Thursday, April 3, 2014

Bullying

I can see how a lot of people find this reply fantastic. Granted, it was a good reply, but not quite that brilliant. I'm saying this, because there seems something fundamentally wrong about his reasoning. He reasons the bullies bully, because they don't get the loving attention from their parents. I'm sure in some cases this is true, however, the root of the problem I think is something different.

Anywway, here's Mr. Wheaton's response:

Wil Wheatons reply about bullying

The reason why his response doesn't sit well with me is, I was never (or hardly ever) the bullied, and I was never the bully. I was shy, had a lack of confidence, was different from all the other children and even willfully placed myself outside the group. My interests were different and my attempts at altering my interests to fit in were minimal. I had all the makings to be bullied....but I wasn't while one of my best friends was, constantly. As a matter of fact, I was always the best friend of the bullied throughout my whole life. I was never popular, never conformed to the group spirit and and I was largely ignored. People literally went sitting with their backs towards me during lunch breaks.

Because of this, I figured there must be something else. I asked myself often, why them, not me? What tells me apart from them? Why are they bullied and I'm merely ignored? Is it the clothes I'm wearing? Is it the things I like and the things I don't like? Is it my own attitude and stance? Or am I just not interesting in any way?

 I think it has more to do with wanting to belong to a group, or trying to define the characteristics needed to belong to a group, that causes especially youngsters to bully. Cause what bullying does is solidifying and strengthening the bully's position and placing the bullied even further outside the group.

I was never too concerned about belonging in a group. I always had one or two, usually only one, sometimes only imagined, close friends. I always enjoyed my own private time and my own private things and activities. I always loved to see the backs of people visiting for my "pleasure". I never enjoyed the company of others much, probably because we didn't share many interests. Or maybe I was just closed off.

I remember reacting to the ocassional bullying I endured. I suppose I just looked in surprise at them, or just laughed in their faces or shrugged it off. And I also remember even challenging a group of bullies whoms ages were well above ours. I never ran faster before or since.


Anyway, I couldn't relate to Wil's reply. To me it was always simple; just ignore them, and they'll stop automatically. Though I thoroughly enjoyed the laughing in their faces. You should have been there.   I still believe in walking my own way and doing my own things and try not to be too much in other people's ways and respect other people's doings as long they're not in your way too much. Life is give and take and I suppose I've been very lucky.

EDIT: Obviously, this is not the say all, end all and if you have a good idea why bullies bully and the bullied get bullied, please enlighten me.

No comments: