Only the Lonely - Musings Inspired by Stephen Fry

I'm still working on the analysis. It's not quite right to go online yet. Here's something else for you to read: Stephen Fry's Blog

The reason why is, I completely understand the lose-lose situation. Well, I understand how it feels, but I can't say either why. I don't like visiting people or people in my house, but I do like company, except that when they're there, I want them to fuck off again. Telling you this reminds me of the blissfull relief after I closed the door and I'm home alone again. Big difference between him and me, I don't feel lonely at home, but I am very good at feeling lonely in crowds.

I don't write often about it. It's a sentiment I see as normal to my human being. I don't feel the need to talk or write about it. Normally. I don't know why not.

Suicide. Sure, I do think about it sometimes. I often think of jumping out of my window; I live on the 9th floor.
I once watched a documentary about suicidal thoughts. Apparently everybody has them from time to time, but most won't act on them. Apparently, it's a sort of fail safe. Don't do it. I'm not even sure why not, except that when death isn't pleasing, you can't go back. Other than that, and other than the people you leave behind, I don't really see a good reason why not. Is that weird?

I see death as non-existence, just like you did't exist before your birth. It didn't hurt, or at least I don't remember it hurting. I'm not sure of course. I don't remember getting born and apparently, that's traumatic as well.

What does annoy me is the thought of most people it's bad to be alone, or more specifically, it's bad to be single. Sure, it's nice to have a relationship, but I don't see why being single is that big a problem. I hated my family asking me about love interests. I hated the reaction of excitement when I told I had a boyfriend. I was basically all right being alone; it's something I'm really good at. I'm dreadful in relationships and I pity the person who has to put up with me.

Yeah, just some thoughts. I wish I was back home, on my own.