Rereading my previous blog reminded me once again I'm still not interested enough in researching my roots. The three points listed had nothing to do with being adopted, they were simply my favorite ways of passing time.
Though the reason I'm still thinking I should do the research is:
1) I'm not getting younger and I know my biological mother isn't either. Since she's still living in Indonesia, chances are she already has died. Waiting longer will make that possibility even greater.
2) I'm searching for peace of mind, and I'm having the feeling that the rumble and mess in my head stems back to days I can't even remember. Only after researching my roots I will know for sure that was what the problem was and maybe I would have found my peace.
Truth is I'm not sure. I always tell myself and anyone who wants to hear it that who defines me is the person I am in daily life. I can pinpoint a few characteristics back to events in the past I do remember.
Truth is I think I have missing links.
I'm also thinking of getting into yoga. I am earlying my days, even though so far it didn't amount to anything. I still arrived at work late. I am still wasting my boss' precious time by writing a blog and reading forums.
Anyway....all thoughts.
Showing posts with label snooze alarm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snooze alarm. Show all posts
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
It's a Snooze
Back on RKOP (yes back on RKOP) I admitted I was living the longest snooze alarm dream lately.
About one year back I made the resolution to start the (re)search for my biological mother and my own roots. I googled some forums for adoptees and I signed in on some trip to Indonesia. Unfortunately, there was not enough interest to organize a group trip. Ever since, I've been hitting the snooze alarm button.
Truth is, I'm not convinced that is what I want.
About 6 months ago I found out I wasn't completely happy with my job and the function I was fullfilling. I thought I wanted to change jobs and go into a whole different direction. I did some thinking and wrote my likes on a napkin. I figured I would need reschooling. Ever since, I've been hitting the snooze alarm button.
Truth is, I'm not conviced that is what I want.
The only things I'm sure of is:
1) I love music and spending my whole spare time listening music or going to concerts and even traveling to concerts.
2) I love writing, but only when I have something to say and I'm sure as hell I'm not going to ruin that hobby by turning pro.
3) My dreamworld feels more comfy, cause I'll be only suffering from afar and it reminds me, my life is not so bad.
Lucky girl
About one year back I made the resolution to start the (re)search for my biological mother and my own roots. I googled some forums for adoptees and I signed in on some trip to Indonesia. Unfortunately, there was not enough interest to organize a group trip. Ever since, I've been hitting the snooze alarm button.
Truth is, I'm not convinced that is what I want.
About 6 months ago I found out I wasn't completely happy with my job and the function I was fullfilling. I thought I wanted to change jobs and go into a whole different direction. I did some thinking and wrote my likes on a napkin. I figured I would need reschooling. Ever since, I've been hitting the snooze alarm button.
Truth is, I'm not conviced that is what I want.
The only things I'm sure of is:
1) I love music and spending my whole spare time listening music or going to concerts and even traveling to concerts.
2) I love writing, but only when I have something to say and I'm sure as hell I'm not going to ruin that hobby by turning pro.
3) My dreamworld feels more comfy, cause I'll be only suffering from afar and it reminds me, my life is not so bad.
Lucky girl
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