Friday, July 9, 2010

State of Mind...on and on...

Today I'm a little tired and annoyed with my work and the organization I'm in. Today I used my private situation as an excuse to **ck around and to tell people about it. Sure it sucks, but it's the work that bothers me really. Yesterday afternoon I spent two hours drinking coffee with people, complaining with people and just hanging around...with people; everything to not have to do my work. Today is not much different.

The tendency this organization has is completely ridiculous and shameful. It makes people lazy or fighting. Neither is productive. It makes me tired and annoyed. This morning I wanted to smash my screen to pieces and go home. I didn't. Instead I requested a conversation with a social worker and I talked to my team leader. I have every reason and allowance to go home. As if I want to be home right now. As if that house feels like a home right now. Not that I don't want to go home, I just can't. But I can't stay hanging in the city either. I have no need for fainting in the city.

Just everything about this organization and my lack of energy for work infuriates me. How can we let this go to pieces like that? At least my own life I can pick up, but this work...No wonder the Dutch citizens think of us the way they do. I can't blame them.

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