Fans vs Lovers

Today we had a discussion on the Dutch forum. One girl asked why we critized Jason all the time. That it seemed like we were no real fans. I was glad to see most people regarded our fandom of Jason the same way as I did; We're in it for the music. The girl couldn't understand how we don't like certain things of Jason or the things he does or says, or the music he chooses to play. She couldn't understand that it was possible to not like the person Jason Mraz, but like the music he puts out.

Than I realized I couldn't understand how you can dismiss music solely based on a person's personality. To me, those are two completely different things which have only remotely to do with each other. I even dare to say that the quality of the music has nothing to do with his personality. So why would I judge the music based on the person who created it? That's simply not fair.

I think she forgot that a lot of us know more of Jason than he has put out the last two years. A lot of us fell in love with him pre I'm Yours. I hate to draw that line, but it's that line where things started to change. Jason used to put out more serious stuff, heavier stuff. Stuff that took some time to dawn and find a place in your heart. A lot of that stuff still is my favourite Jason Mraz music. I love Jason for his honesty and his passion. Cause eventho his directions have changed, he still does everything with a passion and an honesty which is rare. I love that about him, not the direction he choose to take.

The direction he choose to take is simply not my direction, and sometimes I even wonder that is the direction he should have chosen. Sometimes he really annoys me. Sometimes I simply don't care. Truth is, he's not on the same path as I am anymore. I won't be the one telling him to do things in a different way, but I won't keep my mouth shut either. He's got the right to blog about whatever he wants to, and I've got the right to say my say about it; whether be it agreeing or disagreeing.

The music he chooses to play is another subject. Some of that music reflects his personal state of mind. I can put up with some of it, but only in a small quantity. I just don't understand why I have to like everything he does. I just don't understand why I just can't enjoy the songs I do like without having to think of which president he's supporting today. Wasn't music supposed to bring people closer anyway? Wasn't music the instrument to forget about the things that make us different and remind us what we have in common? What Jason and I have in common is that we both love certain music. Let us just enjoy that without limiting each other in thought and speech.

Credit where credit is due.

Thank you.

Half of My Heart, but Hopelessly Devoted

So far, with any of my celebrity crushes, I was always hopelessly devoted to my crush (or crushes). The kind of love one feels, for someone you really don't know, is baffling. In fact, I'm only in love with the image, the character I created in my head who bears the same name as my celebrity crush. I am quick to note that anything I think and say about my idol is based on what I read, what I heard, what I experienced on a very superficial level and the way I put all that information together. The person I see as, for instance Jason Mraz, is not the actual person the way he developed, acts and is in real life. I am very aware of that.

It's a bit of a scary thing to say I'm totally and hopelessly devoted to an illusion. He's not completely an illusion; he lives for real, he puts music out for real and I've been to several of his concerts for real. What is an illusion are the specific characteristics I connect to him. He's probably got some of those characteristics, but some others he does not have. Overall, the complete collection of characteristics that I have in my head and labeled Jason Mraz is probably not the collection that define the real Jason Mraz.

Do I care? No, not really. You can't possibly know every little detail of one person; not even your own partner, or child. I am aware I probably know nothing about Jason Mraz, and the small things I think I know, might be very wrong, or changed, or whatever. It's not really the case of loving someone who's not close, who's far from being a personal friend or even knowing anything about that person. It's all about the love for the things he brings to the table of which I am (kind of) sure; his music. All I know is that when I listen his music, I am usually at ease and enjoying the words and melodies he put together and brings to my ears.

John Mayer once/often (select whatever applies) said he needed 30 minutes to bring people back to a place where they thought they knew nothing about him, before he could tell them who and what he really is. He is right; a lot of people, especially fans, claim they know their idol. They don't. Whatever they know are the superstitions in their heads and the rumours they read on Perez.com or ONTD. They might have guessed a few characterizations right, but only a few characterizations don't make a person (it would make a very boring person however). There's so much to have missed; it should keep us guessing.

So what's that relationship between an idol and his fan? What's more interesting; What's that relationship between a fan and her idol? (Note the subtle usage of he/she.)

It's in the melodies the idol brings, and also in the words. I can only really explain it with one of John Mayer new songs. Read the lyrics (and listen the song) and you'll know what I'm about. And with this, I take the liberty of assuming, you'll understand why this song caught my heart so bad and made me love John.

HALF OF MY HEART

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been
then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
trying my best to understand all that your love can bring

oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
half of my heart takes time
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that I can't keep loving you
oh, with half of my heart

I was made to believe I’d never love somebody else
I made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself
lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came
showing me a better way and all that my love can bring

oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
half of my heart takes time
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that I can't keep loving you
oh, with half of my heart
with half of my heart

your faith is strong
but I can only fall short for so long
time will hold, later on
you will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart
but I can't stop loving you
but I can't stop loving you
but I can't stop loving you with half of my...

half of my heart (2 times)

half of my heart's got a real good imagination
half of my heart's got you
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that half of my heart won't do

half of my heart is a shock on a wedding to a bride with a paper ring
and half of my heart is the part of a man who's never really loved anything

half of my heart (6 times)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_u7scUM9TM