Happiness 2.0

A few years back I had a discussion with someone about happiness, right on this blog. I never managed to put my opinion and thoughts across to my own satisfaction. It still haunts me.


I’m revisiting this subject, because happiness never seemed an ingredient in the lifes of Queen Sophie and her sons, and not even in her husband’s, the King’s, life. I’ve been wondering about how things were living in those palaces where the King and Queen fought their little wars. There was this one particular scene playing in my head.

“The Queen was talking about happiness, and about how she wasn’t. Eventually she turned to a maid and asked: “What do you think, miss?” The maid looks up briefly at the Queen while handing out tea. She only mutters: “Hmmm,” not wanting to answer. The Queen tries again: “Miss, are you happy?” Having finished putting the tea and cups on the table the maid stands up straight and answers the Queen: “I don’t have time to be happy.”.”

This is what my life looked like the last couple of weeks (only 2)

Looking back at the past months at work, it’s been so busy, I forgot being miserable about my work. It has to do with the more variety and the fact that I now consciencely seek the variety. My chore task still doesn’t excite me. I was blisfully and ignorantly happy for a couple of weeks till it hit me again this morning in the metro; “I don’t want to this job.”

Here I have to admit to what was said: “When you’re busy doing stuff, you don’t have time to think about being happy. Conclusion: thinking about happiness is a luxury.”

Yeah, I can see that. However, I still don’t agree with the statement that if you’re too busy to think about happiness, you’re probably not happy.

The last couple of weeks I was pretty happy. At work I forgot being miserable eventhough I was doing a job I don’t like much. Looking back, that was blissful.

Oh well, so many skies, so many people. Every difference in situation and person might provoke the opposite result.

Old Practice, New Period

THIS ONE!!! Good post. I forgot I wrote it and then didn't publish it. Why? No idea. Can't remember.

All the positivity stuff and all the stuff of happiness I already knew. The reason I never aired them, or even reacted on Jason’s blogs was, because it was all so obvious to me, I didn’t realize the rest of the world was only finding out or coming back around. I must admit I had a little forgotten about it too. Well, not really forgotten, it was filed somewhere in the back of my brains. Every time somebody brought it up, I remembered.

My initial reactions to Jason’s public epiphanies were: “I already knew that. He’s finding it out only now? Poor guy, that’s kind of sad.”

And my initial reaction to people having trouble practicing positivity and gratitude was: “There’s something wrong with your attitude.”

Like I said, I didn’t realize not everybody had The epiphany. So, not everybody believes in the good of practicing positivity. Also, a lot of people don’t even realize how much they got. They don’t realize there’s a very fair chance they would have been dead already if they got born 2 centuries ago, or on another continent. Our healthcare knowledge is incredible. The safety on the streets is so much better than it used to be. And I’m not only talking about people with guns and knives, but also about the hygiene. Realizing that, knowing that, there’s nothing else I can do than be grateful.

Sure our lives know obstacles and hurdles. Some you can take, others are too high. People have to realize they can achieve way more than they think. People also have to learn to draw the line on a personal level. Carrying on caring for other people and forgetting about your own needs isn’t going to help anyone in the end, and certainly not you. Often help and tools are present. Often we tend to think too hard and too complicated to solve problems. Try and make it as easy as possible for yourselves without breaking down opportunities and other people’s feelings. A few rules I try to follow.

1. Accept your limitations and celebrate your talents. Accept limitations in a situation and celebrate the possibilities.
2. Nothing gets solved without effort. If you want to achieve something, or change something, you are the one to make it happen. Put in your part of effort.
3. Make it as easy as possible and is acceptable. Being lazy can also be a virtue.
4. Together you can achieve more; it’s not a shame to ask for help. Remember:
a. You can’t change people, but you can change some of their behaviour. Inspire them.
b. You can’t change people, but you can accept their shortcomings.
c. You can change, but you have to do it yourselves.

If Eels Could Fly

Attempts to order my thoughts have not been successful. I’ve been juggling my thoughts, dreams and ideas for several months now.

I made a promise to think and blog about ‘Happiness’. I started a new obsession for ‘Alan Rickman’. I started a new little personal project concerning commercializing ‘Forums’. I’ve been modelling my dreams combining all above mentioned. Even my dreams are not structured at this point. It feels like throwing balls in choice directions and seeing where they’ll land without avoiding breaking windows. I might have broken a few, but the neighbours stayed inside. Maybe later there is hell to pay.

I have not been successful in structuring my thoughts, ideas and dreams, but I have been trying to live my life according.
I will approach everything in a positive way refusing to let anything make me unhappy. If I want to be happy I’m the one having to do the job or accepting the situation.
Every day I read forums and check their layout and readability. Ideas come up automatically and if I don’t forget I will write them down in my business proposal.
I am trying to structure my dreams, but like always I let them flow. Sometimes I’m close and I know what I’m longing for. Sometimes it’s completely ridiculous and going nowhere. Then again, dreaming about being in love with a man my mom’s age is a weird and awkward thing to do. I’m strung up nonetheless.

It all has to do with getting there. All three corner stones. Getting where I am comfortable for the next step, the next stage of fight. Like always. New ideals, new insights, adjusted opinion. There we go again.

Here’s the thing about Happiness:
Happiness is for a part a choice. I made a promise to myself to be happy, no matter what. There are always things in life worth experiencing, meeting, doing, living. Instead of dwell upon the bad things, I choose to seek the light; the things that make me feel good about me, about my surroundings and about the situations I’m finding myself in. It’s not time consuming, it’s only a fraction of a second to remind me. It’s my surviving mechanism; without I will dwell upon all that’s bad and I won’t move, I won’t leave my bed and I will die easy. It’s not worth it, it really isn’t. So I seek for the light and I move from light to light. Whenever it’s dark I will look forward and see what I can do to get there. If the money is not there, your loved ones are. If your loved ones are leaving you for heaven, your memories are there. If your memories are bad, there is always hope for a better life in the future. But you’re going to have to let it. If only you really want to, you can be happy no matter what and it won’t take you a second.

I can’t think of a better way to explain why I think it’s not true Happiness is a luxury. Though it does require a certain of understanding, or an epiphany.

Harry Potter and the Quest for Happiness

Lately I’ve been preoccupied by the Harry Potter films which we (=bf and me) borrowed from my ma-in-law (my bf’s mom, obviously). I never watched the films before, because the world and the thus forthcoming stories have never really been of interest to me; I’d rather see films closer to what’s possible. I must admit I’ve been doing some research on the storyline after having seen the sixth film “the Half-Blood Prince”. The cliff-hanger left me dangling and wondering about Professor Snape, and I needed confirmation Snape is not on the opposite side of Dumbledore. That said, I really don’t care about Harry, so I completely surpassed his presence and moved on to his mother Lily since that is where the story actually started. I must admit I only know that because of the little research I’ve done to who and what Professor Severes Snape is.

The promise I made about replying about Happiness is still in the back of my head, but neglected cause of the entrance of Snape into my brains (I really need to practise me some Occlumency. I can’t believe I actually used that word). I’m writing this entrance, because Snape’s entrance threw me back to thinking of how people achieve happiness. I think no spoilers are needed when I say Snape’s childhood where somewhat rotten and so were his student years. The fact his deep love for Lily isn’t answered doesn’t help either. I didn’t read the books, so I’m basing my thoughts on the film; Snape seems far from happy. Was that because he was too busy performing his duties, or was that because he had to miss the presence of Lily?

Obviously, happiness is not high on his agenda since he’s got other things to do, like sort of babysitting Harry. He mgiht not even be capable of being happy; he doesn’t seem to be the person for it.
On the other hand, Harry might be. He’s obviously not as dark as Snape, even though he has a boat load of things to tend to, like getting ready to battle Voldemort. Still, he does find the time to search for his happiness, or contentment, or whatever is required to achieve some level of happiness.

I don’t have my theories all worked out yet; I will get back to this subject. However, the above does help me a little in phrasing my answer. Before I get back to write a proper piece about Happiness, I’m going to reread the comments so I won’t shoot aimlessly and fail miserably.

Elaborations Of My Thoughts About Happiness

"no offence and of course it's your blog with your thoughts so this is not criticism but you seem a little sure of yourself and find that people who think differently have an 'attitude problem'."

Of course I'm pretty sure about the things I say, and if not, I usually put them before a questionmark. With that said I'm not saying I'm right, or that I'm all knowing, cause I'm not. I'm exploring and I'm doing it in public for everybody to read and comment.

But I have to ask you: On what did you base the idea that I 'seem a little sure of' myself? Especially in the blog you commented on I wrote "people were saying to me". In other words, other people were sure and told me to think and do differently. I thought about it and decided they were right. So, what did you base that statement on? Even in other blogs I wrote recently I found nothing but personal questions, experiences and thoughts. Of course I'm sure about those; what I think and feel are the only things I'm sure of.

You should also know that all the things I'm stating here as fact are not even my original ideas, but stolen from scientists, prophets, philosophers, and so on. I don't think in the entirety of my blog I have said one word, that was not about me or my emotions, that was once uttered before by a wiseman who thought hard and well about it. A lot of my theories are stolen from psychology and religion like Buddhism.

Also the comment about that I seem to think differently thinking people have an attitude problem puzzles me. What did you base that on? Was it that message on RKOP? Well, that partly was an attitude problem. However, don't forget it's not easy to change attitudes. Don't forget any attitude is just the product of a brainwash. Those people with the "attitude problem" are not even really to blame, but they are the once who can change it. And no matter how you look at it, but if you want to find happiness, or rather peace of mind, you're going to have to adopt a certain attitude. You can break and make with your own mind way more than most people know or dare to believe. I'm pretty sure about this, cause I've seen it many times and the old wise prophets can't all be wrong.
I would not look at it as an "attitude problem", but rather an attitude that's not going to help you to find the happiness, or warm fuzzy feeling you're looking for. You might find that feeling, but it's not going to be because of that attitude, rather despite of that attitude.

"Don't you think that someone who has the possibility, the time and the energy to think about finding happiness, can't be very unhappy in the first place?"

No, I don't think so. If you read my blog carefully you will find that I think most people are happy without knowing it. Also I know a lot of people are thinking about happiness, because they (think they) feel unhappy. So my question back to you would be: Why would somebody who's not happy not be able to think about finding happiness? I think he is able to think about it, but he might not be able to find the key to happiness. The reasons can be many, for example they think they don't deserve it, or they think it doesn't actually exsist.

The whole happiness thing goes around in circles. Whoever is able to be happy probably always will be or has it easier, even though he has loads to worry about.
On the other hand, the one who can't find happiness probably thinks about it way more, but can't seem to figure out how to be happy and let every bad moment drag him down deeper.
In the end the happy person thinks less about it and just is happy, while the other person thinks about it a lot, but never gets happy.
People tend to forget about the things they have and complain about the things they don't have. They tend to take the things they have for granted and bemoan the things they lack. It's the same with happiness. When people are happy, they're not going to think about it too much, because they already are and they don't need to do anything to become. Only when they don't feel happy they start to think about why and how to become happy again.

Now just forget what I said (because your truth might be different from mine) and tell me: What is happiness to you? Are you happy? And what is peace of mind to you? Do you have peace of mind? Do you think the two have to do with each other? Why or why not?

Old Practice, New Period

All the positivity stuff and all the stuff of happiness I already knew. The reason I never aired them, or even reacted on Jason’s blogs was, because it was all so obvious to me, I didn’t realize the rest of the world was only finding out or coming back around. I must admit I had a little forgotten about it too. Well, not really forgotten, it was filed somewhere in the back of my brains. Every time somebody brought it up, I remembered.

My initial reactions to Jason’s public epiphanies were: “I already knew that. He’s finding it out only now? Poor guy, that’s kind of sad.”

And my initial reaction to people having trouble practicing positivity and gratitude was: “There’s something wrong with your attitude.”

Like I said, I didn’t realize not everybody had The epiphany. So, not everybody believes in the good of practicing positivity. Also, a lot of people don’t even realize how much they got. They don’t realize there’s a very fair chance they would have been dead already if they got born 2 centuries ago, or on another continent. Our healthcare knowledge is incredible. The safety on the streets is so much better than it used to be. And I’m not only talking about people with guns and knives, but also about the hygiene. Realizing that, knowing that, there’s nothing else I can do than be grateful.

Sure our lives know obstacles and hurdles. Some you can take, others are too high. People have to realize they can achieve way more than they think. People also have to learn to draw the line on a personal level. Carrying on caring for other people and forgetting about your own needs isn’t going to help anyone in the end, and certainly not you. Often help and tools are present. Often we tend to think too hard and too complicated to solve problems. Try and make it as easy as possible for yourselves without breaking down opportunities and other people’s feelings. A few rules I try to follow.

1. Accept your limitations and celebrate your talents. Accept limitations in a situation and celebrate the possibilities.
2. Nothing gets solved without effort. If you want to achieve something, or change something, you are the one to make it happen. Put in your part of effort.
3. Make it as easy as possible and is acceptable. Being lazy can also be a virtue.
4. Together you can achieve more; it’s not a shame to ask for help. Remember:
a. You can’t change people, but you can change some of their behaviour. Inspire them.
b. You can’t change people, but you can accept their shortcomings.
c. You can change, but you have to do it yourselves.

Headlong into the Future

Recently I embraced an old theory, because everybody kept saying it. Also, because after thinking about it, I could not disagree anymore.

Everybody is always searching for happiness. What is happiness? What are we all searching for? Is it a state of mind? Is it a feeling? Is it a way of life? Did we think about the definition of ‘happiness’ at all? Do we even understand what we’re asking for? Is it possible we’re searching for something we already have?

Lately, I’ve been told not to search for ‘happiness’ but for ‘peace of mind’. I was told to think about how I felt about my current situation. I was told to think about the things I thought made me unhappy and to think about how to make the situation go away or to accept it. Then back to thinking of happiness.

I found out I actually was happy. Maybe not with certain situations, but that could be fixed or accepted. Take it or leave it. I could choose happiness or gloom. I could choose to stay where I am or move on. I choose to move on. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is a state of mind, even a way of life. So I stopped searching for happiness, I choose happiness. I am searching for peace of mind.

Realizing it was knowing what I needed to do to completely feel contented, or to get ready for the next phase. Life is an ongoing battle, and it’s up to you if you’re conquering or perishing. If you put your mind to it, you can achieve way more than you think. If you accept certain limitations you will be contented easier and feel good about yourselves quicker. In both cases you will grow faster than you would ever dream you would.