Monday, September 27, 2010

Bully <-> Victim

Looking back at my childhood, I realize I never fitted in any group. I wasn't the most popular girl at school, neither did I ever get bullied. If there was anything wrong than it was me being pretty much invisible. I never seemed to get noticed, and the moments I did scream or was stubborn and cheeky or aggressive, the teachers were so shocked, they just moved on not knowing how to react.

For some reason the worst and most violent boys were always protecting me. My mom told me when I was in Kindergarden, one of the boys always wanted to be around me and defended me saying I was not a girl. Amusing. Then when I was in highschool the boy with the most problems was always incredibly nice to me and involved me into the school activities. He was of all the scholars the nicest person to me.

I wasn't into sports, but I am a fanatic which means whenever I'm forced into doing some sports I at least give it my best. That in combination with me being invisible and not quite weak enough resulted in me skipping a bit through those gym lessons. Beside that, I'm someone who's not very willing to let the bullies have their fun, so when they picked on me I acted as if I didn't understand and just ignored them. After a while they gave up. I do remember taunting quite a bit older girl, because I'm just not having bullying, and we had to run cause I angered her quite a bit by bullying her back. Thinking back at it, it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but we were close to home so the girl didn't dare to follow us up into the appartment where my friend lived.

That's the thing with me. The bullying always left me unimpressed or I just bullied them back in such way it left them shocked, cause no one expects a tiny wee little girl going into it full force.

I don't have the illusion I can win a fysical fight. I know I've been quite a bit lucky for quite a few of these times I simply taunted them back or beat them in their own games. I only have my mind and the will to always win and the passion to detest being bullied.

No one bullies me and gets away with it.

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