Back on RKOP (yes back on RKOP) I admitted I was living the longest snooze alarm dream lately.
About one year back I made the resolution to start the (re)search for my biological mother and my own roots. I googled some forums for adoptees and I signed in on some trip to Indonesia. Unfortunately, there was not enough interest to organize a group trip. Ever since, I've been hitting the snooze alarm button.
Truth is, I'm not convinced that is what I want.
About 6 months ago I found out I wasn't completely happy with my job and the function I was fullfilling. I thought I wanted to change jobs and go into a whole different direction. I did some thinking and wrote my likes on a napkin. I figured I would need reschooling. Ever since, I've been hitting the snooze alarm button.
Truth is, I'm not conviced that is what I want.
The only things I'm sure of is:
1) I love music and spending my whole spare time listening music or going to concerts and even traveling to concerts.
2) I love writing, but only when I have something to say and I'm sure as hell I'm not going to ruin that hobby by turning pro.
3) My dreamworld feels more comfy, cause I'll be only suffering from afar and it reminds me, my life is not so bad.
Lucky girl
2 comments:
[deleted first comment because I left a sentence out]
yay blog! :)
sort of tangential, but: when I took a Freud as Literature class, we kept a dream journal to be turned in once a week. One girl in my class, during the first few weeks, explained that her dreamlife was realer to her than the "real" life-- that she had a detailed, vivid structure to her dreamlife with an alternate set of friends, family, and circumstance. That her dreams happened in real time and featured storylines and characters that were dearer to her than most in the real world. It sounded.. odd.. and yet I found myself jealous of the intricacies of her mind. She explained that sometimes she just wanted to stay there, choose that life over the one happening in the day time.
A few weeks into the semester, she stopped coming to class. She was very unique looking with long, white-blonde hair and a pixie like, face, always appearing startled -- and I never saw her around campus after that. I couldn't decide if she had just dropped the class or if she had receded into her dreamworld permanently.
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