Harry Potter and the Quest for Happiness

Lately I’ve been preoccupied by the Harry Potter films which we (=bf and me) borrowed from my ma-in-law (my bf’s mom, obviously). I never watched the films before, because the world and the thus forthcoming stories have never really been of interest to me; I’d rather see films closer to what’s possible. I must admit I’ve been doing some research on the storyline after having seen the sixth film “the Half-Blood Prince”. The cliff-hanger left me dangling and wondering about Professor Snape, and I needed confirmation Snape is not on the opposite side of Dumbledore. That said, I really don’t care about Harry, so I completely surpassed his presence and moved on to his mother Lily since that is where the story actually started. I must admit I only know that because of the little research I’ve done to who and what Professor Severes Snape is.

The promise I made about replying about Happiness is still in the back of my head, but neglected cause of the entrance of Snape into my brains (I really need to practise me some Occlumency. I can’t believe I actually used that word). I’m writing this entrance, because Snape’s entrance threw me back to thinking of how people achieve happiness. I think no spoilers are needed when I say Snape’s childhood where somewhat rotten and so were his student years. The fact his deep love for Lily isn’t answered doesn’t help either. I didn’t read the books, so I’m basing my thoughts on the film; Snape seems far from happy. Was that because he was too busy performing his duties, or was that because he had to miss the presence of Lily?

Obviously, happiness is not high on his agenda since he’s got other things to do, like sort of babysitting Harry. He mgiht not even be capable of being happy; he doesn’t seem to be the person for it.
On the other hand, Harry might be. He’s obviously not as dark as Snape, even though he has a boat load of things to tend to, like getting ready to battle Voldemort. Still, he does find the time to search for his happiness, or contentment, or whatever is required to achieve some level of happiness.

I don’t have my theories all worked out yet; I will get back to this subject. However, the above does help me a little in phrasing my answer. Before I get back to write a proper piece about Happiness, I’m going to reread the comments so I won’t shoot aimlessly and fail miserably.

Freedom Song

Did I say this morning I knew where I wanted to be opposed to where I actually was physically. In my mind I’ve been in a room watching Jason covering the Freedom Song from Luc & the Lovingtons. For the first time since long, it sounded sincere and passionate to me, unlike all the joy-love-songs Jason’s been writing and singing lately. He sucked me in all over by giving it his best in a voice so clear and a heart so sincere.

I’m not sure why it struck me. I don’t know why the line: “It’s all for you. All for you. All for you. All for you,” stays with me. I think it’s his voice. It’s also the way he’s swinging to the song that stays in my mind. Somehow he reminds me of the boy I fell in love with about 4 years ago. Performing that song he seemed purer.

I’m not sure it feels that way because I heard the other songs or styles so many times, or because he was more into it. All I know is that I seem to feel closer to him than I have the last two years. The last few years I had the feeling I was losing touch with him. I felt like we were drifting apart. I already gave up on trying to follow through. Now he pulled me back for a bit. I’m even listening to his older songs and enjoying those again.

I just can’t imagine it’s the song, cause it’s just as happy and bouncy as most of the songs he’s been writing lately. It boggles my mind. Maybe I should not try to analyze it at all and just enjoy.

Break

I know where I want to be. I’m still sitting on a wooden bench in the burning sun smoking my cigarette. I’m at the point of really getting tired and annoyed at my cigarette. All the rest is fine. I’m sitting backwards on the bench to avoid blowing smoke in the girls’ faces and because I’m a little tired of their conversation about foods they don’t like. Just yet a few minutes back, a young boy snatched our empty plastic cups off the table without asking. Even though I had no intention to bring back the cups for coins, it annoyed me. First of, he could have asked. Second, we all know he was probably dragged along by his parents and was told to go collect cups so he could buy himself a hamburger. All that, the burning sun, the picnic tables, the music blasting from the stage and sweaty people spilling their drinks on you is part of the festival life.

I indeed wrote in my review the concert was not really up to par. Yet, that’s where I want to be right now. Watching people tagging along and buying weird products from huge plastic cups filled with fresh fruit to mugs with a flat face on it. It’s almost romantic. Like the mass hanging over fences in front of the stage and the crispy sound when you stand on a plastic cup again. It’s almost charming all the people elbowing their way to wine and beer, or to the front to be able to catch a closer glimpse of the artist. Especially that particular day, on that particular festival, it was almost magical, but it wasn’t really.

What I’m longing for is the sun on my face. I’m longing for the laziness and abundance and fast-food. The sticky feeling that you need to change clothes and not lift your arms. To listen to music of artists you don’t know and who maybe have potential for success, or not. I’m longing for the times where I know I can leave office and forget about all and everything. Going to take a bite before entering the festival ground and deciding the little restaurant is not worth the price they ask.

I am here though. Outside it’s dark and rainy. Inside it’s work and keeping busy. I’ve been indulging in music. I’ve been submerging in voices and sounds. Things which became so familiar that they got new again. This morning been bliss, even though I was not completely up to energy or anything. Today, I am only sitting listening, remembering.

Elaborations Of My Thoughts About Happiness

"no offence and of course it's your blog with your thoughts so this is not criticism but you seem a little sure of yourself and find that people who think differently have an 'attitude problem'."

Of course I'm pretty sure about the things I say, and if not, I usually put them before a questionmark. With that said I'm not saying I'm right, or that I'm all knowing, cause I'm not. I'm exploring and I'm doing it in public for everybody to read and comment.

But I have to ask you: On what did you base the idea that I 'seem a little sure of' myself? Especially in the blog you commented on I wrote "people were saying to me". In other words, other people were sure and told me to think and do differently. I thought about it and decided they were right. So, what did you base that statement on? Even in other blogs I wrote recently I found nothing but personal questions, experiences and thoughts. Of course I'm sure about those; what I think and feel are the only things I'm sure of.

You should also know that all the things I'm stating here as fact are not even my original ideas, but stolen from scientists, prophets, philosophers, and so on. I don't think in the entirety of my blog I have said one word, that was not about me or my emotions, that was once uttered before by a wiseman who thought hard and well about it. A lot of my theories are stolen from psychology and religion like Buddhism.

Also the comment about that I seem to think differently thinking people have an attitude problem puzzles me. What did you base that on? Was it that message on RKOP? Well, that partly was an attitude problem. However, don't forget it's not easy to change attitudes. Don't forget any attitude is just the product of a brainwash. Those people with the "attitude problem" are not even really to blame, but they are the once who can change it. And no matter how you look at it, but if you want to find happiness, or rather peace of mind, you're going to have to adopt a certain attitude. You can break and make with your own mind way more than most people know or dare to believe. I'm pretty sure about this, cause I've seen it many times and the old wise prophets can't all be wrong.
I would not look at it as an "attitude problem", but rather an attitude that's not going to help you to find the happiness, or warm fuzzy feeling you're looking for. You might find that feeling, but it's not going to be because of that attitude, rather despite of that attitude.

"Don't you think that someone who has the possibility, the time and the energy to think about finding happiness, can't be very unhappy in the first place?"

No, I don't think so. If you read my blog carefully you will find that I think most people are happy without knowing it. Also I know a lot of people are thinking about happiness, because they (think they) feel unhappy. So my question back to you would be: Why would somebody who's not happy not be able to think about finding happiness? I think he is able to think about it, but he might not be able to find the key to happiness. The reasons can be many, for example they think they don't deserve it, or they think it doesn't actually exsist.

The whole happiness thing goes around in circles. Whoever is able to be happy probably always will be or has it easier, even though he has loads to worry about.
On the other hand, the one who can't find happiness probably thinks about it way more, but can't seem to figure out how to be happy and let every bad moment drag him down deeper.
In the end the happy person thinks less about it and just is happy, while the other person thinks about it a lot, but never gets happy.
People tend to forget about the things they have and complain about the things they don't have. They tend to take the things they have for granted and bemoan the things they lack. It's the same with happiness. When people are happy, they're not going to think about it too much, because they already are and they don't need to do anything to become. Only when they don't feel happy they start to think about why and how to become happy again.

Now just forget what I said (because your truth might be different from mine) and tell me: What is happiness to you? Are you happy? And what is peace of mind to you? Do you have peace of mind? Do you think the two have to do with each other? Why or why not?

IQ

There's been a lot of fuzz about Jason's twitter account being hacked. Apparently, some hack posted through Jason's T-account the below:


I'm not sure why the fuzz doesn't seaze to be yet. I suppose people clicked it in hopes they're smarter than Jason and so they can show it off in his next video clip. Would have been a cool action for once, though.

Anyway, I was quite sure I could top the 97, so I did one small test (10 questions)which gave the result of "Between 130 and 160". And a bigger test which gave the result of 106.


Obviously, I'm just bragging right now. Though if any future employer comes across this post, it sure is a good advertizing for me. Now I only have to hope this is all they will read.

P.S. I was surprised to read the average score was 64. I thought the world was smarter. I suspect some idiots have played around with the test generating low scores.

B-day

Yesterday I turned my phone off and watched tv. I spent the whole evening alone on the couch eating Chinese left overs, or I played CW on facebook. It was the quietest birthdays I have ever had. Even at work, most people didn't know it was my birthday.

The only treat I gave myself were three baked bananas covered in greasy dough and warmed up in the oven. Other treats were given unknowingly by my favorite artist in the form of two new songs. One song at least added up to my fantasy enough to carry me away on a short lived daydream.

It was pretty peaceful and sans the regular birthday drama. I received a few digital birthday wishes, one birthday text message which I only saw this morning, and none fysical birthday cards. Also both my mom and her manfriend called, but I didn't pick up, because I kept the phone offline on purpose. It was my birthday so I was going to waste it in my way.

My little brother said to me it seemed like non interest on my part to not invite people for my birthday party (which was not held) or to not answer my phone for the birthday wishes. Truth is, I'd rather invite them any other day to take a guided trip throught the city that is Amsterdam and spend some actual quality time with them.

I came to realize the people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones I am or at least was closest too. From old online daddy and friend Saturn to new friends from the Jason Mraz community to Densie who apologized profusely for forgetting. In the end she didn't forget ;D. And then of course my own family from my cousins to my mom and her manfriend (seriously, I can't call the man her boyfriend, cause he's not a boy; he's a man).

But to show I'm not ungrateful, thanks for all the birthday wishes. I appreciate your attention, compassion and love. You are all very special people to me. ALL of you.