a view of David Mitchell you can get. I realize he probably doesn’t spill all the beans and keeps his private self to himself as much as possible. Yet, in the way he plays his games and the way he presents himself and the vibe it causes gives me at least a good idea of who David Mitchell is. I’m so used to seeing only his top half that watching him walk around already throws me off; he’s got long legs, he’s taller than I expected him to be. Then when he does sketches or acts he throws me off completely. His voice even seems to change somewhat. I don’t know, it just feels uncomfortable to me. I want David and not someone impersonating, though Rob Brydon does an excellent David Mitchell impression.
Those quizzes and the other comedians in them don’t fool me either, no matter how hard they try. They’re often trying to paint David as a ridiculously posh person or as a nerd. They often seem to pick on him or tease him trying to get a rant out of him. What’s so funny about that is that they don’t succeed and David often puts them in their place. So in the end David wins. The audience agrees.
I’m not sure, but I think he sometimes worries about they’re trying to paint him in a way he isn’t in reality. I think the audience already has an idea about who he is, and I don’t think they see him as posh or nerdy. I think they see an intelligent witty person they appreciate a great deal. And yet if not the other comedians succeed, he does himself. The vibe about him when he’s doing especially “Peepshow” and sometimes “That Mitchell & Webb Look” provides more that nerdy posh feel. I suppose that means David does his job, both of them, really well, but it makes me nervous and it doesn’t help in creating the most correct idea of who David Mitchell is. I find myself craving to watch my favourite QI video’s or rant videos after watching “That Look” and “Peepshow”.
I also have the feeling my grammar and spelling and overall writing is terrible in this blog and that I don’t do David any justice for which I apologize.
After all this blog doesn't turn out to be numberwang at all...or does it? Time to google.
Yesterday I decided to check out Peepshow. I planned to start at the start. Even though I enjoyed that more, it left me feeling awkwardly foolish loser like. It’s not exactly that I can relate; I’m not as socially awkward as Mark is and I’m not such a slob like Jeremy. What made it uncomfortable to me is that it reminded me of my current situation. It’s not satisfactory, my situation, and in a way I am living both Mark’s and Jeremy’s life. Not quite, but somewhat. I do like the start of every episode in the first series at least; it immediately puts across the awkwardness of the following 30 minutes.
The weirdest thing of it all is that I seem to lose my idea of who David Mitchell is. Not that I have a clue, but I do have an idea. Watching him being Mark or any other character in his sketch show throws me off. Let’s start at the beginning; the beginning of me discovering David Mitchell:
Finally getting round to checking out Mr. Alan Rickman, I surfed YouTube to catch as many clips as I could. (That reminds me, I need to check back in p394) One clip was a QI clip in which Alan was discussed shortly and in which John Sessions did some excellent AR impressions. David was there too making a (funny) comment. I had no clue who he was and I could easily step over his presence in that video. I did to be honest, though I wanted him to be remarkable if only for those few seconds. He didn’t seem to fit in the environment at first sight and I, because partly of that reason, wanted him to succeed. It’s something I always have, when someone seems not quite right in the environment I want them to succeed. And when they do, those are the people I love most. Now I come to think of it, the description of his looks as looking like an accountant is very apt. He seemed a nice guy to me; a little quiet and nice and unremarkable like an accountant.
The format of the show really spoke to me and I decided to watch some more QI’s (I suspect all QI episodes ever broadcast are on YouTube). I noticed how the same people seem to come back all the time. At some point I was even cheering after finding out it was another episode with David in it. He was hilarious and managed to put his point across at the same time. Valid points which were well thought through. I was impressed. At that point I was wondering (out loud): “Who the hell is that guy!?” So I YouTubed him. What I found was mind blowing. What I found out was that Mr. Mitchell is an excellent ranter. Trying to blog about this is impossible, because I can’t even think of what I want to write about it, I’d rather put on one of those collection video’s of his rants.
It wasn’t love at the first sight; it took me a week or so to learn to really appreciate his contributions. Now I’m terribly in love with him. I’m trying to find and catch every little tidbit about him and with him in it. And now I have a clue of who he is. I have an idea of what I can expect from him and there I seem to go wrong. At first I mainly watched quiz shows he took part in. That’s as close as a view of David Mitchell you can get. I realize he probably doesn’t spill all the beans and keeps his private self to himself as much as possible. Yet, in the way he plays his games and the way he presents himself and the vibe it causes gives me at least a good idea of who David Mitchell is. I’m so used to seeing only his top half that watching him walk around already throws me off; he’s got long legs, he’s taller than I expected him to be. Then when he does sketches or acts he throws me off completely. His voice even seems to change somewhat. I don’t know, it just feels uncomfortable to me. I want David and not someone impersonating, though Rob Brydon does an excellent David Mitchell impression.
Those quizzes and the other comedians in them don’t fool me either, no matter how hard they try. They’re often trying to paint David as a ridiculously posh person or as a nerd. They often seem to pick on him or tease him trying to get a rant out of him. What’s so funny about that is that they don’t succeed and David often puts them in their place. So in the end David wins. The audience agrees.
I’m not sure, but I think he sometimes worries about they’re trying to paint him in a way he isn’t in reality. I think the audience already has an idea about who he is, and I don’t think they see him as posh or nerdy. I think they see an intelligent witty person they appreciate a great deal. And yet if not the other comedians succeed, he does himself. The vibe about him when he’s doing especially “Peepshow” and sometimes “That Mitchell & Webb Look” provides more that nerdy posh feel. I suppose that means David does his job, both of them, really well, but it makes me nervous and it doesn’t help in creating the most correct idea of who David Mitchell is. I find myself craving to watch my favourite QI video’s or rant videos after watching “That Look” and “Peepshow”.
I also have the feeling my grammar and spelling and overall writing is terrible in this blog and that I don’t do David any justice for which I apologize.
After all this blog doesn't turn out to be numberwang at all...or does it? Time to google.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sexual? Family??
Weirdest thing I've read today: "David Mitchell (the actor. i've been only talking about the actor) is sexual."
I don't even know what that means. It seems a weird fact to state. It would have been more interesting (and even weirder) if it said "David Mitchell is not sexual".
I don't even know what that means. It seems a weird fact to state. It would have been more interesting (and even weirder) if it said "David Mitchell is not sexual".
I Don't Know
It seems like a lie. There’s some truth to it, yet on the other hand I do know.
This weekend I have indulged myself in the typical culture of English comedy. I watched two days worth of QI episodes. The same people seem to come back as guests all the time. Out of curiosity I googled and youtubed David Mitchell, because I thought he was clever and funny at the same time. I found out his professional life exists out of being in quiz show panels for half of the time and that he wasn’t exactly the only one filling half of his working time with playing games. Several of these comedians kept popping up as quiz hosts or panel members. I think it’s quite curious one can make a living out of playing games. However, the contents of loads of these shows justify their existence and some of these comedians are really quite sharp and clever and obviously witty and some are not.
No, I’m not going to be funny right now. Watching youtube the whole weekend (including the nights) makes me feel sort of tired and uninspired to work which makes me cranky. I feel like a fool for trying to make and put out something sensible while I can also go sit in a panel and have fun. The last world cup for football comes to mind as well. While these clowns were focusing on kicking around a ball I was trying to makes sense of the mess that is my job. Once again I felt like a fool for being in office instead of having some fun.
I do believe in the good of entertainment, that includes world cup football and English comedy quizzes. It helps you take your mind off of things. It helps you relax (or tense up) and have some mindless fun in the safety of your own living room or around friends in a bar. It wasn’t my intention to state the obvious, I just wanted to point out that I didn’t mean to shoot down anyone, and I wanted to point out I was feeling silly for being at work.
To my own embarrassment I enjoyed both immensely. I spent quite a few hot days inside hiding from the sun and watching football match analysis or some English quiz. I spent loads of time listening to people having opinions and being passionate about it. It both, football and quizzing, seems to come down to the same thing. Us against us and whining about all the things that is wrong with this world. Interesting.
Now I am here, typing out another blog and I’m still talking about the world cup and English (quiz) comedy. That was not what I intended to write yesterday. Yesterday I was still raving over David Mitchell’s cleverness and wittiness. I still believe he deserves that, me raving about him in public; he says the things I say, only in public while I’m talking to walls or write blogs which are not read. Though honestly, my blog doesn’t come across as clever as he does. I hope he won’t google himself anymore after I posted this, or at least that he won’t come here to see why I written his name down. I don’t think I’m a match to him. And also my writing skills are really not that great especially this morning. That’s what you get for watching his rants till deep in the night.
The one reason I brought up his name was to recommend him to others who might be reading this. I also planned to add a QI video, but since I’m at work there’s no way I’m going on youtube to find something interesting and funny. So this is going to be another colourless blog.
My heart is obviously full of this English entertainment culture thing; I’m blogging about it and in my cigarette break I was talking about it to a colleague. It really is a different culture. In Holland we don’t really have anything like this. There are a few quizzes which are filled up with famous Dutch people being funny, but these formats we actually copied/bought from England. All the rest of the Dutch quizzes are for regular people being very serious in playing and winning, not in being funny. Neither do our comedians, the few we have, spend a lot of their time quizzing; they’re actually on stage. I do miss that.
I have a few English friends of which two I try to visit on a regular basis. My English girlfriend asks me on every visit “Do you want to go there so you can watch filming and maybe meet the cast?” or “Have you ever seen this, cause it’s so funny?”. I never have and I’m never interested in going there. Stupid really, because she’s right, it is fun and I appreciate a lot of these actors and comedians a lot. Another friend introduced me to Jimmy Carr; I always thought he was weird. I don’t know why. He made me sit through some audition kind of program Mister Carr once did to find new comedians. He also introduced me to Little Britain and made me sit through a day of watching that series. I’m wondering how Peepshow slipped through, though my girlfriend did try to make me watch the Bubble, but for some reason we never did. I think I told her I thought the concept was stupid. Turns out, the concept is usually not what it is about in English comedy. I watched one episode of the Bubble and it was hilarious. Though me not knowing who all these people are makes it sometimes incomprehensible to me. I just said that friend tried to make me watch the Bubble; I’m not sure it was that quiz. I’ll ask her.
Tonight I’ll watch some more quizzes and I’ll post a QI vid.
Other things to do:
Check Twitter for various comedians: Stephen Fry is on there I know and David Mitchell. Could be fun, though I hate Twitter.
This weekend I have indulged myself in the typical culture of English comedy. I watched two days worth of QI episodes. The same people seem to come back as guests all the time. Out of curiosity I googled and youtubed David Mitchell, because I thought he was clever and funny at the same time. I found out his professional life exists out of being in quiz show panels for half of the time and that he wasn’t exactly the only one filling half of his working time with playing games. Several of these comedians kept popping up as quiz hosts or panel members. I think it’s quite curious one can make a living out of playing games. However, the contents of loads of these shows justify their existence and some of these comedians are really quite sharp and clever and obviously witty and some are not.
No, I’m not going to be funny right now. Watching youtube the whole weekend (including the nights) makes me feel sort of tired and uninspired to work which makes me cranky. I feel like a fool for trying to make and put out something sensible while I can also go sit in a panel and have fun. The last world cup for football comes to mind as well. While these clowns were focusing on kicking around a ball I was trying to makes sense of the mess that is my job. Once again I felt like a fool for being in office instead of having some fun.
I do believe in the good of entertainment, that includes world cup football and English comedy quizzes. It helps you take your mind off of things. It helps you relax (or tense up) and have some mindless fun in the safety of your own living room or around friends in a bar. It wasn’t my intention to state the obvious, I just wanted to point out that I didn’t mean to shoot down anyone, and I wanted to point out I was feeling silly for being at work.
To my own embarrassment I enjoyed both immensely. I spent quite a few hot days inside hiding from the sun and watching football match analysis or some English quiz. I spent loads of time listening to people having opinions and being passionate about it. It both, football and quizzing, seems to come down to the same thing. Us against us and whining about all the things that is wrong with this world. Interesting.
Now I am here, typing out another blog and I’m still talking about the world cup and English (quiz) comedy. That was not what I intended to write yesterday. Yesterday I was still raving over David Mitchell’s cleverness and wittiness. I still believe he deserves that, me raving about him in public; he says the things I say, only in public while I’m talking to walls or write blogs which are not read. Though honestly, my blog doesn’t come across as clever as he does. I hope he won’t google himself anymore after I posted this, or at least that he won’t come here to see why I written his name down. I don’t think I’m a match to him. And also my writing skills are really not that great especially this morning. That’s what you get for watching his rants till deep in the night.
The one reason I brought up his name was to recommend him to others who might be reading this. I also planned to add a QI video, but since I’m at work there’s no way I’m going on youtube to find something interesting and funny. So this is going to be another colourless blog.
My heart is obviously full of this English entertainment culture thing; I’m blogging about it and in my cigarette break I was talking about it to a colleague. It really is a different culture. In Holland we don’t really have anything like this. There are a few quizzes which are filled up with famous Dutch people being funny, but these formats we actually copied/bought from England. All the rest of the Dutch quizzes are for regular people being very serious in playing and winning, not in being funny. Neither do our comedians, the few we have, spend a lot of their time quizzing; they’re actually on stage. I do miss that.
I have a few English friends of which two I try to visit on a regular basis. My English girlfriend asks me on every visit “Do you want to go there so you can watch filming and maybe meet the cast?” or “Have you ever seen this, cause it’s so funny?”. I never have and I’m never interested in going there. Stupid really, because she’s right, it is fun and I appreciate a lot of these actors and comedians a lot. Another friend introduced me to Jimmy Carr; I always thought he was weird. I don’t know why. He made me sit through some audition kind of program Mister Carr once did to find new comedians. He also introduced me to Little Britain and made me sit through a day of watching that series. I’m wondering how Peepshow slipped through, though my girlfriend did try to make me watch the Bubble, but for some reason we never did. I think I told her I thought the concept was stupid. Turns out, the concept is usually not what it is about in English comedy. I watched one episode of the Bubble and it was hilarious. Though me not knowing who all these people are makes it sometimes incomprehensible to me. I just said that friend tried to make me watch the Bubble; I’m not sure it was that quiz. I’ll ask her.
Tonight I’ll watch some more quizzes and I’ll post a QI vid.
Other things to do:
Check Twitter for various comedians: Stephen Fry is on there I know and David Mitchell. Could be fun, though I hate Twitter.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Robbie rejoined Take That
This is a reply to a facebook comment:
Yeah, 13 years old but 20 years older. You just named the exact problem I have with that. I am NOT 13 anymore, godthank. My taste developed and I found out that what they were doing and what they are doing now, doesn't agree anymore with my interests. Also, I'm not really willing to go back to that era, cause I'm rather proud of the development I made. Knowing Take That is back and doing it again to me feels like the passed 20 years never happened. That makes me think; What Happened!? It feels like having lost the years I gained. I thought, admittedly a few years after their breakup, it was the most brilliant thing that happened. It gave me fond memories and the oppertunity to move on; develop. Why would I want to give up that for sentimental feelings that aren't mine anymore in the first place?
Okay, so I've been breathing through my left nostril (courtesy of QI; I'm not even sure I've got that right) or I have been watching too many David Mitchell youtubes.
Yeah, 13 years old but 20 years older. You just named the exact problem I have with that. I am NOT 13 anymore, godthank. My taste developed and I found out that what they were doing and what they are doing now, doesn't agree anymore with my interests. Also, I'm not really willing to go back to that era, cause I'm rather proud of the development I made. Knowing Take That is back and doing it again to me feels like the passed 20 years never happened. That makes me think; What Happened!? It feels like having lost the years I gained. I thought, admittedly a few years after their breakup, it was the most brilliant thing that happened. It gave me fond memories and the oppertunity to move on; develop. Why would I want to give up that for sentimental feelings that aren't mine anymore in the first place?
Okay, so I've been breathing through my left nostril (courtesy of QI; I'm not even sure I've got that right) or I have been watching too many David Mitchell youtubes.
Friday, July 9, 2010
State of Mind...on and on...
Today I'm a little tired and annoyed with my work and the organization I'm in. Today I used my private situation as an excuse to **ck around and to tell people about it. Sure it sucks, but it's the work that bothers me really. Yesterday afternoon I spent two hours drinking coffee with people, complaining with people and just hanging around...with people; everything to not have to do my work. Today is not much different.
The tendency this organization has is completely ridiculous and shameful. It makes people lazy or fighting. Neither is productive. It makes me tired and annoyed. This morning I wanted to smash my screen to pieces and go home. I didn't. Instead I requested a conversation with a social worker and I talked to my team leader. I have every reason and allowance to go home. As if I want to be home right now. As if that house feels like a home right now. Not that I don't want to go home, I just can't. But I can't stay hanging in the city either. I have no need for fainting in the city.
Just everything about this organization and my lack of energy for work infuriates me. How can we let this go to pieces like that? At least my own life I can pick up, but this work...No wonder the Dutch citizens think of us the way they do. I can't blame them.
The tendency this organization has is completely ridiculous and shameful. It makes people lazy or fighting. Neither is productive. It makes me tired and annoyed. This morning I wanted to smash my screen to pieces and go home. I didn't. Instead I requested a conversation with a social worker and I talked to my team leader. I have every reason and allowance to go home. As if I want to be home right now. As if that house feels like a home right now. Not that I don't want to go home, I just can't. But I can't stay hanging in the city either. I have no need for fainting in the city.
Just everything about this organization and my lack of energy for work infuriates me. How can we let this go to pieces like that? At least my own life I can pick up, but this work...No wonder the Dutch citizens think of us the way they do. I can't blame them.
My State of Mind
I've been rereading old stories I've written. A lot of really heavy stuff. Combined with all the things happening for real it's a little much too take. Though on the other hand, I'm quite proud of that stuff. I must admit, quite a few of these stories I haven't finished. I started looking to put it all together and make one story out of it. How? I really have no clue. It's just, all that stuff; I don't want to let it go to waste.
I'm standing still in the midst of chaos. It's really just a break from running and trying to catch my breath. Looking around like that, I really ain't very happy with where I am right now. Thing is really true, I am always searching for peace and quiet of mind. Some sort peace & quiet of mind to be able to take the steps that bring me closer to the things I love and the things I dream to do. Even though this years somewhat sucks, I'm still happy with all the oppertunities I get to go and attend the arts I want. Never before I realized so clearly how much I love the arts. It doesn't even matter anymore what it is; I can be just as fascinated and touched by a painting as I will be by a play or song. That's a good thing, and I'm clinging desperately to it. Annoying is how I don't seem to get anywhere close enough to actually be able to enjoy it the way I want to.
On the other hand everything in the work area is going smoothly. A few weeks back I started a new assignment at work and I am now slowly rolling into the processes of releases and into the knowledge of the applications I will be responsible for. It feels wonderful to know you're supporting the support to the paying out the social assurances for people who really need it; like I finally have a community duty. Yet, I don't like my work much. I'm stuck in office 5 days a week for at least 8 hours every of those days. I am stuck to try find and analyze problems, to find solutions and to deal with people. I'm not exactly a one trick pony kind of person. I learnt the trick, I'm doing the trick and I'm bored with it. I am searching for the creativity in my job, but I find myself falling back into the known paths of application maintenance and development. Everything seems to boil down to the same thing; Deal with it.
In all this I am trying to get places; a new home, a new assignment with new conditions, a new and revived feel for arts, London and Dublin, a new place and time in my life. I don't want to run away from it, I do want to deal with it. I have some goals I want to reach and I will work hard for it and sacrifice certain things for it. I know in the end it will all pay off.
I'm standing still in the midst of chaos. It's really just a break from running and trying to catch my breath. Looking around like that, I really ain't very happy with where I am right now. Thing is really true, I am always searching for peace and quiet of mind. Some sort peace & quiet of mind to be able to take the steps that bring me closer to the things I love and the things I dream to do. Even though this years somewhat sucks, I'm still happy with all the oppertunities I get to go and attend the arts I want. Never before I realized so clearly how much I love the arts. It doesn't even matter anymore what it is; I can be just as fascinated and touched by a painting as I will be by a play or song. That's a good thing, and I'm clinging desperately to it. Annoying is how I don't seem to get anywhere close enough to actually be able to enjoy it the way I want to.
On the other hand everything in the work area is going smoothly. A few weeks back I started a new assignment at work and I am now slowly rolling into the processes of releases and into the knowledge of the applications I will be responsible for. It feels wonderful to know you're supporting the support to the paying out the social assurances for people who really need it; like I finally have a community duty. Yet, I don't like my work much. I'm stuck in office 5 days a week for at least 8 hours every of those days. I am stuck to try find and analyze problems, to find solutions and to deal with people. I'm not exactly a one trick pony kind of person. I learnt the trick, I'm doing the trick and I'm bored with it. I am searching for the creativity in my job, but I find myself falling back into the known paths of application maintenance and development. Everything seems to boil down to the same thing; Deal with it.
In all this I am trying to get places; a new home, a new assignment with new conditions, a new and revived feel for arts, London and Dublin, a new place and time in my life. I don't want to run away from it, I do want to deal with it. I have some goals I want to reach and I will work hard for it and sacrifice certain things for it. I know in the end it will all pay off.
Friday, July 2, 2010
I'm too hard at work. Have you ever heard of anything so absurd...
- I didn't recycle a by now very old update list which when filled in, really doesn’t say anything about my state of being. I felt so many things were going on in my life and introducing a new phase in my life, I couldn't use the old list anymore.
I'm counting my activities; I don't think I've ever been as busy as I am now:
- Splitting up with my ex results in 1) figuring out and trying to sell the house, 2) figuring out my future financial status, 3) trying to find and buy a new house.
- The new assignment in my job results in 1) having to learn to understand two applications, 2) the processes around those applications.
- Personal professional development results in 1) see point above, 2) taking several courses about a) communication and b) Problem & change analysis (homework: yuck!) and I'm also involved in a project at work and trying to take my forums expertise to a professional level by writing ebooks and have them published by a colleague.
- And of course I want to have some fun which results in 1) trying to figure out travel plans to attend a) concert, b) theatre play and c) friends. Also trying to get the group order done which included more organization than I actually cared for.
- I'm busy, but I'm good. At least I have the feeling my life is going somewhere, unlike the previous passed months.
I'm counting my activities; I don't think I've ever been as busy as I am now:
- Splitting up with my ex results in 1) figuring out and trying to sell the house, 2) figuring out my future financial status, 3) trying to find and buy a new house.
- The new assignment in my job results in 1) having to learn to understand two applications, 2) the processes around those applications.
- Personal professional development results in 1) see point above, 2) taking several courses about a) communication and b) Problem & change analysis (homework: yuck!) and I'm also involved in a project at work and trying to take my forums expertise to a professional level by writing ebooks and have them published by a colleague.
- And of course I want to have some fun which results in 1) trying to figure out travel plans to attend a) concert, b) theatre play and c) friends. Also trying to get the group order done which included more organization than I actually cared for.
- I'm busy, but I'm good. At least I have the feeling my life is going somewhere, unlike the previous passed months.
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