To Be Different, or Not To Be Different - That's Also Not the Question

Another of my allergies.


When I was traveling to work this morning, I saw a poster telling us not to look for the differences, but build bridges. Sounds like a lovely suggestion, doesn’t it. However, as usual, the world is not quite as simple and black & white like this.

Here is what I would say:

“Look for the differences. Don’t judge, but use the differences to each other’s advantage. Build bridges with those differences. Believe me, it will create fanciful, fascinating and innovative new bridges.”

That’s a crap, really too long mission. Let me try again:

“Build new innovative bridges with the differences to each other’s advantage.”

What I’m doing here, right now, is practizing my mission statements skills. When I was still a student there was one course dedicated to formulating missions. It was a warm summer day like today, and it was dark and cool in the classroom.

I made that last one up. Seemed dramatically appropriate.

Yesterday, my colleague and I kicked off our department’s new era. We already secretly started, but yesterday we officially started. The first assignment is thinking up a good mission statement which we can put on a flyer and spread throughout the whole company. The next step will be rewriting the “Product Diensten Catalogus” (Translation: “Product Services Catalogue”). That’s quite fun to do; it adds some variety to my work diet.

The start of this post was also partly inspired by the post about the gay question.

YouTube link: Jake's Changing Looks

Just like with the “gay” issue, it’s not being gay that is the issue, it’s the way people treat gays, that’s the issue. It’s not people being different that’s the issue, it’s people judging each other based on those differences. Of course everybody is always right and their differences is what should be the mould for all other life. In some cases, yes, the other is wrong, or maybe you are wrong. In a lot of cases however, nobody is completely right or wrong. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.


The last time I said that online, someone told me I was the biggest loser. I replied with a *shrug*. Worst thing (for that person, cause his/her comments don’t colour nicely on him/her), it was about something trivial; Jake’s looks. Oh, no, wait, That Is important.

Here's a game for you: Spot the difference!


Jake (twice) in the new film "An Enemy"



To Be Gay or Not To Be Gay - That's Not the Question

Here’s another of allergies.


Yesterday I was watching some Ellen’s. You know, the talkshow of Ellen Degeneres. There was this musician woman not only plugging her album, but also talking about her coming out. That was all interesting, sad and marvelous. However, I noticed one that annoyed me; people pro gay making a point of being gay. In my opinion that is not what the point should be. What the point should be is that they are, in many cases, treated differently compared to straight people. They’re treated like a circus act, or an anomoly. That is what’s wrong about the whole gay question, not if someone is gay or not.

Let’s take Ellen. It is wonderful what she’s done; it took courage and she came out glorious. I do appreciate her for that. That’s not the main reason I watch Ellen though. I watch Ellen, because I think she’s funny. I watch Ellen, because she has interesting guests. I watch Ellen, because she seems nice and skillful in her job. I don’t watch Ellen, because she’s gay. Frankly, I don’t care she’s gay. To me, it’s totally not interesting what sexual preference she has.

Ellen (left) and her wife Portia. BTW, Portia is shorter than
Ellen, she's just wearing high heels.

This brings me to another point. No matter where you go, beit online or in real life, people always seem to land on the question: “Is he/she gay?” I don’t understand that. Why is that always the most interesting question? If you want to date someone, sure, I can see why you would want to know. However, in a lot of cases, they just ask to know, not for practical reasons. Why?

Often I remarked I wasn’t interested, because I don’t care. Usually, I get the answer: “Neither do I.” Then why are you asking? The question even never surfaces in my head, only if I’m thinking of asking someone out.

The fact that seems to be the basic question points out we’re not ready for the lifestyle with gays. That’s not the gays’ fault, it’s just a fact. As long knowing if someone is gay is the most interesting thing, we keep treating them differently. I think the whole point is, they are like us, human. So can we just please stop asking and start treating them as such, as people. Thank you.

For your information: Yes, I have wondered if someone was gay. It concerned a girl I really liked. I never asked her out, because 1) I was too cowardly and 2) she turned out to have a boyfriend. Doesn’t matter, I have a boyfriend now.