List of Things - 2024

 • The passed two years haven't helped me to readers who leave me comments telling me they at least read my blog. That's okay, tho it hurts... editions in red...blogger gives now the possibility to check how many times your blog has been read. It seems people do find my blog, but don't leave comments. Gee thnx people! Or they still don't bother to read it. Turns out, most of the visit counts come from bots using my blog to only further their own advertizing. Bots have lots interest since I don’t post all that often anymore. Might increase again. Nope, no more readers. Which is a good thing since I hardly ever write a post these days. Readers? What are those? Can I eat it? Who cares about readers? Who cares about readable texts!? Since I hardly ever write blogs anymore, checking reader count is pointless, unlike this list...I mean it doesn't service any goal but to amuse myself, but it has points, doesn't it? The only point about this list of points is 'Tradition'....a pointless tradition, but a tradition all the same.

• My computer is not ready to log on to the rkop-chatbox...still not after two years, but who cares..I don't at least...I hardly ever visit RKOP these days and I forgot what chatting is (j/k) What's RKOP? (j/k) What’s a computer? (j/k) Huh, what!? RKOP? What is that? Can I eat it? Chatting? What is that? Can I eat it? Oh no wait, I know what chatting is. We started a group chat on Google's hangout, Citizens for Boysenberry Jam. I'm a citizen....for boysenberry jam...apparently. I'm still a citizen. I'm also a Time Team fan on facebook now. I don't understand facebook. I hardly use any social media these days. I'm still a Citizen for Boysenberry Jam though. I like other jams too, but hardly ever buy them. Not much changed here. Very little chatting, even less jam.

• The new sound boxes I bought...SUCK! With a Capital SUCK and an exclamation mark...still do...still do, but I bought new ones which make me happy...The sucky sound boxes are now near the end of their lives; one has already given up completely. I'm thinking of buying a new set for in the bedroom. Now my good boxes are slowly joining the choir of dead sound boxes. I'm thinking of buying new ones for in the livingroom and for in the bathroom and maybe for in the bedroom. I still own those good boxes; they’re now in my bedroom. I bought really bad boxes for in my bathroom which produce some light and bad sound. I now also added a bluetooth version in the bathroom. In the livingroom I’m using my friend’s old boxes which have a heavy bass. Unchanged situation. Sound boxes? What are...Is this getting annoying? I don't use the bluetooth version in the bathroom anymore, because it cuts out at the wrong moments. I now carry the ones from the bedroom to the bathroom. I'm also still using my friend's heavy bass boxes. I bought new speakers for in my home office. So I can watch Time Team when I'm supposed to work. I'm not using the new sound box in my office, I'm using an old one, which is now dying. I'm now using the boxes that used to be the new boxes, but are now the old ones for work. I bought myself really nice plugin and bluetooth boxes for TV watching.

• Dennis Morris and Charlie Mingroni -without the ‘e’ at the end. I can also spell "Gyllenhaal". …and Garfunkel…I can't however, write "Roy Hal...Hall..H-hh...Hal-Halee?" Oh, fer chr...!!! Halee...I think...All that really matters is that his first name is Roy. Halee? Hallee? Hallie? No new names to get wrong, though many people have trouble with Stewart Ainsworth; they think his name is Stuart. Leonardo Dicaprio. In one go; I'm so proud...Not my current interest, but Tobey Maguire is really not hard to spell, though some people think he's Toby. I know better. I'm not even going to attempt to write his ex-wife's maiden name; she's Italian. Google it yourself!

• I was up at 7.00 am this morning....I could have been....I was awake and up at 7 am to empty my bladder, then went back to bed to play the Sims FreePlay. Bad (bed?) me. I was up real late. I really need to change my life rhythm. Maybe try getting up at 8.00 instead of 9.30. I'm pathetic. Nope, still pathetic (got up at 9.20), I just don’t care anymore. Actually, got up at 8.00 am today. There might be hope for me. There was hope. I changed my whole routine (waking up/exersizing/food) and started to get up around 7.00, do yoga, have breakfast en then go to work. However, since I'm on the edge of burning up, my schedule got wrecked. I got up at 9.00 am today. Still wrecked. I got up at 10. Corona killed my good habits. Yup, nope, I was up around 9am (woke around 4am), because I had a meeting around 9.30am. Nothing to do with me trying to be healthier and more productive. I'm wrecked, bed was warm and comfortable. Maybe one day I can rectify this again. Why am I even still writing about this? I'm a night owl! Deal with it!

• I reviewed my passed two years using my review from a couple of years ago which I recycled as well...I actually took the time to review several lists and brought them back together in a list that lists what is applicable now. I used that last revised list, see the link below. Still old list. Might add another point. Yeah...why would I change the list? Let's face it, it's a tradition now. Good traditions should live on!!! History! Archaeology! Continuation! Stratigraphy! In this edition that line goes here, because...Sad to see I didn't change much; just moved points around. Stratigraphy! (points up)

• I'm too lazy to write a completely new review...I thought it would be funny to use this list again...See previous addition...and again. I'm wondering when this stops being funny. I might have reached that point already. Personally, I still think it’s funny. I love the fact I can now trace the history of a personal futility; my speakers. This is now a habit really. No concern at all if it's funny or even read by anyone but myself. History! Habit! Tradition! (throws hands up in the air) History! Archaeology! Continuation! Stratigraphy!!! This list is now part of my life. Deal with it! I will start writing a continuation plan for after my death.

• I hate the font I used for this list. Maybe I should change it. I did start to use more colours; might get a bit much after a while. For the sake of stupidity and to clearly mark the additions, I added green. If it hurts your head, send me your address and I'll reply with painkillers. Orange! To add to the pain and discomfort! Once again brightly blue, because I don't know which other color to do. Bright pink! More pain! More painkillers! Long live all the clashing colors! I actually hurt my own eyes!!! Where are those painkillers!?

Previous version: Wiwipedia: List of Things - 2022 Edition

Happy Birthday

 It’s funny how humanities need to put people into boxes can deprive you. Actually, it’s not funny at all, it’s actually quite sad. How many missed opportunities, because we failed to see the many colours and qualities of a person? How often have people ended up in the wrong place, the wrong job, the wrong team, because someone failed to see the whole package or because people got mispresented? The word ‘typecasting’ is specifically used for the film industry, but I’m sure you can apply it all across the board.

 I was deprived from seeing some really good films. Luckily, I got the opportunity to catch up. The internet might spread a lot of misinformation but can also guide you in the right direction if you let it, if you are willing to be critical and put an effort into it.

 I moved on. I firmly landed in my sentimental fase, for I became interested into another actor whose name and face I’ve known for years and years. I never paid much attention to him, because he was always presented to me as a romcom actor. I was one of those people who looked down on romcoms and definitely the actors who did romcoms. I really shouldn’t, but I can’t deep dive into every actor’s career, so I let fate decide.

 A few years ago, after a hiatus, Hugh Grant came back to my attention with films that were not romcoms. I love it when actors spread themselves, do something they’re not known for, something new and unexpected. And even though I always only had a passing interest in Hugh Grant, and it’s still only passing, I was happy for him. I was even a little bit excited to see him do more interesting roles, with more depth and complexity. He had his birthday yesterday, turned 64. Happy belated birthday, sir!

 When you say Hugh Grant, you say ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’. I never saw that film. I think I attempted it once, because it is a classic, but didn’t get through it. Away from specific films, when you say Hugh Grant, you say romcoms. When you say romcoms, you either say Hugh Grant or possibly Colin Firth. Well, here we are. I never gave the man a second thought. I always thought of him as plain looking, not particularly attractive or handsome. Not ugly either, but rather uneventful, non-offensive, not-quite-intriguing, just-there? He was just another actor mainly known for romcoms, so he held no interest for me.

 Of course, both came to prominence during the romcom fase. A fase during which a new romcom was churned out every 5 seconds. Those were good times for soppy, romantic escapism and I allowed myself to dream away on some of them. Those were the kind of films I would watch on a Friday evening after a long week hard work. They required no thinking but did supply you with romance and a promise that maybe, this could happen to you. I had my favourites, but none featured Colin. No, I lie, I watched Love Actually, faithfully, every year, in Oktober or November. Colin’s story was my favourite. Not for Colin, but for the girl; she was really pretty. Of course, the story was very romantic and had the ‘they-lived-happily-ever-after’ ending. I accepted Colin as a romcom actor, but that was it.

 I remember Mamma Mia coming out. I remember hearing about the plot and thinking ‘Oh hell NO!’ and I scuttled off into the opposite direction. I didn’t pay any more attention to it, though I did notice the ads on the side of walls and buses for the musical. I didn’t go see it. I also heard when the sequel was released, and I remember thinking ‘We needed a sequel for this!?!?’. I did not go see it.

 As you may remember, I’m a follower and Patron for the channel Cinema Therapy. They’re fun, informative, helpful and fun…and I trust their judgement. They reacted to Mamma Mia (only the first one) last May and enjoyed it thoroughly. They convinced me to watch it, after more than 10 years. I fell in love. The film is so silly, so not serious, so cheerful and bright. It’s not trying to be anything more than fun and entertaining, and it is.

 Around the same time, I was transitioning from Tobey to something new. I wasn’t sure who yet, no-one quite caught my fancy, but I was open for someone new. For a bit I was watching Oscar Isaac fuelled by his performance in Moon Knight. However, I couldn’t find the hook that would draw me in. Not that Mamma Mia immediately supplied that, but I was transitioning so open for someone new and out of boredom I started watching interviews for Mamma Mia, specifically the dads.

 That was when I started to realize I had known Colin’s name and face for a long time but had no clue what other work than Love Actually and Bridget Jones he had done. I had only just found out he was in Mamma Mia. Oh, I was aware of the King’s Speech, but had never watched it. The first thing I realized was I had a completely wrong image of Colin in my head. He turned out to be chatty, charming, funny and outgoing. Quite the opposite of how he had always been presented to me. Then I had a look at his filmography and found out he has done more dramatic roles than comedy roles. Someone, or several someones, decided he was just a romantic lead and that was how he was presented. Having played catch up for the last three months, I now know it was a very simplistic and misdirected view of him. I’m glad I corrected that for myself; otherwise I would not have seen ‘A Month in the Country’ or ‘Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy’ or ‘Operation Mincemeat’.

 Oh, btw, it’s Colin's birthday today. Happy Birthday, Colin!!!

...Where the Sidekick Deserved the Oscar and the Lead's Salary

 

Source: 10 Book-to-Movie Adaptations That Outshone Their Source Material (startefacts.com)

Saving Rooster Tobey Maguire

 On a regular basis (every workday and sometimes even in the weekends) I do a search for anything new Tobey. With Tobey being very happy in the background news tends to be slow and repetitive. Today however I found a new website and it's surprising in a number of ways.

First of all, surprising thing is, it has its origin in German and I read the whole article in German without too many problems. I'm proud of myself. Though I needed a second reading to get the whole story. 

The second it's not actually about the Tobey Maguire I'm searching for, but rather another Tobey Maguire. 

Third, it's about a rooster, Tobey Maguire the rooster. I love chickens, roosters usually not so much, because they tend to be much more aggressive and quite loud, very early in the morning. I don't like aggression and I don't like to be woken up very early in the morning. 

The fourth surprising thing was, once I finished reading the article, I was invested. Now I want to know on a regular basis how Tobey is doing. This rooster just seemed uncharacteristically endearing. After reading his story, or what they know about his story, I couldn't help but feel bad for the poor animal. In the end, to me, he's a bit like the Tobey he was named after. For both I wasn't sure at first; neither of them seemed naturally particularly nice, but in the end they both won me over. And both turn out to be quite sweet, actually....

Does that make sense? Probably not, but I don't care and I'm sticking to it. It must be in the name...

I just realized another similarity, they both had difficult youths, but with a bit of help eventually blossomed.

Yeah, I don't know. Let's not think too much about it and just enjoy both of them.

Here is the article: DIE RETTUNG von Hahn Tobey Maguire

Note: The article is in German, so you either need to be able to read German or use Google translate. I guess I could add a translation here, but I'm not even sure how many people are going to read my blog or the German site.

Babylon review

 As you can guess I was looking forward to seeing Babylon, the new Damien Chazelle movie, because, you know, Tobey. I’ve been watching the trailers, featurettes and reviews ever since the first trailer was released and ever since the first screenings were held. The mixed reviews at first worried me, because they were not quite all over the place, but in extremes. People either loved or hated the movie. Over time, as I watched and read more reviews, it started to intrigued me. I read and watched the reviews carefully, comparing other people’s notes and opinions. There’s something interesting happening here.

 Because I’ve seen so many reviews I had some expectations, but I tried to be careful. Mainly, because most reviewers avoided spoilers, which made getting the plot difficult. I didn’t want to walk into the cinema with an idea about the plot, more than that we got to follow five characters. My expectations did influence how I experienced the movie, but it didn’t necessarily spoil it for me. For instance, the movie wasn’t quite as extreme as I expected; there was definitely not as much nakedness as I expected. However, I might have been desensitized to nakedness through my slash fanfic writing and regular trips to spa’s and nudist beaches. Also, I’m European; usually more desensitized to a lot of things compared to Americans.

 The ending(s)

There are too many endings (not starting at the end to be contrary, but this is the one point most people talk about no matter if they liked the movie or not).

 Duration

The movie is too long. I only partly agree with that. The pacing for me was just fine; I wasn’t a moment bored and somehow Tobey, who appears to the end of the movie, managed to creep up on me. However, I watch a lot of Classic Doctor Who where the pacing can be that of a snail. So, don’t take my word for it.

 Performances

The performances are great by the whole cast. This is the point where I did experience some underwhelment. Obviously, in the trailers and featurettes, they showed the best clips and with that the best part of the performances. Tobey really shone in the trailers and it made me really look forward to his performance. Me being underwhelmed had nothing to do with Tobey’s performance; he really is brilliant. I just somehow expected more (quality, not quantity) from Tobey.

The person who underwhelmed me the most was Brad Pitt, because to me it felt like he was playing Brad Pitt. Diego Calva was great, especially since it was his first Hollywood (leading) role and he held his own among the more experienced big names. My favorite performance (besides Tobey’s) was from Jean Smart. She has some of the best lines and wonderfully funny delivery like (paraphrased): “To be a witness of moving pictures and magic…Ah, who am I kidding; look at these idiots!!!”

 The Extravaganza, gore and dirt

In one review someone said: “In some scenes, he goes too far and somehow doesn’t go far enough at the same time” I agree with that. And this coupled with another reviewer who said: “A Scorsese coke film by a squeaky clean director.” sums up the problem with Babylon, I think. It feels like Damien Chazelle put things in there just for shock value, but doesn’t understand how to do this engagingly, or something. I don’t know. It just didn’t quite work for me.

 Characterization

Several reviewers felt the characters weren’t explored quite enough. Especially Sidney Palmer, played by Jovan Adepo, and lady Fay Zhu, played by Li Jun Li, got lost in the movie. I think they were there to highlight the roles different ethnicities played in early Hollywood and maybe how they got sidelined? I don’t know, the movie is not really clear about what it wanted to say about these two characters.

 Story telling

Quite a few reviewers complained there’s not enough focus and therefore the storytelling is all over the place. I can see why people felt like that, but to me it felt like a natural (chronological) flow of people going through life. To me it felt like I (time) travelled with them into the talkies era till it all ended for every single one of them. I do understand the criticism, because it’s not always clear what a character is doing at a certain time or why a character is doing something at a certain time. The story can feel a little dislodged and random at times because of this. But isn’t that how life works as well?

 Legacy

It’s not the greatest movie I have ever seen, but it’s definitely not the worst either. I believe this movie will have some staying power and build up a cult following. I hope it will.

In one review the reviewer, who did not like the movie, said he would change his opinion if Damien Chazelle, in about 5 years time, comes forward and says (paraphrased): “I intented this movie to be meta and ironic in the light of today’s movie climate”. I think this might happen. Apparently Chazelle anticipated the mixed reactions and even welcomed it. And the movie climat is rapidly changing at the moment with streaming services taking over. Some reviewers pointed out we are in a similar transition right now and the box office results of Babylon are a result of this. In other words, this is a movie about suffering the fate of great transition itself suffering a similar fate of another great transition. That’s why I believe this movie will eventually be seen as a masterpiece.

The Pussy Posse in Babylon

 There is one thing I don’t like about Tobey’s behaviour (and his good friend Leo’s) and that is his insistence to go out with girls that are half his age or less. It’s creepy and weird. On the other hand, I am wondering what women my age still go out to clubs like the ones Leo and Tobey visit? I don’t anyway, not anymore. However, it does look like these two haven’t grown up much when it comes to going out and chosing their company. At least in Tobey’s case, they don’t have to be super models whereas for Leo that seems to be a must. That is full on Hollyweird.

 Just like everybody I’m (eagerly) watching the Babylon trailers and featurettes. Just like a lot of people I’m looking forward to seeing more Tobey.

 Yesterday, YT comments. Most comments are like: “Looks like a combination of <insert Leonardo DiCaprio movie> and <insert Leonardo DiCaprio movie>.”

 Most listed Leonardo DiCaprio movies:

-       The Great Gatsby;

-       Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

-       The Wolf of Wall Street;

-       The Aviator.

 One comment asked: “Why isn’t Leo in this?” and my reply would be: “Because Leo thought ‘I’ve already done this 4 times…Why don’t you cast Tobey? …. And Lukas!”

 When they were younger they were so proud in stating they were outside of the Hollywood clique. It’s also widely known they help each other getting roles. It almost looks like that is what happened with Babylon which puts two of them right in the middle of the clique with another one already there, just not in the movie. Their lifestyles might not be quite as wild as depicted in Babylon, but they still have their asses firmly planted in Hollyweird! HOLLYWEIRD!

Clear the Cobwebs

When was it announced Tobey was going to be Spider-man? If it was well after 1999, then this comment is hilarious:

"Ulrich is good, too, although Tobey Maguire's tone--tight, inward, controlled--is beginning to wear on me after this and "The Cider House Rules." It's time for him to make a dumb teenage comedy (not because I want to see it, but more to clear the cobwebs)." 

Source: Ride with the Devil movie review (1999) | Roger Ebert

And what we got was more "tight, inward, controlled" tone with a lot of cobwebs.

Tobey Rant - His Reputation (possibly Part 1)

 Every time I think my crush is diminishing I find something that completely endears Tobey to me all over again. Yes, I’m still talking about him with rose colored glasses on. But him coming to the rescue of a girl who lost her bikini in the ocean or his involvement with ServiceNow is just sweet and wholesome. You can’t disagree with that, surely.

 However, all the things written about him that don’t make him look good keep popping up from time to time. Funny thing about that is, there’s never much substantial evidence nor, if you look properly at it, it doesn’t actually put him much in a bad light. His occasional spats with paparazzi is a good example of that.

 One thing that pops up on a regular basis is, that he’s a diva. This is always based on accounts from exactly two people, Charlize Theron and James Franco. Looking into it (a little bit), these two have their own reputation problems and a lot more rumors of bad behaviour and not getting along with people. So, because Charlize Theron and James Franco had some problems with Tobey (and many other people) and that makes Tobey a diva? Right….

 The second point Tobey’s diva behavior is based on are his back problems and accompanying demands on the Spider-man 2 set. Asking more money, yeah, seems greedy. Asking to have a doctor present and have the amount of steps counted, seems to go a bit far. However, health is important, and some demands I wouldn’t mind accepting, like the doctor present on set. However, there are many more options he could have gone for, which in the end, I believe, he did go for, like changing his exersizes. He also apologized later and admitted he made a mistake.

I’m not going to say anything about him firing his agent shortly after. It might have to do with what happened then, but it’s also very possible it was just something that was bound to happen anyway. I don’t know what happened there nor why.

 Then there’s his poker history and rumoured bad behaviour around the table. I will say one thing, I do believe Tobey was the best player and a sour loser. I watched him play Connect 4 with Jimmy Kimmel and he was a bit too keen at some point almost playing before his turn. And from what I understood from an account from Tobey’s friend Houston Curtis, Tobey did demand Molly Bloom to bark like a seal for a $1000 tip. Apparently, he was trying to make a point that he felt she was taking away too much money from those games. I don’t know how that explanation is supposed to redeem Tobey. So by humiliating someone he was trying to make the point that she was greedy in a game he had originally set up to feed his own greed. Yes, that sounds great.

 I do believe Tobey wasn’t aware of the Ponzi scheme one of the other players was running, nor that the money he won came from that. I believe at that point Tobey had left the organization of those games completely to Molly Bloom and it makes sense he trusted she had done her background checks properly, because she was also the bank depended on clean noses. However, he could easily have paid up those $300.000 instead of the settled amount of $80.000. It wasn’t as if that would make him bankrupt.

 That’s the only gripe I really have with Tobey’s behaviour; his greed. Other than that, he seems like a normal man to me, trying to do the right thing. He tends to take some time out for his fans, he’s usually very nice and polite and he has tied his name to some charitable organizations and actions.

 And when you look at the dirt that comes up from time to time, it’s always the same short list of stuff, with questionable sources and/or pulled out of context.

 I omitted the whole Don’s Plum saga, because I still don’t quite understand what happened there. Also most people involved were very young and a lot of mistakes were made by all involved including Tobey. But they were very young and very naïve; I’m not willing to hold that over his head forever, nor any of the others involved.

James Leer

 It is safe to say I’m a dreamer. To me dreaming is not just a fun way of spending some of my time, it’s also a safe way of exploring social situations, of exploring new ideas, of exersizing my analysing of situations, people and ultimately myself. It’s a safe way of learning. Having said that, I’m aware it should not be the only way to do all that. And if I’m being honest, for me, it has also often been an escape from reality.

 I fantasized for as long as I can remember. When I was a young child, around 4 to 6, I had an imaginary friend named ‘Anders’. Reflecting on that, the name of my imaginary friend, tells you what I was grappling with at the time. In Dutch ‘anders’ means ‘different’. I was different from the other children I grew up with. Superficially that came down to me being adopted and being the only child in school with a brown complexion. On a deeper level, I had trouble relating to and connecting with the other children. I often played alone, not because the other children didn’t want to play with me, but because I felt more comfortable by myself. I did not engage much with other children, especially if they left me to my own devices.

 In an earlier post I wrote my next post would be about James Leer, and it wasn’t, though in my mind the last little post didn’t really count. I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to say about James Leer and couldn’t really find an angle that interested me. I had also forgotten why I decided to write a post about James Leer. It must have been something hidden deep inside me that already knew I needed to write this post. Yes, this post will be, partially, about James Leer.

 Let me first discuss the character of James Leer.

 James Leer is a character in the movie ‘Wonder boys’, which is based on a book with the same title written by Michael Chabon. The movie is about a professor, Grady Tripp played by Michael Douglas, who is a novelist and teaches creative writing at an University. One of his students is James Leer, played by Tobey.

 James is a enigmatic, brooding, quiet and dark character and Tripp’s best student. Nobody really knows anything about him and because of plot Tripp gets to spend some time with him. One of the first things we learn about James is that he’s a quick writer, because he comes up with his stories when he’s in bed and can’t sleep.

 This is my angle, because he sounds like a dreamer. I even dare to say he is making up stories when he’s not in bed trying to sleep, because he spins quite a few stories when Tripp asks about his life, like where he lives, or why he has a gun in his pocket. It doesn’t become clear why James doesn’t seem to be able to tell the truth and we never really get to know him. That’s for a great part, because the story is not about him, nor is it about what makes him tick. James is there to help kick start a process Tripp needs to go through. But there’s a story to James too.

 There are only a few things we can say for sure about James Leer: He’s the best writer in Grady Tripp’s class. He doesn’t connect, nor enage with any of the other students, except for with Hannah. And he constantly makes up lies and little stories, not just for his novels, but about his own life. To me it seems like a mechanism to keep people at arms length, a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt perharps. However, he is very happy to stick to Tripp’s side when the story gets rolling. In the movie he even says: “I just wanted to stay with you for a little while.” We don't learn much about James, not just because he lies about his life all the time, but he needs some prodding to start talking at all, and then it's all "horseshit that leaves his mouth" as Tripp puts it.

 I suppose I relate to this character, not just for the obvious reason he tries to become a professional writer, but because of his relationship with the other students and because of his relationship with his professor. I also should admit to having lied about my personal situation to people. In 2008, for example, I was a mother of twins, two boys. I talked to other mothers about how my boys were doing. In another group, they never knew my real name and it took a little getting used to responding to ‘Noa’. As you can guess, I don’t have twin boys, I don’t even have children, nor is my name ‘Noa’.

 You could say James Leer held up a mirror for me, somewhat. My situation wasn’t exactly the same, nor was I ever as brave as James, nor did I ever manage to finish a novel. We both do like old music and old movies though, you know, the kind from the 40’s and 50’s. No, he was there to hold up the mirror to professor Grady Tripp and in the process it was made clear to me to get back to reality and to make some choices in my life, take charge.

I'm known for keeping people at arms length as well. In my case, you won't find out if you don't ask; the lying only happened in a brief period of my life, but yes it happened. Nor do I engage much with other people. I don't think I'm really known for my sunny disposition, but neither do people describe me as moody. Probably "scary" is more often used. I don't know. Not a 100% match, but still he pretty much held up a mirror for me.

It's only now sinking in, so this James Leer post was necessary. I need to kick this Tobey crush.

 By the way, the movie is about making choices. So....let's make some choices.

What the hell is this!?

 Wiwipedia: the Incomprehenisble Lil Luli - I confused myself! I do like the title though, it's intriguing, if I can give myself a compliment.

Wiwipedia: 2006 - Oh wonderful, I logged my quarter life crisis in 2013. Tell you something, I did move on and for a bit things were not too bad. Now I'm back doing crisis. Evidence, I'm reading my own blog. Sad discovery, I still haven't figured out how to deal with a life crisis and I'm doing what I was doing in 2013. However, 2006 has now somewhat escaped my memory; my mind has now gone back to 1992/1993. It's disconcerting.

Wiwipedia: Save Me & Wiwipedia: James - More evidence of mindless fangirl musings coming from a confused heart. Funny enough, I would still call him my soulmate. Even funnier, I would call Tobey the exact opposite.

Wiwipedia: Anti-heroes & Wiwipedia: Anti-Heroes 2 & Wiwipedia: Anti-Heroes 3 - I'm back to basics. It's not my fault, Tobey is just so hot! Fortunately for me, he's behaving himself these days, so I need not to worry about things affecting my life that really shouldn't be affecting my life. Not good for my obsession though...I love Tobey!!!!

Wiwipedia: List of Things - 2022 Edition - I didn't want to post a new version of my pointless list of points, but I do have an update on my speaker situation. I bought new speakers for my bedroom, which I'm not using, and plugged the old speakers from my bedroom into nothing, because it's bluetooth. Actually, I plugged it into my screen so I can watch Chromecast on that screen so I can feed my Tobey obsession. I feel like a middle aged guy who bought a sports car to sooth his midlife crisis. I'm rather more like a middle aged housewife desperately dreaming about all her lost dreams. I feel like a cliché. Because I probably am one. Tobey is still really hot, though. He probably also is when I'm not having a midlife crisis. Right!?

I'm going to be so embarrassed about this post in the future.

A Birthday Special - Tobey Maguire's Performances

 In my last post I started of with saying the post was not really about him and to an extent I kept my promise. However, I said more about him than I really wanted to, but I was trying to make a point.

 This post wil be about him, because, you know, it’s his birthday. Hopefully, I won’t end up talking about me.

 First things first: Happy birthday, Tobey! I hope you have a good one.

 I’m not the only one remembering his birthday. This article was posted in honor of his special day and inspired me to write this entry: As a wry, reticent spectator, Tobey Maguire delivered one of his best performances in The Great Gatsby | Entertainment News,The Indian Express

 Eventhough I agree with the main point of the article, Tobey’s performances doesn’t get the recognition because it’s often too subtle for viewers, the Great Gatsby is not one of my favorite movies. I am, however, very willing to talk about his under-appreciated performances.

 Tobey himself once talked in an interview about how he is not a flashy sort of actor (paraphrased). It also comes through in his performances. Tobey’s performances always serve the story, make the story shine, but that not necessarily showcases the brilliance of his performance. You have to really watch him to see what he’s doing, to recognize the work he’s putting in, to realize how small expressions and actions contribute to a scene but not upstage it.

 I have not talked about ‘No Way Home’ yet, or have I? I might have mentioned it, because that was how Tobey was brought back to my attention. In this post I will use ‘No Way Home’ for comparison. I’m going to compare his performance to Andrew’s. This is not going to be a “Who is the best spider-man?” or “Who is the best actor?”, but rather why most people noticed and loved Andrew’s performance and missed a lot of Tobey’s beautiful subtle actions.

 To start with Andrew. What comes to mind immediately of course is him tearing up after he saved MJ. The memory of losing Gwen in a similar situation combined with relief and a bit of redemption was so clear in Andrew’s expression. Our hearts bled and cheered at the same time and Andrew really brought it across.

Then there’s the scene on the roof, where Andrew’s Peter talks about losing Gwen, becoming rageful and stopped pulling his punches. It was heart wrenching; Andrew’s performance really packed a punch in both scenes.

 In contrast, Tobey’s performance was more restraint. The pain was still visible in his eyes, but unlike Andrew’s Peter, he has come full circle and learned to live with the memory and pain. He’s in a different place, more settled, more mature and therefore his pain doesn’t pack the same punch anymore.

 His Peter is more concerned with his younger counterparts and this is where Tobey’s performance subtly shines. His look at Tom’s Peter when Tom can’t bring himself to say Osborne’s name or when he doesn’t get a reaction when he says he thinks he can make the cure for Osborne. Very small actions, but it tells you how Tobey’s Peter stands in the situation and how he grew when we weren’t watching.

 Or his conversation with Andrew’s Peter about their relationships. Yes, he stays very much in the background, but does some important things that informs the dynamic between the three. He really pulls and keeps them together. He’s the Peter making sure they all three move in the right direction. Small little nudges that might go unnoticed if you don’t pay attention to it. Beautiful story telling, but also nicely performed, right where those nudges belong. Tobey’s Peter isn’t shouty and attention seeking and Tobey knows that. Also, Peter probably learned from the last time we saw him. I’m sure these days he’s very careful not to lose himself in his own glory; that did not go well for him…no matter how funny or cringy it was for us to watch that.

 Tobey’s performance lay for a great deal in facial expressions and reactions in the background while other bigger stuff is happening. Automatically your attention is attracted by the main event on screen, but the stuff in the background is just as important to make it all feel real and not manufactured. You only notice it when the background stuff is not serving the story; it feels grating and distracts you from the story and leaves you with a feeling something was off. That’s the art of serving the overall story.

 This is only No Way Home. Only looking at this movie you might think this was a particular acting choice on Tobey’s part, and probably to an extent it was. However, when you look at his other works, Brothers excluded, that’s the kind of performance he mainly delivers. Controlled and restrained, inward focused, calm or somewhat quiet. These are all qualities that don’t tend to put you in the spotlight. I know this, I suffer from the same problem(?).

 I’m not saying that because of this Tobey is the best actor in the world; he’s not. But I think he’s a better actor than most people will give him credit for. I will admit that I had to learn to appreciate him. Before I dove into his career I didn’t think he was a good actor at all. I changed that opinion; I think he is a good actor, but it is a bit easy to miss, because his performances are so subtle.

 I do wish he had taken a wider range of characters, but most of the roles he played were early on in his career when he couldn’t be quite as picky as he is now. He tended to get typecast quite a bit, and he admits to that. After Spider-man he started to play more roles that gave a bit more variation, like in Brothers or Pawn Sacrifice. Unfortunately, a lot of these movies went relatively unnoticed and got overshadowed by Spider-man. On top of that, Tobey got pickier. None of this helped him get the recognition I think he deserves.

 But at least he will always be Spider-man; this is his gift and his curse. (Blah! Gah! I can’t believe I just wrote that!)

 In my next post I want to talk about James Leer. I’ll leave you hanging with that. If you’re really curious about who James Leer is, Google is your friend.

 As if I have readers…

ETA: I just checked back in time and found this: Wiwipedia: Jake Gyllenhaal's Performances. I had to change the title to this post. It seems, in my opinion, Tobey beats out Jake. Huh! Wot-du-ya-know!

CinemaTherapy

 In my last post I wrote about Tobey Maguire and how I’m not sure why I developed such a hard overwhelming crush on him. I wrote my next quest was to figure out his personality type and that I thought he’s an introvert, but I wasn’t 100% sure. Having watched him more in interviews and behind the scenes and having read more articles about him, I’m starting to get a better picture. I’m not saying I’m getting to know him well, because he’s really good at guarding his privacy and personality.

 I am quite confident in saying he’s an introvert and a judger, based on MBTI. I’m not going to back this up, because this is not a post about MBTI, nor his personality. I would rather concentrate on how he matters to me right now, and why I developed this crush.

 As for most people, 2020 and 2021 have been challenging for me. Unfortunately, I lost some family members during these years. And not being able to go out and let off steam and relax for a bit didn’t help. On top of that, my organization, or at least the part I work in, is in massive transition on top of a shortage in personnel on top of ongoing big projects. Oh yes, and then there was this little thing called Covid19 demanding extra services from us. To say it’s been a bit hectic and chaotic is a gross understatement.

 All this amounted to me pretty much having burnout. I needed an escape and Tobey gave me that. I needed something positive and exciting in my life. I needed some inspiration and motivation to keep going. And Tobey gave me that. Now you want to know how he gave me that and trick me into talking about Tobey after all. Instead I will give you this video: 

 I can add my own two cents why that partnership between Tom, Andrew and Tobey is so inspiring to me, but I think Jonathan said it all in the video.

 This video is from the channel “Mended Light”. I found them through the channel “CinemaTherapy”, because he’s a host on both. I’m subscribed to “CinemaTherapy” and I’m a member of their program here, because I believe you can learn so much from them about your mental health and relationships and how to keep both healthy or how to deal with problems in both.

 Outside of Spider-man (No Way Home or other) Tobey inspires me to keep reflecting, to keep learning, to keep working on myself, to keep taking the difficult hurdles and take my life in my own hands. Sometimes through the movies he’s in or the characters he plays, but also through how he goes through and stands in life. Most people see either a man they call Tobey but is really Peter Parker, or they see a man making mistakes and getting angry and judge him for that.

 When I look at Tobey I see a man who, just like anyone, makes mistakes and sometimes exhibits less than perfect behaviour, but he learns from it. Often you can see patterns in people’s behaviour where they go back and forth between good and bad habits. I don’t see that with Tobey. Tobey makes brand new mistakes from time to time, reflects and then corrects. He is a man visibly learning from his mistakes and I appreciate and admire that.

 If you compare No Way Home Tobey to Spider-man 1 Tobey, he’s much more comfortable and content. Or at least he comes across as more comfortable and content. If you compare his No Way Home demands to his Spider-man 2 demands you also see a clear positive difference. His Spider-man 2 demands were self-serving (even though because partly of health reasons/his back somewhat understandable and his demand for higher salary) where his No Way Home demands were serving the movie (he requested less exposition about his Peter, because it was Tom’s movie, awwww).

 It’s also quite clear he’s a family man and he takes these responsibilities very serious. He guards his family carefully, keeps them out of the public eye and won’t talk much about them in public. I don’t have a very clear view on how he fathers, but what I’ve seen of it, I like it. In this case (seeing) less is better.

 I will say one more thing about Tobey; his taste in movies matches mine beautifully. I watched most movies he appears in now and I enjoyed most of them. I’m even willing to go as far as saying that some of them have entered my list of favourite movies overall. Quite a few of them I will revisit on a regular basis and not just because Tobey is in it, but because I enjoy the story, characters and performances.

 I like to close this post with this from “CinemaTherapy” about mental health problems caused by negative experiences: “It’s Not Your Fault, but It is Your Responsibility.”

 I really wanted to add this, because it’s so true. Also, I can see Tobey took his responsibility and therefore became a beautiful human being.

ETA: Why I'm crushing so hard on Tobey is confirmed here: Psychology of burnout: is your celebrity crush a symptom? (stylist.co.uk)

I'm a Stupid Little Girl With a Crush

I did not see this coming!

Yes, you're all crying: "It's because of Spider-man: No Way Home!" 

and I reply: "Well, d'oh!"

I managed to remain spoiler free, so for the longest of times, I had no clue this movie had three spider-men....oh, spoiler warning...😐

I'm not a massive Spider-man fan, nor is my friend, so we decided not to go see it in the cinema, but to hold off till it was available online. But this blog is not about all that. I'm trying to write an intro and failing miserably. 

I do need to mention spider-man and my personal history with it. It's actually pretty much absent, or at best minimal. I was aware of the comics, but never read them. I was also aware that Tobey Maguire is the original (movie) spider-man and Andrew Garfield his follow up. I never watched their movies however. I did watch Homecoming and Far From Home. I was even aware of the reboot after reboot, which of course automatically follows out of the fact that we had known two different spider-men before Tom Holland's. I was even aware that Tobey's spider-man is many's favorite spider-man. I was even aware of Tobey Maguire as an actor. I feel I'm listing all this in the wrong order.

My awareness of Tobey Maguire didn't stretch much further then his profession. I never specifically seeked him out. I never went to see a movie because he was in it. To me he was just one of those high profile actors that shuffled by my attention from time to time. That was that. Didn't think much about him.

Along comes No Way Home. Nope, never seen the Maguire/Garfield movies, but I was still excited when both Andrew Garfield and Tobey appeared. I loved the interactions between the spider-men. It was epic to watch them swing through my screen. It was decided then and there I needed to watch what had gone before.

I was more aware of Andrew's career, though I'm not an avid fan and I missed most of what he's been doing. Of Andrew I knew he is a good actor; he impressed me in the movie The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Tobey, as I wrote before, I had no clue of what he had done in the past.

Remember my crush on Jake Gyllenhaal (I feel like such a soppy fangirl)? In that period, as I always do with new actor crushes, I bought several of his movies including the movie Brothers. Jake was one brother, Tobey was the other. I completely forgot Tobey was in it. In my defense, I was rather focused on Jake.

Brothers was the third movie I checked out (again) to start my research on Tobey. The third, because the DVD was already gathering dust on my shelves and I checked out Spider-man 1 and 2 first. I'm a bit ashamed I had forgotten he was in that movie, because he did a great job. Definately one of his best performances. I wasn't, however, completely hooked yet. I don't know when that happened.

I googled him to see what I could find about the actor, rather than the roles he had been playing. I very quickly found footage of him getting angry and mildly aggressive with paparazzi, some very unflattering stories coming out of his poker games and weird scandal about a movie called Don's Plum. It all didn't look great; it didn't paint a very positive picture of him. But I couldn't shake the feeling there was a sweet person somewhere in there, so I dug deeper to see if I could solve the puzzle that is Tobey Maguire.

With him being a very privat person, it's not easy to get a good grip on his character, if there is any truth to the above, and to explain why it all happened. It's even hard to paint a nice picture of him. The thing is, Peter Parker's sweetness came from somewhere and I believe it didn't just come out of Tobey's acting chops, but for a great deal out of the man himself. So I set out to find out where it came from and how the previous paragraph fits within the Tobey Maguire story.

My goal was not to make him my next interest, my new hobby or fantasy. I just wanted to understand why. So I dug, I googled, I read, I watched, I analyzed. 

Suddenly I was crushing hard. Every time I see a photo of him I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and butterflies taking off in my stomach. It's somewhat unsettling. I'm 41 fer-goodness-sakes! Ain't I too old to crush so hard?? What am I crushing on? I don't know him personally!! I barely know anything about him!!! It also really took me by surprise and I'm not really sure why this is happening. Like I said, not a very positive picture of him.

To be fair to him, he hasn't been in any scandals for a decade and more, and he does seem to be a good and sweet father. He also seems much more settled, calmed down and content. I think he really did leave his wild days behind him. Visiting a club with Leo doesn't count; he should be able to go out and enjoy himself.

Next stop on this journey is figuring out his personality type. In interviews he's very thoughtful and takes his time finding the right words. That suggests he's an introvert. Not 100% sure yet though.

List of Things - 2022 Edition

 • The passed two years haven't helped me to readers who leave me comments telling me they at least read my blog. That's okay, tho it hurts... editions in red...blogger gives now the possibility to check how many times your blog has been read. It seems people do find my blog, but don't leave comments. Gee thnx people! Or they still don't bother to read it. Turns out, most of the visit counts come from bots using my blog to only further their own advertizing. Bots have lots interest since I don’t post all that often anymore. Might increase again. Nope, no more readers. Which is a good thing since I hardly ever write a post these days. Readers? What are those? Can I eat it? Who cares about readers? Who cares about readable texts!? Since I hardly ever write blogs anymore, checking reader count is pointless, unlike this list...I mean it doesn't service any goal but to amuse myself, but it has points, doesn't it?

• My computer is not ready to log on to the rkop-chatbox...still not after two years, but who cares..I don't at least...I hardly ever visit RKOP these days and I forgot what chatting is (j/k) What's RKOP? (j/k) What’s a computer? (j/k) Huh, what!? RKOP? What is that? Can I eat it? Chatting? What is that? Can I eat it? Oh no wait, I know what chatting is. We started a group chat on Google's hangout, Citizens for Boysenberry Jam. I'm a citizen....for boysenberry jam...apparently. I'm still a citizen. I'm also a Time Team fan on facebook now. I don't understand facebook. I hardly use any social media these days. I'm still a Citizen for Boysenberry Jam though. I like other jams too, but hardly ever buy them.

• The new sound boxes I bought...SUCK! With a Capital SUCK and an exclamation mark...still do...still do, but I bought new ones which make me happy...The sucky sound boxes are now near the end of their lives; one has already given up completely. I'm thinking of buying a new set for in the bedroom. Now my good boxes are slowly joining the choir of dead sound boxes. I'm thinking of buying new ones for in the livingroom and for in the bathroom and maybe for in the bedroom. I still own those good boxes; they’re now in my bedroom. I bought really bad boxes for in my bathroom which produce some light and bad sound. I now also added a bluetooth version in the bathroom. In the livingroom I’m using my friend’s old boxes which have a heavy bass. Unchanged situation. Sound boxes? What are...Is this getting annoying? I don't use the bluetooth version in the bathroom anymore, because it cuts out at the wrong moments. I now carry the ones from the bedroom to the bathroom. I'm also still using my friend's heavy bass boxes. I bought new speakers for in my home office. So I can watch Time Team when I'm supposed to work. I'm not using the new sound box in my office, I'm using an old one, which is now dying.

• Dennis Morris and Charlie Mingroni -without the ‘e’ at the end. I can also spell "Gyllenhaal". …and Garfunkel…I can't however, write "Roy Hal...Hall..H-hh...Hal-Halee?" Oh, fer chr...!!! Halee...I think...All that really matters is that his first name is Roy. Halee? Hallee? Hallie? No new names to get wrong, though many people have trouble with Stewart Ainsworth; they think his name is Stuart. Leonardo Dicaprio. In one go; I'm so proud...Not my current interest, but Tobey Maguire is really not hard to spell, though some people think he's Toby. I know better.

• I was up at 7.00 am this morning....I could have been....I was awake and up at 7 am to empty my bladder, then went back to bed to play the Sims FreePlay. Bad (bed?) me. I was up real late. I really need to change my life rhythm. Maybe try getting up at 8.00 instead of 9.30. I'm pathetic. Nope, still pathetic (got up at 9.20), I just don’t care anymore. Actually, got up at 8.00 am today. There might be hope for me. There was hope. I changed my whole routine (waking up/exersizing/food) and started to get up around 7.00, do yoga, have breakfast en then go to work. However, since I'm on the edge of burning up, my schedule got wrecked. I got up at 9.00 am today. Still wrecked. I got up at 10. Corona killed my good habits. Yup, nope, I was up around 9am (woke around 4am), because I had a meeting around 9.30am. Nothing to do with me trying to be healthier and more productive. I'm wrecked, bed was warm and comfortable. Maybe one day I can rectify this again.

• I reviewed my passed two years using my review from a couple of years ago which I recycled as well...I actually took the time to review several lists and brought them back together in a list that lists what is applicable now. I used that last revised list, see the link below. Still old list. Might add another point. Yeah...why would I change the list? Let's face it, it's a tradition now. Good traditions should live on!!! History! Archaeology! Continuation! Stratigraphy! In this edition that line goes here, because...

• I'm too lazy to write a completely new review...I thought it would be funny to use this list again...See previous addition...and again. I'm wondering when this stops being funny. I might have reached that point already. Personally, I still think it’s funny. I love the fact I can now trace the history of a personal futility; my speakers. This is now a habit really. No concern at all if it's funny or even read by anyone but myself. History! Habit! Tradition! (throws hands up in the air) History! Archaeology! Continuation! Stratigraphy!!! This list is now part of my life. Deal with it!

• I hate the font I used for this list. Maybe I should change it. I did start to use more colours; might get a bit much after a while. For the sake of stupidity and to clearly mark the additions, I added green. If it hurts your head, send me your address and I'll reply with painkillers. Orange! To add to the pain and discomfort! Once again brightly blue, because I don't know which other color to do. Bright pink! More pain! More painkillers! Long live all the clashing colors!