Dorine

What are the right words?

Depending on circuimstance, depending on from who to who the words flow. 

I'm not sure what to write, because I want to do right and I want to be respectful and I definitely want the words to count and mean something.

Last Friday I had a call from my mum. She had some family news, one a bit uplifting, all the rest worrying to downright sad. She started with the uplifting news.

My uncle, who was diagnosed with cancer last year, had some positive test results. He's not out of the woods yet, but it's hopeful.. S

My mum's partner, who battled Covid-19 and has a hard time recovering from it, had not so good test results. It might be cancer, they're not sure and more tests are required.

Then the downright sad news. One of my cousins committed suicide that Friday morning. Completely unexpected. I knew she was struggling with losing her job three years ago. She tried some new jobs, but it wasn't her old job and it didn't satisfy her. On top of that, just like everyone else, she was stuck at home because of Covid-19. She is (was?) a people's person and very active. Not being able to leave the house, meeting people, being busy, contributing and making herself useful, not being able to express herself, she couldn't cope.

The suddenness of it makes you wonder if thoughts of death had been with her already, or if this particular period just simply pushed her over the edge. She was the last person anyone would expect to commit suicide, but it happened.

In a way, it did bring all the cousins from my dad's family together, beit only online in a WhatsApp group. People I haven't talked to for close to 20 years. Another cousin bought a flower bouquet for the funeral, from all cousins. We all contributed to that bouquet. The funeral was filmed and streamed and the link was posted in the WhatsApp group. I watched it. It was poignant. It reminded me of how little I know about their lives now.

We were never very close. She was 17 years older than I am and after grandma died, there was no regular meeting place where I would see any of my cousins.

We are no children anymore either and everybody went off on their own life journeys, starting their own careers, their own families and spreading out over the country. Well, only two of us moved away from Limburg, me and one other cousin who lives in the Hague. In short, we all move in our own circles.

I don't feel like I can say a whole lot more. I also feel other people have a whole lot more reason and right to say things about her. I can say that she will be missed. Even I will miss the extra light she always brought along. Her warmth and empathy was always felt, wherever she went.

Rest in peace, Dorine.  

Mr. G -> Dr. G

Yesterday I introduced the world to my new obsession and called him Mr. G. It should be Dr. G. My apollogies Dr. G! I promise I will never make that mistake again. Keep physsing!!! ...😏

Introducing...(new obsession)

A while back I wrote a post for this blog introducing my new interest or rather my new obsession. I didn’t post it, because it became a bit too personal. Instead the introduction happened in the previous post, in my list of utter nonsense. It feels a little unfair, because not only did I fumble it away in a list no-one wants to read, this interest feels more legitimate and intellectually sound than a lot of my other interests and obsessions. I’m really cutting corners here, because I have tackled history and art in this blog. Another reason it feels unfair is, I’ve written extensively about my other obsessions, and I dedicated whole introduction posts. So, I decided to write it now.

 

I’ve always had an interest in history. I’ve watched dozens of history documentaries and I always made sure to dive into the history of any city I visited (by myself). I was also already familiar with Time Team, because when I went visiting Owen (friend) he often had Time Team playing when I walked in the door. As a matter of fact, he made me watch several episodes and specials he loves.

 

Last spring, just before the Corona lockdown, I was in need of new material to watch, that I hadn’t seen a thousand times already. So I decided to watch random episodes of Time Team, anything Youtube suggested. Slowly, bit by bit, as I started to recognize people, I was drawn in deeper and deeper. After a while I decided to start at the start and together with Owen I watched Time Signs, Time Team’s predecessor and then I moved on to the very first episode of Time Team and on and on. It took me about 1 month to watch all regular episodes intermixed with quite a few of the specials. I still haven’t watched all the specials, but I think I can say I watched most of them by now.

 

I learned so much during that month. By now I’m on repeat viewing, usually one season at a time, or whatever Youtube suggests or whatever Tim Taylor (TT’s producer) uploads. It’s a amazing how, after having watched all episodes, I’m still learning on repeat viewing. The episodes are so full of information, it’s impossible to soak it all in at once. (In my previous post I was inordinately proud of the line “History! Archaeology! Continuation! Stratigraphy!!!” It all applies to that series of lists though.)

 

Now for the real reason why my interest grew into an obsession.

 

He’s ginger, skinny (was, not so much anymore), cantankerous, but sweet and funny. He’s the Geophys Wiz, the techy of the lot. He’s the king of gloat and incredibly proud of what his Geophys can do. Also, my pc is rather charmed by Geophys, because it insists you write Geophys with a capital G. I’m sure Mr. G would approve.

 

What Mr. G probably wouldn’t approve of is my interest in one Mr. A. I love what he does, how he does it and how good he is at it. He shares many interests with me, in landscapes and how people used them and maps. I also approve of his uncompromising way of doing his job, without embarrassment, but with passion and unrelenting focus.

But Mr. G knows his place, though I think he would argue it’s not below Mr. A.

 

Not to worry, Mr. G., you are ranking high in my list, with Mr. A a close second. Now there’s something you can gloat about (though I wouldn’t, because I’m still only one person).

List of Things - 2020 Edition

• The passed two years haven't helped me to readers who leave me comments telling me they at least read my blog. That's okay, tho it hurts... editions in red...blogger gives now the possibility to check how many times your blog has been read. It seems people do find my blog, but don't leave comments. Gee thnx people! Or they still don't bother to read it. Turns out, most of the visit counts come from bots using my blog to only further their own advertizing. Bots have lots interest since I don’t post all that often anymore. Might increase again. Nope, no more readers. Which is a good thing since I hardly ever write a post these days. Readers? What are those? Can I eat it? Who cares about readers? Who cares about readable texts!? 

• My computer is not ready to log on to the rkop-chatbox...still not after two years, but who cares..I don't at least...I hardly ever visit RKOP these days and I forgot what chatting is (j/k) What's RKOP? (j/k) What’s a computer? (j/k) Huh, what!? RKOP? What is that? Can I eat it? Chatting? What is that? Can I eat it? Oh no wait, I know what chatting is. We started a group chat on Google's hangout, Citizens for Boysenberry Jam. I'm a citizen....for boysenberry jam...apparently. I'm still a citizen. I'm also a Time Team fan on facebook now. I don't understand facebook.

• The new sound boxes I bought...SUCK! With a Capital SUCK and an exclamation mark...still do...still do, but I bought new ones which make me happy...The sucky sound boxes are now near the end of their lives; one has already given up completely. I'm thinking of buying a new set for in the bedroom. Now my good boxes are slowly joining the choir of dead sound boxes. I'm thinking of buying new ones for in the livingroom and for in the bathroom and maybe for in the bedroom. I still own those good boxes; they’re now in my bedroom. I bought really bad boxes for in my bathroom which produce some light and bad sound. I now also added a bluetooth version in the bathroom. In the livingroom I’m using my friend’s old boxes which have a heavy bass. Unchanged situation. Sound boxes? What are...Is this getting annoying? I don't use the bluetooth version in the bathroom anymore, because it cuts out at the wrong moments. I now carry the ones from the bedroom to the bathroom. I'm also still using my friend's heavy bass boxes. I bought new speakers for in my home office. So I can watch Time Team when I'm supposed to work.

• Dennis Morris and Charlie Mingroni -without the ‘e’ at the end. I can also spell "Gyllenhaal". …and Garfunkel…I can't however, write "Roy Hal...Hall..H-hh...Hal-Halee?" Oh, fer chr...!!! Halee...I think...All that really matters is that his first name is Roy. Halee? Hallee? Hallie? No new names to get wrong, though many people have trouble with Stewart Ainsworth; they think his name is Stuart.

• I was up at 7.00 am this morning....I could have been....I was awake and up at 7 am to empty my bladder, then went back to bed to play the Sims FreePlay. Bad (bed?) me. I was up real late. I really need to change my life rhythm. Maybe try getting up at 8.00 instead of 9.30. I'm pathetic. Nope, still pathetic (got up at 9.20), I just don’t care anymore. Actually, got up at 8.00 am today. There might be hope for me. There was hope. I changed my whole routine (waking up/exersizing/food) and started to get up around 7.00, do yoga, have breakfast en then go to work. However, since I'm on the edge of burning up, my schedule got wrecked. I got up at 9.00 am today. Still wrecked. I got up at 10. Corona killed my good habits.

• I reviewed my passed two years using my review from a couple of years ago which I recycled as well...I actually took the time to review several lists and brought them back together in a list that lists what is applicable now. I used that last revised list, see the link below. Still old list. Might add another point. Yeah...why would I change the list? Let's face it, it's a tradition now. Good traditions should live on!!!

• I'm too lazy to write a completely new review...I thought it would be funny to use this list again...See previous addition...and again. I'm wondering when this stops being funny. I might have reached that point already. Personally, I still think it’s funny. I love the fact I can now trace the history of a personal futility; my speakers. This is now a habit really. No concern at all if it's funny or even read by anyone but myself. History! Habit! Tradition! (throws hands up in the air) History! Archaeology! Continuation! Stratigraphy!!!

• I hate the font I used for this list. Maybe I should change it. I did start to use more colours; might get a bit much after a while. For the sake of stupidity and to clearly mark the additions, I added green. If it hurts your head, send me your address and I'll reply with painkillers. Orange! To add to the pain and discomfort! Once again brightly blue, because I don't know which other color to do.